Decorating the tree- Can this marriage be saved?

My husband and I have different ideas about Christmas decorating in general, especially where the tree is concerned. We both have baubles from before we were married, and all I can say about his is… “OHMYGODTHOSEARESOTACKY!!!” Not only that, we don’t call them the same things. I call them “baubles”, he calls them “ornaments”. All of mine are made of glass. All of his are plastic.

 There is one,  ONE, string of lights on the tree.  Please.  We have a 6-ft tree, which needs at least 2 strings of lights.  And he doesn't like for them to blink.  NO BLINKING LIGHTS?  Hmmmmmph.  He has a tree topper that is a red and silver foil star that looks like he bought it at Eckerd's in 1975.  I have a nice hand-blown glass star that he thinks is "too fancy".  We have decided to alternate years, but we never can remember which one we used the previous year.  

 And the tree skirt?  It's supposed to COVER UP the ugly plastic tree holder.  But no, he thinks the skirt is tacky and doesn't use one.   

 The one thing we do agree on is that we want, but can't have, icicles.  Two cats, one dog, no icicles.  And we had to spray the tree and presents with bitter apple so Auggie, The Cutest Dog on the Planet (TM), won't eat them.

 In the grand scheme of things, I guess this is trivial.  But it the CHRISTMAS TREE, dammit!!

Other things you’ve agreed on:

To have a tree.
To celebrate Xmas.
To give presents.
To use 25DEC.

There are far more fundamental cultural and philosophical disconnects available to you beyond how many strings of lights or whether you have a tree skirt.

It’s also possible his cheap crappy ornaments (esp. tree topper) have a sentimental value which he doesn’t feel like articulating to you with your store bought fancy-pants “baubles”.

Get a second tree.

Get two. Side by side. Or write down who used what this year.

At least my husband’s ornaments weren’t tacky, though. Nothing worse than tacky ornaments.

You have my deepest sympathies.

(BTW how many years has this been going on?)

10etc… Yes, I know, which is why I concede that this is trivial, in the grand scheme of things…

 **Daisy**. we've been married for 6 years.  I guess this wasn't as lighthearted as I intended...

My mother’s and living grandfather’s trees have everything from antique, heirloom, German, handblown, glass ornaments to that crappy stuff we made in first grade out of construction paper. Trust me, there’s room for both.

I just spoke with my mother to find that her tree is currently sporting 650 ornaments and just over 4,500 lights - and we’re talking an average sized artificial tree here.

I’d say go ahead and use both.

4500 lights? Pfft, I know my family has well over 10,000 lights… most of them are broken though.

My wife and I both think it would be fun to decorate a tree with these, so I’m not sure I can help you craft a compromise. :wink:

You think his decoration is awful but then you want blinking lights??
::Shudder:: Blinking lights are horrible,horrible (and for good measure: horrible) , please tell me that at least they are white and not colored red and yellow.

I’m also a fan of the both. A Christmas tree is not a decorative object. When I see one of those perfect trees that are decorated with all one color or with just one type of ornament, or a “traditional” looking tree that’s obviously full of brand-new gingerbread men and stuff, I just want to weep. Instead, gimme a tree full of crazy mismatched ornaments, the more clashing colors the better, some of them broken and glued back together, some of them held on by bent paperclips instead of proper ornament hooks, three different kinds of lights, and everything else you can pile on. A tree should be a symbol of family and hope and all that good stuff, not an opportunity to beautify your home.

Katie –

If you’re fighting over the Christmas tree, the marriage truly can not be saved.

Here are other issues which will dash this fragile union:

  • some day you’ll try hanging wallpaper together, then discover that neither can agree on a vertical line nor where patterns match
  • whether or not Christmas presents from in-laws are funny or insulting
  • when offspring arrive: the philosophy of Santa – myth or reality
  • what to do when the teenager says, “I want to explore Buddhism.”
  • whose parents get the baby’s first Christmas?

Best regards,

Holiday-challenged

Yeah, a tree should not match or be color-coordinated unless it’s in a magazine. Real Christmas trees have tacky ornaments right next to the pretty ones. You can buy more lights pretty cheaply (but they should not blink. eek.), so go out to the hardware store.

Fah, that just scratches the surface of tacky. While stationed in Germany I decided to keep my tree up year round and decorate for whatever holiday was coming up.

New Year’s Eve - beer cans and a little top hat tree topper.
Elvis’s brithday - sideburns and pompadour wig.
Valentines Day - hearts and arrows.
President’s Day - paper currency.
St. Patrick’s Day - shamrocks and beer cans.
April Fool’s Day - pink flamingoes and lawn gnomes.
Easter - plastic eggs and choco bunnies.
Mother’s Day - flowers and dirty dishes.
Father’s Day - ties and plastic toy yard/gardening implements.
July 4th - strings of firecrackers and flags
Halloween - painted the tree black, decorated with pumpkins, ghosts, and black cats.
Thanksgiving - turkey feathers and footballs.
Dec. 10th - destroyed tree and bought a new one.

You complain about his tacky plastic ornaments, yet insist on something as grotesque, irritating and mind bendingly classless as blinking lights. Shudder. You deserve each other.

Two strings of lights? Yeah, at least, sweetie. We have a six-footer, too, and we have SIX strings of fifty. Yep, six. The 50s are brighter (IMO) than the 100s.
You need lots and lots of lights, white only, and yes, NO blinking.

As for ornaments, that’s a free-for-all. We have a few sets of nice glass balls (small gold ones, white with gold sparkles, white with red and green stripes, silver with red snowflakes), a nice crystal set of the Twelve Days of Christmas, my daughter has the collectible Barbies, a bunch of keepsake Hallmark ones to mark special years (the year we got married, Baby’s First Christmas, stuff like that), I have all the “tacky” stuff my kids have made over the years, I even have some of the things I made that my mom has given to me, we have a plastic Ravens helmet, a plastic basball with the Orioles bird on it, a ceramic crab, plus ornaments from every place we’ve ever been to on vacation.
I have about 15 cardinal ornaments, just because I like them. We have a bunch of firefighter ornaments and Santa-as-a-firefighter ornaments, because my husband is a firefighter and people give them to him every year.
I teach nursery school, and get lots of Teacher and Apple ornaments every year. They’re all on the tree.
It’s a mishmash!

I have lights that blink in time with the cheezy carols THAT THEY PLAY!! Musical Blinky Lights!! Bwahahaha!

And Hubby likes to have bubbler lights so ours is just tacky central!!

Decorate or redecorate the tree yourself to your own tastes. An important part of early wifehood is to convince the husband that he has no taste (fortunately this is likely to be true) by constantly demonstrating better taste. My wife would suggest things to me; colour schemes, decorating ideas, furniture layouts that I would quibble about. At some point in time she stopped asking and just started telling me what we were doing. After a few goes at this it became obvious to me that my contributions had a net negative effect and her way was simply better.

Yes I would decorate the tree with the same crap your husband wants to use unless gently led to a life less tacky. Good luck.

I’m with your husband on the lights issue. Blinking lights? Only in Vegas, hon.

Tree skirts are okay but only the really expensive, beautiful ones. The $10 ones at Wal Mart suck.

bitter apple

Band name?

I prefer to ignore the fact that my little kitty takes the ornaments off our tree. However…

My husband has ordered a $60 device that beeps and sprays air to scare the cats off. He has also removed all ornaments from the bottom half of the tree (it’s only the upstairs tree that we’re talking of, kitty likes to pull the satin ornaments off and chase them down the stairs. He also killed a few breakable ornaments…but he’s so cute!).

My prediction:

Evil spraycan: 0
Clever kitty: 1