Yes it might make you look a bit needy.
Definitely wait until the following morning.
My wife and I have discussed this. She thinks that she would never want to date again if I died and that I would start dating immediately after her funeral. I think she is correct.
We have a good friend, whose was married for 43 years, and his wife died last year, about 9 months ago, after a long illness with cancer. She may have died 9 months ago physically, but the woman he married has been gone for over two years. It was a sad situation to watch to be honest. I still miss her :(, and I am quite sure he has mentally grieved enough and is ready to move on with his life.
He is dating and I am happy for him. He was worried about ‘what people would say’ and I advised him to do what made him happy. His deceased wife would have wanted him to be happy. I think it is easy to be judgemental about these things, but he isn’t getting any younger and those judgemental people aren’t living his life or even there for him. My advice is screw them!
His main concern was his son (who is 40) and I suggested that if his son has an issue, he should tell the son ‘well I guess you can hang out every weekend with me’ and that would make that problem go away real fast. I can understand his son wanting to preserve the memories of his dad and mom, but meanwhile his dad is in limbo, and the son goes home to his wife and family and leaves dad alone in the house with his memories. Luckily he introduced his son to his new girlfriend last week and I understand it went well, so I am glad for that.
My wife and I (including my daughter) actually discussed this issue, because of the issue of this guys concern with his son. My daughter understands that if something happens to me, or her mom, that the other one will be dating soon. I would want my wife to be happy and with someone if I died, and she feels the same way. And our daughter is on board with that too.
I joke with my wife though that I will try and not bring a date to the funeral.
I told my wife that as a practical matter, she should at least wait until after the trial is concluded; otherwise she’ll be raising questions.
Good responses so far, thanks. But not really what I was looking for - and that’s why I didn’t include a “depends” or “other” option.
Some have said something to the effect of, “who cares what is socially acceptable.” And I agree every situation is different, the grieving process is different for different folks, etc.
I’m not looking for what you would do should you become widowed, but what you would think about someone else - from the outside looking in. In other words, I’m curious about what is considered socially acceptable.
For example, if a widower is seen dating a new woman within 3-5 days of the death of his spouse, one might think that there was a preexisting affair. But if the same man started seeing the same woman 6 months later, fewer might make the same assumption. Just as an example…
Hmmm. My gf had a pretty nasty cold this weekend. I went to the pharmacy to get her some symptomatic relief and found myself flirting with the girl behind the counter.
With that qualification, I think I’d raise an eyebrow at anything less than a month, but after that… well, it’s not how I’d choose to process grief. I’d be out of the dating scene for a very long time, and not really certain I’d ever get back in. But everyone handles these things in their own way and if someone who is mourning wants companionship or sex or whatever as part of that, I’m not going to judge it negatively.
John Edwards, says, why wait til they’re dead.
One of my grandmothers became a widow in 1967 and as far as I know dated one person since then. That was in the late 90’s.
The other became a widow in 1981 and as far as I know has never dated since.
Based on them I’ll say between 30 years and never. 
For me, it was about a year and a half. I got involved with someone at 2 years. That R lasted for 5.5 years before I broke up with him. Looking back, I think I rushed into it. Not that 2 years wasn’t long enough, but that when I met him, I rushed headlong into the R when I should have trod more carefully.
This is my second marriage. been married 23 years.
I have no interest in marrying again.