Death Match

I am seventy two years of age; I am physically handicapped and in general poor health.I can’t walk without a cane and I want to fist fight to the death with a republican who has handicaps similar to mine. I should mention that I am meaner than hell and would not fight fair. Who would be a fair match for me in the fight of the century, to be presented on pay per view TV? Winner takes all.This is an academic question but I could be serious about it.

It’s good for old people to take up a hobby, but have you considered gin rummy instead?


Without glasses I cannot see the cards. Or much of anything for that matter.

My best guess would be Charles Krauthammer. He’s relatively healthy, but he’s confined to a wheelchair due to an accident. He’s also fairly close to your age.

I will be glad to be your tag team partner.

Why drag some innocent, upstanding republican into this? My vote is for an oil wrestling match with Barney Frank.

John McCain, age 75, or if you would prefer someone closer to home, the recently politically retired (term limit) Faye B. Culp, age 72.

I actually like Barney Frank; I don’t think I could work up the hate for him and this has to be a hate match.

If you can set the match, either will do and we’ll split the take but Sarah Palin cannot be a part of the fight.

So you want to kill someone who disagrees with your politics?


McCain could take him with one arm tied behind his back.

I met McCain a few weeks ago. He’d kick my ass and I’m 38 and in good shape.

I kind of admire McCain as a person and would have voted for him but for his VP pick. I think his timing belt spun a few cogs on that one. But i doubt he could take me with one hand tied behind his back.

Can you not take a joke?


There’s always one, Louis. Fuhgeddaboutit.

Of course he can’t – he’s a pubbie.

That was my take on the matter but I thought I’d give him a chance at a breakthrough.

This thread made me giggle!

How about Joe Arpaio? I’d pay to see that.

What, you don’t settle your political difference through slug fests? That’s how we do it up here in Kanukistan, and it works quite well.

Why for example, just three months ago, Liberal party leadership contender Member of Parliament Justin Trudeau (of Parliament’s House of Commons), son of the late long-time Prime Minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau, duked it out under Ontario Boxing Association rules against Conservative party Senator, past National Chief, warrior/soldier and black belt karate holder Patrick Brazeau (of Parliament’s Senate).

Of course the Liberal Trudeau won, despite being a three to one underdog. It is going to get even more interesting, for Deborah Coyne, the mother of Justin Trudeau’s father’s daughter, is tossing her hat in the ring for the Liberal party leadership bout. I can hardly wait to watch the two step siblings punch each other out to see who gets a shot at the title match (our next general election).