Defeat me or admit my superiority

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

In my egomaniacal quest for total domination I have sert out to make onto myself an Uberman. Long hours I have spent training in both mind and body in my secret lab until I stand above the rest of Homosapiens as the tiger stands above the amoeba.

This Saturday I intend to prove both my mental and physical superiority in terms of strength, willpower, stamina, mind over matter, discipline, sheer guts, and tight shorts.

I am running this race.

www.chambersburgrrc.org

I will do so this Saturday, March 16 at 9:30 AM.

I intend to defeat every single one of you.

Doubtless you are already so discouraged that you won’t even bother to show up, in which case you must admit my superiority in all things.

But, in case of any of you do want to show up, I will offer the following prize to anyone who can defeat me:
Hmmm. I don’t really have any prizes handy right now. No matter. It would be impossible to win anyway, so why bother? Very well, anyone who shows up and defeats me will win a token chintzy prize.

This is probably your best chance ever to have a crack at me.

I have been living large over the winter, so to speak. lifting weights and eating far too many blooming onions and Big Macs and lifting weights. I am nearly 20 pounds heavier than I was when I ran that Marathon last October.

I would like to say that that is all muscle, but the truth is more along the lines that my body, in its highly evolved superiority to normal men automatically added a layer of subcutaneous fat (mostly to ass and gut,) in order to maintain body temperature through the cold winter months, and to protect me in case I wished to do any diving in arctic waters.

That, being said I lay down the gauntlet of my challenge.

If you decide to show up and run, doubtless you will wonder how to recognize me.

That’s easy.

I will be the one at the finish line with the victorious look on his face.

2

Why don’t you step over here and say that… I’ll kick your butt!!!
…
…
…
…At Nintendo…

3

Scylla,

I’ve been in training as well, and while I probably wouldn’t be able to beat you, I am now seriously thinking about going to the race to compete before I leave for Tech School.

Wanna dance, old man? :wink:

4

If you’re feeling froggy, then jump.

5

::ribbit, ribbit::

Wanna get together before we run, or should I just wave as I pass you?

:smiley:

It’s on, Scylla.

6

Sure. I can’t help but notice Cajun Man’s warning about meeting real life dopers at the top of the forum, though.

They didn’t happen to write that because of something you did, did they? (just kidding)

The best place to meet is probably at the site. I intend to get there about nineish to stretch and get my number. I registered by mail. Let me check and see if they have my # available on the website.

If not, I’ll post what I’m wearing and see if I can’t figure out the best way to meet.

7

Doorsy, I only took a passing glance at that web-site, but if it’s really a half-marathon, you really might want to rethink that. I mean, you wnt through Air Farce Basic for crimminy!

I’m Army, and at my hight I still could just make it through the two miles we did at a seven-minute-mile.

Dude, 13 miles is a looooong way …

8

Well then, it’s time to put you Army boys in your place. :wink:

I know it’s 13 miles, but us Air Force boys can hack it.

9

Scylla, I ran the 1980 Honolulu marathon three days after my vasectomy, finished in 3:5:20. I am now of course 22 years older but I think I am up to a half marathon.

10

As an ex-Air Force boy myself, I just wanna say:
BWAHA HA HA HA!
I’m gonna have to side with Gorgon Heap on this one. I didn’t take AF Basic Training that seriously while I was in it, and even less so now. Hell, the most they ever made me run was a mile and a half. Granted that was 10 years ago (dammit, 10 years ago! Now I feel old…) but I don’t think they’ve gotten too much more strenuous in my absence.

You’re obviously new to your service, and still filled with that gung-ho pride instilled in you during the brainwashing… er, the basic training. You’ll grow out of it.

This post brought to you by The Air Force - the civilian branch of the military.

And a quick nitpick, totally off subject, feel free to ignore this part,
but since AF guys are known more for brains than brawn, I feel obligated to point out that that should say “*we *Air Force boys…” not “us Air Force boys…” (Take the description “Air Force boys” out and you’ll see that “we” is the subject to the verb “can” and it makes more sense.)

11

I raised a baby in my body, birthed that sucker (admittedly with help) and nursed him for 13 months.

I need run no race to prove that I kick ass, yours included.

12

What Cranky said!

I did that twice. A grand total of 58 hours of back labor.

I laugh at your silly race.

Ha!

Not that you’ll catch me running 13 miles at once and on purpose

13

The mighty amoeba can take down a tiger by giving it a really nasty case of the trots.

Just wanted to say that. That, and “Go Grandad, go!”.
-Rue.

14

Run your piddly race! Win your piddly race!
And then come challenge me to this race where you have to leap over a 12 foot wall to finish!.

http://www.intramurals.ubc.ca/events/storm/

I’ll compete in the solo category against any team you can throw together!

15

I’d do that in a heartbeat, Barbarian, but I’m just a little bit too far away.

I eventually aim to do some baby triathlons, so all this stuff appeals to me. It must be the testosterone.

16

Spritle, who would post more but he’s curled up fetal on the floor, winceing

17

Gentlemen, gentlemen, while I have every confidence in ADs ability given that AF Basic is a hell of a lot harder than it used to be, I think you should come challenge me at my little biathalon.

Running “and” Shooting

Come run my tactical course 6 times… we’ll see how tough you are. :slight_smile:

18

Hey, Scylla, buddy! There’s a spot on your necktie!

Right…about…there…

{plinks your nose}

[sub]Sorry, couldn’t resist[/sub]

19

13 mile marathons? BAH

Child’s play compared to what I do every day at work. I’ll make you a deal. You try being an RN for 13 hours and compare that to a nice leisurely trot in the park and I guarantee that you will choose the latter every time.

20

Oh yeah guys, give us only a few days to train. Well I’m gonna give you guys a month to prepair for the Colonies swim meet I’ll be swimming in 4 events, the 50, 100, and 200 free plus the 100 IM. So anyone who wants to eat my wake is more than welcome to. :smiley:

Actually is anyone planning on attending this meet? Might be fun to get together afterwards.