Defend marriage! ONE MAN - ONE WOMAN

[Illuminatiprimus]

@Natty_Bumppo

Now you’re just being mean 'cause you know Grandma is a senior citizen. Get rid of the age thing, and I think we’re good. She’ll probably be dead before the kid comes to term, but it’s the thought that counts. Besides, we love each other.

You know you’re making god cry with this kind of talk, don’t you?

[Annie-Xmas]

@Hampshire

Rules for marriage in America:

-Must be one man, one woman.
-Age difference of no greater than 5 years, woman can not be older than the man.
-Must be married before man reaches age of 30.
-Must have at least 2 children (one of each sex preferable) before woman reaches age of 30. No “only childs” allowed.
-No interracial marriages allowed.
-Woman not allowed to work outside home once married.
-Children not allowed to attend daycare, must be raised in-home.
-No families allowed to live in apartments. Must have a house.
-Family must belong to and attend a Christian church. Atheists, agnostics, or any other non-christian religion is not allowed.
-Divorce allowed only if couple has not had children yet. Once divorced neither person allowed to re-marry ever again.

signed-
American Family Association
(because we know whats good for everyone)

You forgot one
-If either party in the marraige dies, the remaining party must marry another widow(er) within three months and have children with them within a year.

[Illuminatiprimus]

@Annie-Xmas

You forgot one
-If either party in the marraige dies, the remaining party must marry another widow(er) within three months and have children with them within a year.

No no no no no no no no no - if either party dies the other must kill themselves.

[Natty_Bumppo]

@Illuminatiprimus

You know you’re making god cry with this kind of talk, don’t you?

Tears of joy, my friend. You have any idea how old God is?

@Illuminatiprimus

No no no no no no no no no - if either party dies the other must kill themselves.

Can we get a 40 year grace period on that? I was planning to move to Oregon when I turn 80.

[Sunspace]

@Euphonious_Polemic

I just find it so sad that immediately after same-sex marriage was deemed to be legal in Canada, all of the hetero marriages stopped being meaningful, and our society collapsed.

I mean, after those Godless gay people were given the same rights as the rest of us “normal” people, I turned to my wife and said, “honey, I guess it’s over between us now.” She agreed that our marriage was, as of that point, merely a cheap sham.

How cruel of those gays to destroy us in that way!

Yes, I well remember the headline in the Globe and Mail on the day it happened: MARRIAGE MEANINGLESS. Since then, darkness has fallen over Canada, and we eke out a precarious life gnawing ice-covered bones as we scuttle from cave to cave.

@Kevbo

Saying that allowing homo marraige degrades hetero marraige is like saying that allowing me to ride my motorcycle makes your car slower. 

But it does. As you pursue your unnatural lane-splitting ways, you distract the rest of us, and we have to pay extra attention to you lest we have a wreck.

[j666]

@Cheesesteak

Except that you riding your motorcycle actually does impact car drivers in some, admittedly miniscule, way. Gay marriage has, as far as I can tell, exactly zero impact on straight marriages.

To put it another way, if California declared motorcycles illegal, I’d bet that drivers would notice. I defy any married person to tell me how they personally noticed a change in their lives thanks to gay marriages being declared illegal.

Look, I already have enough trouble keeping my property up to my neighbors’ standards.

If half can perfectly refinish their older houses (with hand tools and scrap lumber no less) and the other half have perfectly decorated homes, and all have perfectly environmentally positive landscaping, what am*** I*** going to do?

[Sunspace]

@j666

Look, I already have enough trouble keeping my property up to my neighbors’ standards.

If half can perfectly refinish their older houses (with hand tools and scrap lumber no less) and the other half have perfectly decorated homes, and all have perfectly environmentally positive landscaping, what am*** I*** going to do?

Move to Canada. We have plenty of cave space.

[Creaky]

Heh, heh.

That “One man, one woman” bit cracks me up. I am guessing that the OP was joshing.

I think that a kid having two mommies is just fine, seriously. Even better if they can be legally married.

[newcrasher]

Keith Olbermann speaks.

What is it to you?

[Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension]

@Sunspace

Move to Canada. We have plenty of cave space.

Grr. Cave tiny. Same sex married couples get gooder caves under socialist overlords.

[glee]

All this talk of ‘one man + one woman’ and making divorce harder completely misses the point.

1. Marriage should only be allowed in a proper (i.e. Protestant) Church.
2. Both parties must declare in front of the congregation that they believe in Creationism.
3. They must forever swear to renounce Satan, Socialism and Evolution.
4. Both parties must have the same skin colour.

:smack::eek::rolleyes:

[Illuminatiprimus]

@glee

3. They must forever swear to renounce Satan

I’m out.

[Roadfood]

@Kevbo

Saying that allowing homo marraige degrades hetero marraige is like saying that allowing me to ride my motorcycle makes your car slower.

A number of posters have shown this to be not a particularly good analogy.

How about: Saying that allowing homosexual marriage degrades heterosexual marriage is like saying that seeing a gay man wearing a blue shirt makes all of your blue shirts less valuable.

[newcrasher]

@Roadfood

A number of posters have shown this to be not a particularly good analogy.

How about: Saying that allowing homosexual marriage degrades heterosexual marriage is like saying that seeing a gay man wearing a blue shirt makes all of your blue shirts less valuable.

Actually it is a fabulous gabardine teal pullover.

[jellyblue]

@newcrasher

After you have been unfaithful over and over?

It’s not so much my, er, personal hobbies as it is the good voters of the state of California rendering my marriage tenuous, at best.

[jellyblue]

@newcrasher

Actually it is a fabulous gabardine teal pullover.

[Illuminatiprimus]

@newcrasher

Actually it is a fabulous gabardine teal pullover.

That’s not teal, it’s cerulean. Spot the straight guy…

[tdn]

@begbert2

Well, step one, you pretend to the best of you ability that civil marriages or marriages in a different religion or sect simply don’t ever happen - you imagine that everybody you know who is married got their marriage at your church sect.

So let me get this straight. You’re saying that the only valid marriages are same-sects marriages?