Dear Mr. President-Elect: Advice/Requests -- Add Your Own

In My Humble Opinion
1

  1. Please pick a rescue dog for your new puppy. There are so many in need of good homes and they make such great pets.

  2. Please excuse unreasonable expectations. You have a tough job ahead of you and even if you do every single thing right, it will still take you years to address everything. And please keep your feet on the ground; although you are being greeted in some corners, both domestically and internationally, like the second (first?) coming of the Messiah, you look like you have enough sense to dismiss adulation you haven’t yet earned.

  3. How to be delicate with this one? There isn’t a good way, so I’ll just throw it out: Please keep your wang in in your pants. No offense to you personally, and no suspicion you might be a horndog, but many of our politicians have a dismal track-record for keeping their fly zipped, and appear to delusionally believe they won’t get caught despite being in the focus of a camera damn near 24/7. It’s hubris is what it is, or plain old stupidity. You sure don’t seem stupid, so try to stay grounded. No tap-dancing too close to the stall divider in airport bathrooms; no giving out plum positions to delectible boy-toys; no cavorting with prostitutes. And it should go without saying that the only sort of “job” you should receive from an intern is a copy job. Yes, there are some who think we should be more sophisiticated about this sort of thing, but this is not France, it’s the States. At best you would disrespect your wife , distract the country from more important matters, and disappoint thousands of people who are perfectly willing to love you. So just don’t go there, okay?

Thanks.

2

Dear Mr. President-elect, Congrats, yadda-yadda, please see attached resume, blah-blah, oh…wait this isn’t about me. It’s about you. Here’s my advice:

  1. Don’t shoot your wad too soon. You had a big win, you’ve got some political capital to spend. Thing is, you’ve got to make it last until the next election. You do not want to make radical changes, or push radical policies from the beginning. Start with small things that you can pass or otherwise accomplsih without controversy. Build up some good will based on accomplishments before “swinging for the fences”.

  2. Your party controls the Senate. You get to appoint judges. There’s a substantial backlog of openings in the federal courts at the District and Circuit level. Fill those vacancies with qualified nominees. Not fire-breathing radicals that the Ann Coulters and Rush Limbaughs of the world can rail about. Moderate to slightly left of center is fine. SDMB Poster Oakminster leans somewhat right of center, but would be an excellent choice for the Federal bench. You should find a place for him, preferably somewhere warm, with regualr access to SEC football, but hey, any spot will do.

  3. That thing you said on Monday Night Football…about a college football playoff. Yeah, you can’t actually do that, but quietly encourage the people that can to do it.

  4. Don’t push gun control, don’t raise the death tax. Yeah, I know those are liberal mantras. They are also horrible ideas. You’ve got more important things to worry about.

  5. That thing about appointing Oakminster to the bench? Really a good idea. You should totally do it.

3

I just watched his press conference and he had this to say when asked what kind of dog they’ll be getting, “With regard to the puppy, Malia is allergic, so we’ll have to get a hypo-allergenic dog. We would love to adopt, but a lot of shelter dogs are mutts like me, so…”
I love this man. :smiley:

4

Or get a bird. There’s rescue centers for birds too!

5

  1. You can’t be the president of all the people if you govern from the edges. Tend toward the middle and you’ll keep most of us happy.

  2. That said, sometimes a thing is just plain “right” and if that ticks people off at either extreme so be it.
    2b. Heed your conscience and not the polls.

  3. Get the economy together first, even if it takes your entire first term. You can worry about the other stuff afterward. And if you get the economy right, then you’ll get four more years to work on the rest.

  4. Remember your own advice that America must be a beacon for other countries. Try to regain some of the capital we’ve squandered via recent foolish foreign policy decisions.

6

1a. The “middle” isn’t necessarily where the media says it is. As president, use your conscience to move the Overton window to the left or right as need be.

7

Please, please, please stop the mandating of abstinence-only programming to receive PEPFAR funding. PEPFAR is about saving lives, not pushing morals. At least, in theory.

8

Please appoint an openly-gay/lesbian person to a high-level position (assuming they are qualified). We are all hurting from the recent state elections.

Please tactfully suggest that Michelle gets some help selecting her Inauguration wardrobe. She’s a stunning woman, and usually dresses really classy, but that dress was really hideous.

9

Please don’t bring Chicago-style politics/corruption to Washington. Your selection for Chief of Staff does not give me great confidence in your desire for change.