Decorative soaps and sundries

Well, you’re not really pitting decorative soap and towels, you’re pitting people who have decorative soap and towels that they won’t let you use, right?

I have pretty soap and pretty towels that match my bathrooms, but I use them and expect my guests to use them too. In fact, when I have guests, I make sure at least one of the fancy soaps looks used and crush one of the clean guest towels just a bit so they look usable too.

Well, I appreciate that having a pretty bathroom is good. But even more so than the kitchen, you have to consider what will look good after it’s been used. Eg. Soap that’s scented, or translucent, ok. Soap carved into a shape, a bit dimmer. If you want to make people think your towels are permanently clean, have a clean normal towel for guests, and hide yours in a cupboard. Or wash your towels regularly! Don’t have a FAKE towel. Who does this, anyway?

My aunt has a poster of a dada exibit featuring someone pissing up in her bathroom.

I love my aunt.

Shade: Don’t have a FAKE towel. Who does this, anyway?

Probably the same people who think that you’re not supposed to eat the decorative parsley bits or radish roses on a serving platter. Honey, if it’s edible and it’s on a plate with food served to be eaten, you’re allowed to eat it. That’s etiquette, too.

In fact, we could have a whole series of Stunningly Obvious But Nonetheless Widely Misunderstood Etiquette Rules About Decorative Objects:

  1. If it’s made out of soap and placed on the edge of a bathroom sink, it can be used as soap.

  2. If it’s made out of non-waterproof fabric or paper in the form of a towel and placed on a bathroom towel rack, it can be used as a towel.

  3. If it’s made out of food and placed on a food platter, it can be eaten as food.

My mother has had decorative soap, but she always puts them out of the way of the sink. On the sink/counter, there will be a bottle of liquid soap and a hand towel hanging on the rack. Then, on the shelf on the opposite wall, she’ll have a jar with seashells, and a basket with some frilly towels and some fancy soap.

Is that okay?

I think people differing as to the edibility of parsely creates that confusion :slight_smile:

Well, my bathroom and vanity area (the toilet and bathtub are in a seperate room from the sink) are decorated quite nicely. I spend a lot of time at home and like to have things that look nice, even if I didn’t actually pay much at all for them (I got my swanky $75 shower curtain on clearance for $10, etc.) Most of my decorations are vintage-style, those retro liquor and clothing advertisements, art deco and art nouveau type stuff and I have a small Guinness bar mirror. I did have some decorative soaps that looked like gemstones that sat in a wine glass, but I got rid of them because when I moved to my new place I didn’t have as much room or a place to put it. I only own about three big towels and two hand towels and a couple of washclothes, and none of them are fancy. Just a light mocha colour. Simple and elegant. :stuck_out_tongue:

Guests are welcome to use anything they need in my washroom, except my toothbrush, my makeup, and please stay out of the expensive perfume I got for Christmas, because it’s probably the only bottle I’ll have for the next few years, mmm’kay?

I think you guys lie about your disinterest in decorating, too. I had to practically kick a pizza guy out because he just seemed to want to stare in the doorway and look over all my stuff while talking about what a nice place I had (have a lot of nice wall art I made/framed for myself while I worked in a frame shop). And my ex-roommate started whining he missed my matching dishes and glasses and curtains after we parted ways, and took me on a shopping trip to pick out living room stuff for his new place. :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

I’ve started using liquid soap in the bathroom. First, you don’t make as much of a mess with it, so people aren’t afraid to use it.

Second, I have fewer soap slivers laying around. My husband won’t use a skinny soap wafer, but he won’t throw them out either. They attach themselves to the bottom of the new soap bar, but not permanently, so it comes off and must be searched for in the tub.

Re: decorative towels? My co-worker’s guest (in college) didn’t see any toilet paper or towels in the bathroom so he used the shower curtain. :eek:

Guin: On the sink/counter, there will be a bottle of liquid soap and a hand towel hanging on the rack. Then, on the shelf on the opposite wall, she’ll have a jar with seashells, and a basket with some frilly towels and some fancy soap.
Is that okay?

Sorry, not really. True thoughtfulness is not expressed by decorating your bathroom with soap and towels that look like soap and towels, that are constructed of the same materials as soap and towels, and that are physically accessible like soap and towels—and then expecting your guests not to use them as soap and towels.

Even if the “real” soap and towels look more accessible and more useful, as you describe them, it’s still fairly easy for someone to mistake the fancy stuff for actual soap and towels. Especially since, as many posters here have noted, a lot of other people’s bathrooms have fancy soap and towels that are actually meant to be used.

Another aspect of this practice that makes it contrary to etiquette, although this is getting kind of subtle, is the “too good for you” connotation. Gracious hospitality is supposed to imply that the members of the household are eagerly providing the best they have for the enjoyment of their honored guests. Reserving better-quality things for the use of the residents and offering guests only the second best is an inhospitable rudeness. (Of course, the good stuff that you hide away out of sight doesn’t count!) Polite people may never suggest that the things they enjoy are too good for their guests.

Decorative soaps and towels that are obviously finer and fancier than the usable ones seem to insinuate “The fancy stuff’s too good for you, use the ordinary ones.” Yes, I know that the residents aren’t actually daring to use the fancy soap and towels either, but they still carry that unpleasant “too good for you, don’t touch” aura. They hint of cheap, pretentious hosts who want to have the appearance of graciousness by offering elegant things for the use of their guests, but don’t want to incur the trouble and expense of having to clean or replace them when the guests actually use them.

Yes yes, I’m sure your mom’s not at all like that sort of person. So why would she want to follow a silly custom that subtly hints that she is? As the OP suggests, if you just want to make your bathroom look pretty, why not just put some pretty stuff in it that isn’t soap and towels? Then nobody will be confused or feel subtly disparaged, and they’ll probably enjoy looking at the pretty stuff too.

Hahaha, yes, I’ve commited the faux pas of using decorative soap and towel twice in my life. The first time, I opened the door before washing my hands. (I was a kid at the time. Now I’d wash before touching anything else.) The host ‘caught’ me as I wiped my hands on the towel and pushed me out of the room, hollering “no! no! no!” and hurriedly fixing the towel I had mussed up. The second time, I was sat down and politely told afterwards that I had wrecked the decorative soap and now the towel had to be washed. “Please don’t do that again”…

:rolleyes:

I’ve been in homes where only pristine decorative soap and towels are in evidence. Never been used. What the hell is that about? I used to ask permission, but now I just use it anyway and damn the consequences! (I’m a brave warrior, no?) Maybe they don’t wash their hands in the bathroom, but truly, do they expect guests to not wash up? I reason it must be there for guest use and I’m the first guest who wanted to wash up. Haven’t been chased out of any washrooms lately, so…

I’m on a email list for people who make homemade soap - and a common complaint is that some people won’t use the soap! “But it’s too pretty to use!”

Susan

Great OP.

I always use the decorative hand towels. I kind of assume that’s what they’re there for, and it’s not like wiping your clean hands on them does anything bad.

Decorative soap is a little weird, but I don’t have a problem with it if it’s in a basket on the back of the toilet or something. It’s only bad if it’s right next to the sink. If people want soap that fits with the theme of their bathroom decorations, why not just buy a nice soap dispenser? Perhaps even one with a matching tissue box cover? It looks better anyway, and I bet it ends up being cheaper than replacing the uber-expensive molded soaps.

Ah, an excellent opportunity to ask if there is any solution to my dilemma.

Recently mother-in-law got me some decorative soap. It’s currently stashed in the closet, but I would like to display it because:

  1. It is kinda pretty.
  2. It matches the theme of my bathroom.
  3. It was a gift, and I’m sure that my MIL would be pleased to see it.

On the other hand, I also agree that it’s rude to put out soap that guests aren’t allowed to use. I think Kimstu’s right on the money with the too-good-for-you objection. I would just put it out for guests to use (slightly pre-used, to show that it’s fair game) but it doesn’t look like it was ever meant to be used as soap. It’s painted to look like it’s guilded, and I really can’t imagine what would happen if you got it wet and rubbed it. And, merciful heavens, it just occurred to me that my MIL might be offended if I “ruined” it by letting people use it.

Any suggestions?

Whoa whoa whoa, back up the truck, beep beep beep.

How are you suppossed to know it’s a cherished item of clothing and not a rag? Here’s a hint…it’s in the hamper! Why would I puit a rag in the hamper? I put things in the hamper that I want to be washer so I can wear them again (well, I would do that if I had a hamper, as it stands, I just have a laundru basket on the floor.) I would think that it’s assuemd that clothes in hamper = clothes to be washed. Why would you think otherwise? And we don’t get it framed/bronzed because we like wearing it!

“I wore this shirt every Sunday during the Dolphins undefeated season.”

We still wear them because that’s how we honor it! Clothes are meant to be worn. By not wearing it, we are telling the shirt it no longer has ap lace in our lives, that it is worthless, and, as you put it, a disgusting rag.

I refuse to do that to an innocent shirt who has always stuck by me! He never broke my heart! He never lied to me! He’s always there, like a best friend, waiting for me to put him on and revel in his comfort.

Well, I say never, under any circumstances, put it on display and expect it not to be used. Soap is there to wash with. So, regardless of what you do (use it yourself, keep in in storage forever, throw it away,) use this lock-solid lie:

If MIL ever comes to visit and asks about said soap, just say that you had it on display, but then some rude, uneducated buffon of a guest thoguht it was the regular soap and used it! It was ruined forever!

My MIL bought me an ornate Mikasa crystal soap dish complete with little fancy soap for Christmas 2003. It remains unopened. Apparently the woman has never met me in the seven years I’ve been married to Cyros. I suspect it cost a goodly chunk of change too. What a waste.

/Ms. Cyros

Great rant! :smiley: Our entire guest bath is decorative, and is not intended to be used.

Just like those gaoddamned decorative candles.

When I put out decorative soap, I use at least one piece and leave it there slightly worn with use, so guests get the idea. I like buying decorative soap, I want them to use it. Guests have complained there is no soap and then I point them to the decoarative stuff. Some actually used it. But then hubby complained. He is allergic to decorative soap and forgets to just use the liquid soap, so it is back to Ivory bar soap and clear liquid soap.

We use the nice towels that I hang in the bathroom to go with the decor. I make hubby wash them when I remeber to and I replace them when worn. I like buying nice things and they last a reasonable time.

I tried buying paper guest towels for guests so they can have a pristine towel to wipe their hands with, because I understand not wanting to wipe your clean hands on the family towels. I also understand there are people who won’t use guest towel. No one used them. I used one and left it in the otherwise clean waste paper basket. No one used them, or from the appearances the family towel.

Only if your guests haven’t seen Demolition Man. :smiley: