Define Honor

It was the adultery threads that got me thinking about this, so rather than hijack, I started this one. I simply want to know how each of us defines “Honor.” For me, it helped to think of trying to describe it to a child; that seems to reduce it to it’s core meaning.

Honor is living a life such that were all your actions to be made public, you would not feel any shame in claiming them as yours, nor need to justify them.

Good definition, Manda JO - you cut pretty much straight to the heart of what I would have said in a much more roundabout manner.

Honor is not pride - that’s knowing what you can do and not being afraid to do it. Neither is it bravery, though honorable people can have both.

Honor almost equates in my mine with ethical behavior, though what’s honorable may not always be ethical. Most of the time the honorable and the ethical will be very close, at least IMO.

As usual, Manda Jo, you’ve cut right to the heart of the issue and expressed things in a beautiful, clear manner. I really think I’d like to meet you one day…you seem so sensible and intelligent (and yet capable of being fun!)

Honor is a code of conduct you accept for yourself, above & beyond what the laws & customs of your society require of you.

To Lucasta, on Going to the Wars

TELL me not, Sweet, I am unkind
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind,
To war and arms I fly.

True, a new mistress now I chase,
The first foe in the field;
And with a stronger faith embrace
A sword, a horse, a shield.

Yet this inconstancy is such
As you too shall adore;
I could not love thee, Dear, so much,
Loved I not Honour more.

“Honor” is typically a degree less desirable than “In Her.”

IMHO

I would amend that to be “were all your actions known to your creator.” Which makes me think "there are many levels to this; the aspect of honor we show to our lovers, our countrys, our faith. I am reminded of the dire choices some great figures have made in wrestiling between two opposing honors; country vs home (Robert E. Lee) Divine vs state (Thomas Beckett):confused:

To me, when I think of honor, what comes quickest to mind is the concept of Truth; never, ever lie. (I am not counting little white lie compliments to people like “Nah, it’s hardly noticeable,” or “but on you, it looks good.”) Nor do I count lying to Nazi prison camp guards and all those special noble uses of the lie. But that aside, never, ever lie. especially to yourself.

If you “give your Word” or promise something, keep your promise

If you take an oath or a vow, keep it.
If you swear before a God or Goddess, imagine that Deity standing right there, listening and looking into your eyes.

I suppose a roster of honor could read a bit like the ten commandments:

Don’t lie about other people
Don’t steal
Don’t kill
Don’t cheat

But it is not just a list of prohibitions. One cannot allow, through inaction, EVIL to flourish.

One aspect of honor that presents itself strongly to me always is to protect the innocent. I do not think that I could live with watching a woman hurt being hurt by a man and not intervening, without pausing to weigh my chances of victory or defeat. Honor is not always logical or self-preserving.

Honor loves something more than itself.

I like this scene from Rob Roy
From the film ROB ROY:
(starring Liam Neeson and Jessica Lange)

“Son: Father, will the MacGregor’s ever be kings again?
ROB ROY: All men with honor are kings - but not all kings have honor.
SON: What is honor?
ROB ROY: Honor is… what no man can give ye, and no one can take away. Honor is a man’s gift to himself.
SON: Do women have it?
ROB ROY: Women are the heart of honor - and we cherish and protect it in them. You must never mistreat a woman, or malign a man. Or stand by and see another do so.
SON: How do you know if you have it?
ROB ROY: Never worry in the getting of it. It grows in ye and speaks to ye. All you need to do is listen.”

I’d have to agree with Mothchunks fully. As I’m not religious, the bit about “I would amend that to be ‘were all your actions known to your creator.’” was a bit sketchy to me at first. Then I realised:If you’re religious, then you can apply “creator” in the deity sense, and if not, you can apply it literally, to your parents. My personal defination is a bit more succinct, however. To quote The Big Lebowski (as I’ve found myself doing more and more these days), “What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski? Is it doing what’s right, no matter the consequences?” Of course, what’s right is a matter of one’s morals and ethics, but I’d say that “doing what’s right, no matter the consequences” is what honor boils down to. And no, it’s not a gender-specific trait.

Good one!

Honor, to me:

Acceptance of Truth
Acting as you Speak
Striving to Improve, and never finishing the task
Believing in the Good in Humanity, and being an example for that goodness

Doing and Believing all of this, not because it is “honorable”, but because it is Right.