I tried not to be upset about this. It’s a mindnumbingly insignificant thing over which to get my panties in a twist, but you prune-faced sourpusses just wouldn’t let it die!
Yes, there was fieldtrip planned for the zoo. I checked the weather forecast yesterday and commented in the teacher’s lounge that I might like to wear a pair of khaki shorts, instead of long pants with my school spirit T-shirt on fieldtrip day.
This was met with “Oh, good grief! You’re so white! You can’t go out in shorts until you’ve had a little more sun on your legs”, “You’ll scare the children with your glow-in-the-dark legs!”, “You probably need a few visits to the tanning bed before you can wear shorts in public”, and “Girl, without a tan, you’ll look sick”.
I was taken aback by these sentiments and a little perturbed. I settled this morning on a pair of capris. Cool, comfortable, and less revealing. I was greeted this morning with “So you decided to save our eyes from your blinding white legs?” and “I told you that you wouldn’t want to wear shorts until you got that summer tan. Have you made an appointment at the salon?”
That’s it bitches. I do not NEED nor do I want a tan. I prefer not to have the cancer that many of my family members have had cut off and dug out of their skin. I prefer to not be a statistical death due to stupidity and vanity. I am PALE! YES! I like it that way. I do go out in the sun and I wear a hat and sunscreen! Sometimes I even sit in the shade or under an umbrella! The HORROR! You wonder why I don’t look my age? You wonder why people are shocked to learn I have a teenage son, while they remark on your birthday “Oh, you’re only 37?”
Guess what, I haven’t spent my free time in a fucking tanning bed or laying out in the sun covered with oil. Keep that in mind while you make your moue of distaste over my pale gams. It makes your wrinkly, dried up mouth look like a geriatric porn star’s twat. Crawl your saggy, dried up ass back into your Oil-of-Olay lined cocoon and ponder the reasons why you look like a desiccated harpy.
:: deep breath :: I’m better now, and since I got this out of my system here, I’ll never have to be as rude as you ladies are. Now, I can continue to smile and brush off your insensitive, too familiar comments.
I’m pale too, and I looked in your rant for a witty comeback. I like “geriatric porn star’s twat” and “desiccated harpy”, but they’re maybe a mite strong for my neighbor and my boss and my friends.
“Your legs are blinding me! I’ve never seen a person as white as you are!” Sigh.
TOTALLY agree. I too have been told I look ill and would look better with a tan. That’s when I smile and tell them the story of my grandpa, who played golf in the Southern California sun for years, got skin cancer on his head, which spread to his eyes and caused him to go blind. Yeah, I just can’t wait to go to the tanning salon.
If I was supposed to be tan, I wouldn’t have been born this color, I figure.
(I do use sunless tanner on my legs, just to get a little bit of color. And then I slather on the sunblock.)
Amen
I resisted a lot of people telling me I “needed” a tan in my youth…maybe that’s why I’m 36 and still get carded.
And if there’s anything sadder than someone lying out in the sun just to get there skin damaged (which at least might be a pleasent experience in a reptilian sort of way) it’s someone paying to lie in a booth with spoons on their eyes to have their skin damaged. I am no stranger to self destuctive behavior but some things are just beyond me.
I’m pale and I’m going to stay that way. If I get a little sun while I’m out doing my thing this summer, good. But I’m not going to go out and spend days grilling in the sun just to “get a little color”. Same goes for spending hard-earned money for the privilege of lying in a tanning bed. I don’t need the skin cancer or the wrinkles, thanks.
Weren’t women once praised for their alabaster skin? Bring back the parasol, I say!
I think what bothers me about the OP is that I would hope professional educators were a bit less shallow than that. Shouldn’t we be giving our kids the idea that the surface doesn’t matter.
So, your co-workers are making derogatory comments about your appearance that make you uncomfortable at work, and your appearance is due to your ethnic heritage?
:dubious:
They have laws for stuff like that. It’s called “racism.”
Preach it, sisters. I, too, am whiter than white. I work the graveyard shift and I shun daylight (it hurtses us, yes it does, preciousss) and every summer I have to hear from my fakebaked co-workers about how my legs are leaving light-trails in our dimly-lit basement room.
I like “geratric porn star’s twat.” And I CAN use it on my co-workers. 'Cause I’m the supervisor.
Also pale. I’m Irish. I burn in the sun. Burns hurt. I like to avoid hurt. Hats and sunblock for me.
My mother is 46 and looks 26. I’m 26 and with a little luck I can look this way for a while longer. Friends my age back home who tan look years older than they actually are, and tease me, also, that I don’t tan. It’s like a peer pressure thing - like drugs, smoking, or alcohol - it doesn’t do you one lick of good, but everyone thinks you should do it. Maybe so they don’t feel as bad about themselves?
I get out, I go outside all the time, and suck in as much vitamin C as I can. I love being outdoors. I just prefer not to tan.
Well, if it make you feel any better, Odinoneeye, I’m speaking of only two people on a forty person staff, but I’d imagine that shallowness and sniping can be found in any profession. Teachers, nurses, doctors, firefighters, police, congressmen, priests, nuns, etc. There’s always going to be an asshole in there, somewhere, trying to feel superior to the masses.
I enjoy the sun as much as anyone, and I like to get a little bit of a tan in the summer. But, I never tan my face, and I use sunscreen at least for the first five or so trips out.
You’ll have the last laugh when your skin is still soft and pretty and theirs is so leathery that wallets can be made from the skin off their alligator asses.
I’ve seen 23-year-olds who look older than I do at 31. I still get carded for alcohol, and I bet I will for a while to come.
There’s no eraser for what the tanning bed does to you. Natural wrinkles can be “touched up,” but the tanning will leave you with a sag like nothing else.
Seriously, I’m apparently among the statistically insignificant number of guys who consider “pale” a good thing. So, while I may not feel your pain, I’m with you in spirit
Damn, great rant. FWIW, I am light olive skinned and you know what? I don’t like tanning, either. Go all of us who don’t want to dry in the sun like a raisin. My (very very pale) husband doesn’t understand why I don’t want him to tan, either. He’ll get it eventually I hope.
I am pale as hell and I haven’t worn shorts in public for about ten years. I advise all my translucent brethren to follow suit. Light weight fabrics exist for a reason. It’s just sort of jarring, you know? You know. I know.
I was born with blonde hair, and have blue eyes and pale skin, plus over 50 moles on my body. That’s a hell of a lot of skin cancer risks. I got a lot of sun as a little kid, and a couple of severe sunburns before age 20 - more risks. Ever since then, I’ve gotten very little sun and worn SPF 45 when I’ve gone out for any extended lengths of time.
A couple years ago, my workplace had an employee health fair, and I was shocked when the dermatologists showed me my skin under a UV light - I had pencil-eraser-sized blotches of sun damage all over my face! They said it was either from when I was a kid, or perhaps from the half hour or so I spend outside every day while commuting (waiting for the bus/train). Now I try to slather on the sunscreen daily.
When I first met a man who works where I do, I assumed he was a burn victim - much of his face was covered with discolored, shiny skin. I found out later it’s the result of many years of battling skin cancer, and frequent surgeries.
A guy who used to be my boss died of skin cancer, malignant melanoma IIRC. He was a doctor. He was born in South America, and spent a couple months there every year, getting a deep tan each visit.
Late last year, I went to my dermatologist to have two moles biopsied. One was precancerous, and as a reminder, I have two reddish-purple scars on my body now, each an inch long, and every month I have to check my moles for any changes. The ironic bit is that the mole that was precancerous was actually getting lighter, which I’d kind of figured was a good thing. The dermatologist pointed to a lighter ring of skin right around it and said it looked like my immune system was responding to the mole - which was definitely not a good sign.
I try not to glare too harshly at people who complain about my extremely pale skin. If you care that fucking much, avert your eyes. I won’t risk adding more scars just to please your fucked-up sense of aesthetics.
I want to go back to the days of huge picture hats and parasols. Anyone know where I can get a Scarlett O’Hara type hat that’s wider than my shoulders?
I can’t remember the last time I got a tan-probably back when I was in high school. Even then, I’d usually end up with a nasty burn.
Screw sunburn. I’m not fishbelly pale-I’m porcelain white.
Mr. S’s sister got skin cancer. She found out by experiencing sudden extreme vaginal bleeding at work. It had metastasized to multiple organs in her body. When they did the exploratory surgery, they just looked around and sewed her back up. Six months later her two young boys were orphans. I never met her.
I have a lovely friend who has had, oh, I don’t know, four or five surgeries on her face to remove large chunks of this or that cancerous tissue, usually around her eyes and cheeks. She covers up in the sun all the time. We’re hoping that this last round of butchery is the last.
The gym where I work out has a tanning bed. Most of the people who work there are orange. One hideous woman is about 50 with stiff, scorched blond hair and leathery skin. Ick.
My arms get a bit of color from everyday sun (windows down in the car, etc). I try to get a little bit of sun exposure (helps the SAD) on my face in the spring, which cuts down on the burns later in the summer. I’m the only person I know that can get a burn wearing SPF 50 in April.
I can’t usually attribute tacky remarks to one specific gender, but my case it has always been other women who have ridiculed my protected complexion. Men are very complimentary.
(My father had skin cancer and began warning me in the late 1960’s. (I assume that this was fairly soon after the connection was made between sun and skin cancer.) I have not intentionally tanned since 1973. I had a carcinoma removed about ten years ago, so I’m grateful that I haven’t had more exposure.
I would still love to be brown as a berry in spring and summer and if I could do it without looking like saddle leather, I would love it!
