Oh…wow. I love it. That is the funniest urban legend ever told. It is truly high-larious.
From the “I cried because I had no shoes, then met a man who had no feet” file, I’ve never been able to wear contacts. 30 years in glasses and counting. 
That doesn’t seem likely.
I’m not dead.
But the network dudes at work finally got around to fixing the firewall… not only is stuff slower than ever, but half of us can’t access our personal email addresses (which, being self-employed, are our business addresses), any webform goes blank, and I can’t Dope. twitch Oh yeah, and the internal workers have been told they’re not allowed to use the share-your-screen program we got them; IT’s response to “what program should we use when we’re providing remote assistance?” has so far been “they’re not allowed to use That One! Or This One! Or This Other One!” OK, but what are they allowed to use? I swear, the only reason people in this company are allowed the use of toilet paper is that nobody has thought of banning it.
Marca is fine, though. So are betting websites :rolleyes:
And now my rant - I opened my garage door to go somewhere, and while I was putting some stuff in my car, my neighbour’s dog came running up to me in my garage (my neighbour was with the dog, with the leash in her hand, but not on the dog). I asked her politely to please get her dog away from me, and her response was, “He’s just a puppy - he won’t hurt you.”
- He’s a full-grown lab - he might still be young, but he’s a big dog.
- All dogs must be on leashes outside of your fenced yard at all times, except in specifically marked off-leash areas.
- The response when your dog rushes at a neighbour in her own garage is not to say that the dog won’t hurt them - it is to apologize, take your dog and put the leash on like it was supposed to be in the first place, and smarten up and quit taking your dog out without being on a leash.
I’ve seen these people walking their dog around the neighbourhood off-leash before; this weekend, they were cleaning the snow off their sidewalk with the dog off-leash with them. The dog ran up to me then, too - these people are going to have a big problem if they aren’t more careful with this large dog.
Dear Sweet Baby Girl,
Please do not spill cereal all over the floor, take your diaper off and pee on the cereal. Please do not walk over to the sleeping cat, yank a hank of his fur out and then attempt to drag him by the ear. Please do not switch Sesame Street to the playboy channel. Please do not attempt to dump my laptop into the toilet. Please don’t pull pages out of library books and eat them. Please do not pull my glasses off my face and smear tomato sauce all over the lenses. Please do not shove the baby gate from its hinges, climb the stairs to your sister’s room and then start tossing the items in her room down the stairs.
Please take a nap.
Love,
Your Exhausted Mommy
Sweet Jumpin Jesus.
I don’t care how sweet your dog is or how close a neighbor you are. If your dog appears to be aggressively charging me while I’m in my garage, I’m going to be grabbing whatever tools are closest at hand and doing whatever I feel the need to do to protect myself, up to and including killing your dog (admittedly that last part would only happen if snarling growling lassie appears to be intent on harming me, in which I’m going to make damn sure she never gets a chance!)
Oh god, how old is she? I suspect this is my future!
Yesterday’s rant: Am I the only one who noticed that you can’t see for more than a block in this fog? Put your damn lights on!!
Today’s rant: There has been a house we like on the market for over 6 months. We finally got all of our stuff together and put in an offer on it yesterday. Hooray!! Today the realtor calls and says there is another offer. So we upped ours by $2000. By the end of the week we will find out who won. I have such great luck. :mad:
[quote=“Jenaroph, post:99, topic:642652”]
Dear lord, somebody on my Facebook feed posted an urban legend I’d never heard before - that cut onions will somehow absorb all the flu virus out of a room. Also, since onions are so good at absorbing viruses and bacteria, you should never eat a cut onion more than a couple of hours old - they’re now POISONOUS and will make you sick!
Apparently this one predates germ theory, so I can fathom people putting their faith in it, say, 200 years ago, and old habits die hard. QUOTE]
Wait until somebody tells you to put your child to bed with wet socks on, to treat measles or something like that. I’ve forgotten exactly what it’s supposed to do, but people believe in it implicitly. There’s a lot of crazy out there. Be prepared.
Ask them why it’s legal for sandwich places, salad bars, etc., to leave cut onions just laying around out in the open if this is the case.
The only thing I can possibly think of for that onion legend is that onions (and garlic, and other alliums) possess some antibiotic properties. Then again, anyone who believes a cut onion can “draw” viruses and bacteria off doorknobs across the room probably doesn’t know what the word allium means, so …
To be fair, Sesame Street is pretty boring.
Nineteen months.
She took her nap about five seconds after I wrote that rant. But she’s awake again so I sense trouble.
Since this is the pit, please go fuck yourself temporary supervisor. I do not appreciate or need a five minute smug and condescending lecture because I made a single stupid mistake today. Overpaid bitch. She’s all aglow because I made a mistake and she can now justify her otherwise completely useless job.
Ha, got that one covered - I’m never having kids.
This story apparently goes back to the Black Plague or even earlier - when disease was thought to be caused by “miasma” in the air; given the pervasive odor of onions it might make some rudimentary sense to fight miasma with miasma - long before science was even a method. I think the fact that onions have actual antibiotic properties is entirely coincidental to the myth.
These days there’s no excuse for giving this kind of thing any credence whatsoever.
Perhaps that explains why wearing an onion on your belt was the style at the time!
I was wonderin’ when that ^ would be pointed out. 
I vacuumed the whole house today. When I was heating up some leftovers, I noticed some parts of the kitchen already looked like I didn’t vacuum at all. Are my socks shedding? There was only one other person here all day. It shouldn’t get dirty again so fucking fast. Fucking dirt.
Also, my stepbrother has turned out to be a bit of a douchebag. He has almost the whole family pissed off at him. I hate to say it, but I’ve known the kid for twelve years, since he was 14 or 15, and I’m not shocked that he did what he did.
Is he the one responsible for inserting cartoon sound effects into the songs on the '60s channel? Driving home today, “Turn! Turn! Turn!” was playing, when all of a sudden SPLOIT. What the hell???
No, that is the other annoying DJ on the sixties channel. I can’t remember his name. I don’t want to remember his name, because he is such an ass. Between Cousin Brucie and that guy, my husband and I almost never listen to the '60s, even though, as folks in our fifties, that is the era we most enjoy when we’re in the mood for oldies.
That hearing was a critical mass of anti-vaccine stupid. Blaxill? Really? FO, Dan Burton. You’re retiring, go away already. And Issa, you need to just FO as well. And finally, Age of Autism, you need to DIAF.
This is the latest urban legend that’s hitting all the anti-vaccine blogs and pages. It’s why people don’t need the flu shot.
:mad:
I’m so sorry. I lol’d. Please don’t be mad 