For us, work approval was the determining factor. Most jobs now accept that employees have a parent day on Friday. But the other day of the week…it is awkward no matter what. I settled for Monday, while my husband stayed home Friday. It was and still is a hassle, as most meetings are on Monday. However, Monday was the only day available with this daycare when I enlisted my baby in my second trimester.
So I don’t think it will matter much for the baby. He can get used to both weekly schedules, as long as you’re consistent about it.
If you can, I would try and have the baby in day care for one or two mornings or afternoons when you have time off work. So you will be free to do chores in your home, or just catch some sleep or relaxation. I did that and it is totally worth it.
One more suggestion: ask the daycare for contact info for a handful of current clients and then call them and see what their experience has been like. Our daycare has a parents’ listserv and a parents’ council - you might also ask about ways that communication between parents is facilitated. It’s really nice to know some other parents at the daycare, especially when the kids are too young to tell you what their day was like. I have a couple of daycare mom buddies with whom I exchange occasional e-mails along the lines of, “Hey, Susie was playing with the blocks when I came in this morning - looked like she was having a blast!” or “Johnny has been pretty grumpy at drop off recently. Will you let me know how he’s doing when you get there to drop Jane off?” Sure, you can get that info from the staff, but it’s also nice to have other sources.
You might also ask how long (on average) the teachers have been employed there. In our town, the best daycare provider had teachers who worked there the longest. They were experienced, motivated to work with children and happy with their workplace.
I think it depends on your kid. Largely, I think your last comment is spot-on, though - that as long as you do the same thing every week, they’ll be fine with whatever. I’d think about what might work best for you, try it, and if it doesn’t work, try something else. If your workplace is flexible enough to let you try the 3-day week, they’ll probably work with you (up to a point) if you need to adjust your schedule.