Dear Cow-Orker: before you click "send"...

The BBQ Pit
1

…you might want to make sure you’ve sent that bitchy, accusatory e-mail to the right person. Cow-orker, I only say this to you because I’m real. :stuck_out_tongue:

Make sure that what happened is actually the *other * person’s fault before you go on an all-out tirade and accuse that person’s whole department of being incompetent and having “issues” with productivity, communication and brains. Make absolutely sure it’s not a matter of one of your underlings fucking up and then hiding it, only to have it exposed when the other division coughs up the smoking gun: the e-mail from two months ago from said underling - your underling. (It was beautiful, by the way.)

Also, before you make the decision to hit “send” to distribute that well-crafted but misguided rant, make sure you really, really want to copy everyone and their supervisor on up to the Executive Suite on that trickily worded e-mail. Once you hit “send”, my friend, you can’t get it back. If you’re prepared to accuse in public, be prepared to prove. (I gather you didn’t do that, based on the wildly yammering grapevine…)

If you fail to heed these words of advice, which you obviously did, please do not act surprised and have a hysterical meltdown when you get your ass kicked for not doing your homework before throwing out nasty accusations for everyone to read. Other Big Suits who head up other important-y, Big Departments and outrank you tend to not like other Big Suits with overdeveloped senses of authority taking potshots at the way they run their departments, and I’m pretty sure they don’t like being public recipients of blanket accusations of stupidity and incompetence.

In reality, naturally, I assume nothing of real consequence will happen to you. For a transgression of this nature, I figure the most that will happen is you might - and that’s a big might - be told to send an e-mail of apology in which you apologize if anyone took offense at your remarks, we are all here to work together, and in the future, any concerns about your department should be brought directly to you and not by way of forwarding communications one perceives as unprofessional/rude directly to Senor CEO. 'Cause, you know, that’s just unprofessional.

ETA: I didn’t really say this to her. I just come here to bitch about it. :smiley:

2

Or, she might have just developed a reputation for hot-headedness, etc. and be considered unpromotable. It could happen.

3

People don’t forget an email like that. Nobody is going to give your Cow-Orker the benefit of the doubt on anything for a long time. There may be no official consequence, but my WAG is none will be needed. Time wounds all heels, and in this case, my WAG is it won’t even take that much time.

4

Sounds like a lovely email to send in from… oh… say an anonymous hotmail account?

5

I love the smell of workplace schadenfreude in the morning. :slight_smile:

6

Hey, pity this poor Cow-Orker.
'Cause there are a lot of cows out there that just need to be orked.

7

Mmm, only rivaled - but not beaten - by the lovely smell of fresh-brewed coffee. The grapevine yammering reached fever pitch. Yeah, I think some major damage has been done to her rep.

Projammer, this anonymous hotmail account of which you speak… :stuck_out_tongue: (idea brewing…forming…coming to life…)

I think the people who stick around here will be talking about that particular tirade for years. I mean, it had a couple of really great zingers in it, (I did laugh at a couple of them, so embarrassed about that) I have to admit, but totally misdirected, tremendously inappropriate and unprofessional, and delivered really, really badly. Yeek. She’s done.

8

Can you post it, with names removed to protect the innocent?

9

there are two kinds of people i hate - Keyboard Heroes and Two Can Van-Dammes. This woman is a classic case of the first one.

As a general rule, if you wouldn’t say it in a public meeting then don’t say it in an email.

I’d agree with that. Nothing pisses me off more than a minion copying me in on an email to another minion when its something like this. I find it very hard to resist the urge to automatically side with the email’s victim when a member of my team does it, especially if they haven’t checked all the facts first.

If there’s an issue that can’t be resolved and needs my attention (or they want my advice) then i’d rather it be brought to me privately so we can discuss the best approach to take together.

Frankly she deserves what she gets. :smiley:

Similarly if someone outside my team does it to someone in my team then, again, i want to know why they didn’t come to me privately about it - if its serious enough an issue that they think it warrants my attention then, once again, they could have some common fucking courtesy and come talk to me privately about it first.

10

Oh and Illinois Nazis.

I fucking hate Illinois Nazis.

11

^^^

What I was going to ask! Do it!

12

garius, I’ll bite. What’s a “Two Can Van-Damme”?

13

WAG – someone who has a couple of beers and acts like he’s a martial arts master?

14

Fucking A.

In fact, I’m pretty much the opposite. There have been times when I’ve been upset and said something in person that I’ve later regretted. I usually read my email before sending anyway, and if I’m upset, I’ll usually save a draft, do something else for ten minutes, and come back to it. I’ll almost always end up deleting it and starting over.

15

Okay, okay, I give. :slight_smile: Let me de-identify and change the names to protect the innocent. I might have to remove a couple of things to prevent identification but give me a bit and I will give it a shot.

16

I am not a minion, I am a cow-worker I suppose, but I once sent a rant to a cow-worker from another division (not to the whole world). The point of my rant was correct, but still it was a stupid move and I paid dearly. Not for pointing out the problem, but for the unprofessional way in which I did it. Pretty stupid for a former soldier and former cop. One would expect I had a grasp of the concept of chain of command. I was told in no uncertain terms in the future I would go to my supervisor with the issue, and if things were not handled there go to HR for mediation. No exceptions. To do otherwise would be at the peril of my continued employment. I was put in my place pretty damn quick.

17

Sorry, I tried to post earlier but I timed out, so I left it to come back and try again later.

Okay, although this is not the *full * text of the e-mail, this is the meat of it. All names (and in some cases, gender) have been changed to protect those involved. I also left out some stuff that was actually sort of inconsequential (project-related) and left out a few “unique” sentences to further protect those involved and prevent any possible identification.

I cannot describe the distress I am feeling right now and I feel it is directly attributed to John’s department and Sally’s department, to a lesser extent, since although Sally’s department staff was late in submitting their requested portion of Project X, they at least submitted it, although Jane (her underling) will need to rework a large chink of it. If Sally’s staff did not understand what was being requested by myself and Jane there is no reason they could not have contacted Jane or even me to ask for clarification! We would have been happy to give additional direction at anytime had we been made aware Sally’s department could not comprehend was was being asked of them.

Why did this not happen if Sally and her staff could not understand the project specifications, which looks to clearly be the case by the looks of what was turned in??? This is not rocket science and it is unacceptable. When another department is depending upon yours to assist in order to roll out an organization-wide project of this magnitude it is expected that a department lead will do just that and lead, and communicate, and make certain their staff know their deadlines and that they do what needs to be done to get the job done on time and done right the first time.

It is inexcusable that John’s staff failed to provide their product to Jane. Jane indicated she received no response to her inquiry for the finished product from John’s designated department contact and logic dictates that no direction or support other than what we gave initially was provided to John’s staff to accomplish this extremely vital task.

This will have a major impact on our ability to roll out Project X in its entirety on time. We are down to the wire here and it will require a great deal of additional work on our part to take up the slack because if Sally’s staff could not correctly produce the first time, it would be the definition of insanity to return it to the same staff and expect different results. I would like an explanation as to how this happened, and more importantly how to prevent it from happening again, because frankly I could make a sandwich with all the baloney that seems to be going on. Let’s discuss today when everyone has a moment. After today Jane and I will be out of pocket putting nose to the grindstone to wrap everything up and perform the necessary rework. Clearly there are communication and productivity issues to be addressed and my suggestion is that they be addressed ASAP with the staff in question to prevent issues like this from coming up in the future. I will send a meeting notice ASAP.

*“Sally’s dept understood the project just fine. Jane fucked up the project specs herself and the date it was to be turned in, too. Department contact attached the e-mail with original project specs from Jane herself showing what had been requested. Boom. Wasn’t the same thing as what the E-mail Flamer had dictated.

  • Other department contact showed he’d e-mailed the finished product to Jane the day before the stated due date. Perfectly done and submitted early to boot. Email reply from Jane herself saying “Okay.” She had the finished product and there was written proof from her that she’d gotten it.

Give some slack to the under-medicated, would you? :slight_smile:

18

How prophetic.

19

Dear writer: if, after interviewing the CEO of one of the largest companies on earth, you feel that you absolutely must make snarky comments to your co-workers about him, his PR staff and the quality of his company’s products, do so privately.

Do NOT include them as comments buried within the text of your article, especially when said article is supposed to be forwarded to said CEO and PR staff for approval, as well as to the head of the magazine who had been begging the CEO for this interview. That goes double when the co-worker you are sending the article to, the person you think will remove your snark before it gets passed on, is a non-native English speaker. Your closing comment of “K-san, please delete these remarks before forwarding the article” garnered much amusement.

Of course, you may do as you please since we don’t work for the same agencies. Your agency (in charge of writing) had been nothing but rude, condescending and presumptuous to mine (in charge of editing and design), culminating in a hissy-fit (the week before this incident) in which your boss announced that we had no right to tamper with your literary craftsmanship, and that your agency would henceforth be sending articles directly to the client without our input. The offending article was the first product of your new policy, and in your effort to claim as much credit for yourselves as possible, you relegated us to BCC status when sending it in, so nobody would think we’d had any input into it. In retrospect, that was nice of you.

We’d like to thank you for the spectacle. The fireworks were quite pleasant to watch from our vantage point. And we most certainly enjoyed being awarded contracts for both halves of the work the following year.

20

Whoa…and I thought the company-wide email a guy in my office sent out concerning his salad dressing was inappropriate. (In his defense, the bottle was nearly full. In defense of the individual who disposed of the bottle, it did smell a bit.)