Darn, this is the one I was going to post.
The was an old Fox Trot cartoon where Peter is reading a math quiz that says something like:
If a class of 40 students take a test and 12 of them get an F, what percent weren’t paying attention in class?
As he finishes reading the teacher says “I see about 30% of you seem to be having trouble with the first problem.”
Uhh are they filled with Brawndo?
I like money
(Darnit, you stole my response!)
Paperclips cost .05 cents each. How much do 1000 paperclips cost?
Take four 9’s; 9-9-9-9; and put them in a mathematical equation to equal 100. There are 2 answers that I know of.
ceil(sqrt(9999))
99 - floor(sin(99))
(9 + floor(sqrt(sqrt(9)))(9 + floor(sqrt(sqrt(9)))
ceil(tan(99)*(tan(tan(tan(tan(tan(tan(tan(9))))))) - sqrt(9)))
What :)?
99+(9/9)
Very good, still one more answer.
None of these are equations: I don’t see a single = anywhere.
He meant expressions. I see the mistake often enough that I hardly distinguish between the two terms anymore.
(9/9) + 99 = 100
:d
A bus driver starts out his day on his route.
On his first stop he picks up 2 passengers. On his second stop he drops off one, picks up 5. On the next he drops off 3, and picks up 8. Next, he picks up 12, and drops off 4. Then he picks up 10 and drops off 9. Next, he picks up 12, and drops off 2, then he picks up 5 and drops off 4. Finally, he picks up 8 and drops off 9.
How many stops did he make?
I also like the George Carlin line: "If I ask you, ’ a penny for your thoughts’, and you throw in your two cents, what happens to the other penny?
Normal phase had it right also, you just added an = sign.
The other answer is;
99 divided by **.**99 = 100
A plane takes from Paris, flies over England, Ireland, Iceland, and Canada and crashes in Memphis. Where do they bury the survivors?
You don’t bury survivors
A train leaves new york city at 7 AM eastern time. A train leaves Los Angeles at 5 PM pacific time same day. The NY train is travelling at 100 miles an hour. The LA train is travelling at 150 miles an hour. Assuming the tracks run side by side as not to collide, when they meet, which train is farthest from NY city.
Let’s stop being stubborn, people. There is no dirt in a hole. It is empty. And furthermore, who said the hole is in the ground? Maybe it’s in a snowbank.
Here, look at it this way: I have a 10 oz. glass that I fill with water. How much water is in the glass? 10 oz. right? Right! Now I dump the water down the sink. How much water is in the glass now? Nothing!
Class dismissed. 
I don’t get it. I mean, it would be tricky to answer because you’d be paying attention to the running count of students, but is there something more subtle than that?
No, I changed the order of division and addition signs 
The one coming from LA. Most people will define “meet” as when the front of the front carriages pass each other. At that point the LA one will have the entirety of the train behind it, closer to LA.
nope the glass would still be wet, so there will still be a trivial amount of water left in it.