You know, I make a special point of not tearing the limbs off of small cute helpless animals with my bare hands.
And then I don’t bash their heads in with a large wooden mallet, laughing like a loon.
Will you send me money?
I had 5 ferrets at one time, I resent that.
I am most certainly not sane. Oh, and I have 2 now. You need more than 1 ferret so they can get into trouble together - better known as “keep each other company”. Ferrets are like a puppy/kitten combo on a triple espresso: fast, playful, short attention span, and mischievous.
I am appalled that you are accusing me of jesting about the deaths of puppies. Why, I don’t stomp on pigeons when I go strolling in the park – I’m goddam St. Francis of Assisi!
Daniel
[sub]I was just imitating her bizarre letter to me – I knew you weren’t serious[/sub]
Touché, good whoosh.
Ferret Herder, if you are not sane, then clearly you were not serious about ferrets.
Me, I’m sane. I only have two. I describe them to people as kittens on speed, although they are getting a little older and slower now 
Disappointment builds character - deal with it!
[sub]snicker snicker[/sub]
A single ferret is a satan-spawn creature from the deepest depths of hell. Amazingly enough, once you get two, the vast amount of conflicting evil offsets and you get a couple of mildy infuriating rascals. Just make sure you get a cage for them and put them up at night, or you’ll end up with your couches being turned into ferret tunnel toys.
Oh, I guess I should address the OP…Daniel, don’t you have a filing system for those kinds of letters? Something like a large basket that sits on the floor with a plastic bag in it?
That is because she is crazy!! (Ikea quote)
Maybe they were not puppies at all. Maybe they were her 8 children.
Marcie had a ferret when we met. I fell in love with Marcie first and the ferret second. We got him through lymph gland cancer surgery when he was six and we had two more good years with him. The cancer returned when he was nearly eight, causing him to lose the use of his rear legs. I held him as he “went to sleep” and I believe it was among the hardest things I ever had to do. Now, after grieving for two years, we think we are ready for another. In fact, if we get one, we are going to get two—to keep each other company. We have several cages, multi-tunnels and ferret toys galore—seems a shame not to have a few ferrets running around.
Ah, the glorious humor of elegant subtlety. I laughed, I tell you. Laughed. 
God help us, but I had a woman who wanted to drop her kids off at the animal shelter I used to work for. She was totally serious, and couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t help her. Yes, there was probably something mentally wrong with her…or maybe she was moving.
I gave her the children’s aid society’s number, they were probably better able to help her.
Oh, I filed her second letter right alongside her first letter in my filing cabinet. And I’m glad I had her first letter on hand – that way, I could take a look at it and make sure that she was smoking crack, that she hadn’t told me that the puppies were strays.
Nobody would call me overorganized, especially not if they saw my desk (or car or house or brain). But every now and then, I’m just organized enough to cover my ass.
(This is, incidentally, the kind of person who will later go to the County Commissioners claiming that I threatened to feed antifreeze to her puppies and toilet-paper her house and tell naughty stories about her to all her neighbors. She’s the kind of person you want to keep your documentation on.)
Daniel
I’m mildly intrigued and would like to hear more about your organization. Do you have a pamphlet?
Who do I make the check out to?
Please make all funds payable to “The Society For The Extortion Of Funds From The Tenderhearted.”
Send her a photocopy of her first letter. Oh I know you can’t but I want you to, dammit!
Regarding ferrets… I love them to bits. However, they pooped everywhere! Little bastards wouldn’t use the box. (and yes, it was in the corner) If I get ferrets again in the future some day… any tips?
D’oh! Burundi and I live together and use the same computer, and I’m terrible at remembering to log her off before I post something. 'Twas me, not Burundi; my apologies.
Daniel
IIRC ferrets are illegal in NYC.
Isn’t that bizarre?
They’re illegal in several states, because they are “wild animals” I believe. This despite various research and field tests that showed that ferrets totally suck at surviving in the wild.