Today’s amusing news story:
What a perfect name! Oh, the pranks you could pull… 
It’s pronounced “teh-ah-tim-eh”
Hmm, he ought to employ a man I once had work-dealing with - a Mr. Pine-Coffin.
(There was also a mr. Darcy C’Eath.)
How to ruin one’s own post - I mean Mr. Darcy D’Eath.
I would be so tempted to put this on my business card if I were Mr. Roth.
Wouldn’t that be a great name for an attorney. Hell, he’d make partner his first year just so it could be Jones, Smith and Death.
I’m picturing Little Donny Death in high school, thinking, “Hmmm, go into the cemetery business or become a doctor? Which would be funnier?”
Of course being Death Junior has got to be a drag.
OOOohhhh! It’s Death Junior! I’m soooooo scared!
He really should have gone into bill collecting.
If Death is found guilty, I wonder what kind of penalty he’ll get?
Unless he gets an ironic judge who insists on giving him the Death Penalty.
Beaten to the punchline once again.
Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Thief and Liar, for thou art so,
For those whom thou think’st thou dost put on the dental plan,
Steal not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou embezzle me.
From second and third-degree, which are thy charges of larceny,
Much pleasure: then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest to prison doth thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and up to fifteen years delivery.
Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and the district attorney,
And dost in prison and sickness dwell;
And sloppy bookkeeping can convict us as well
And better than thy not guilty plea; why swell’st thou then?
Because of thy past, ye wake eternally,
And that $300,000 shall be no more; Death, thou shalt be convicted.
– John Donne (with a little help from yours truly)
Perhaps Death will take a holiday.
At the Grey Bar Hilton.
Lo, I have become Death, absconder of funds.
Just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Cop wearing wire: “O death, where is thy sting operation?”
He should have gotten a medical degree… then he could have his choice of careers: physician, pro wrestler or evil villian. Still, it’s got to be fun to answer the phone at a funeral home, ‘Death speaking’.
And can you imagine if he had really poor circulation?
Out on a date a girl might feel the icy hand of Death upon her.