Crown Prince, disclaimer noted and understood. For yourself and the mods, I post my answers not for corporate research, but maybe to help trigger some questions/answers for other Dopers here.
Ok, a few questions:
**What version of Firefox did you update from/to? ** I went from FireFox 5.XX (with change) to 6.0.
While your laptop was offline, did you load any files or applications onto it manually, via CD/DVD, USB drive, or otherwise? Is so, what kind? I did not. And I’m not hiding anything either.
My laptop was my ‘morale’ computer which I played music, games, did homework on while I was back at my hooch–I had no connectivity since February, and prior to that point in time, everything was running like a well oiled machine. My internet connection there was a hardline into my LAN port, connected to a commercial satellite system–not WiFi. I have not installed any new applications into it, simply because I didn’t have access to it. I did load Air Force-made products (Flash movies, PowerPoint slideshows and PDF reads) from a CD-ROM onto my computer, but no new applications were installed. They were just “watching movies” or reading files from that disk. I reckoned I could trust the Air Force to produce clean files. All other applications/files/games were either loaded before I lost connectivity, or were produced on that machine afterwards. I can get you specifics on the majority of the programs I use, if need be.
I will point out that as soon as my laptop discovered it had connectivity, Windows almost gasped for fresh air at the number of updates it wanted to download and install. No kidding, I must have downloaded five different packages (including SP1 for Win7) and rebooted the machine as many, if not more, times.
Can you specify which Symantec product? Is it Norton Internet Security, Norton 360, Symantec Endpoint Security, or something else? Also, when was the last update performed to download definitions/signatures? I’m running Symantec Endpoint Protection v11.0.6005.562, with updates downloaded 16 Aug 11. When I got back into connectivity on the 10th, I immediately downloaded the newest definitions and signatures. However, that was also the same time I started having DoS notifications. I do not remember if I had the DoS first and then downloaded the defs/sigs, but I remember trying to download the defs/sigs at first chance.
Have you gone through your security logs to look for more information on the alerts that the Symantec software bleeped? (You’re right, it does sound very scientific) I did try to go through all of my logs, but they were all strangely empty–I may not have been looking in the right places. I have not cleared any logs, so if you can walk me through where to look, I’ll take another gander. And yes, bleeps are very scientific.
Did the alert/logs say that it was blocking an inbound, or an outbound connection? This one I remember: it was blocking an inbound signal.
Is this a personal or work laptop? If work, do you work in an industry where you might conceivably be a target for malicious hackers? i.e., do you work with valuable proprietary information or have high-level systems access at your employer, or are you a high-profile employee (executive, product manager, etc. - basically, do you do anything public on behalf of your company)? This is a personal laptop, that I do mostly personal work on, with the occasional ‘jobby-job’ task I bring home. I am a military member, and do consider myself a target for malicious, Soviet Communist-type hackers. I have access to high-security level information, however, that is on a different network, and must be “air gapped” to other different security networks. Due to policies and restrictions, none of it is ever brought to an unclassified network. Secure information stays secure due to hardware restrictions–it cannot be transferred inadvertently. I am a high-profile employee, and can be found through Google searches. I have many leatherbound books, and my office smells of rich mahogany. In other words . . . I’m kind of a big deal.
Thanks for your help Prince. Wisecracks added at no extra charge. 
Tripler
You stay classy, San Diego.