Densest food?

What is the densest food? Inspired by MTVChallenge show but in GQ because I’m looking for a real life answer. On the show, each team had to eat as much as possible and the team with the greatest increase in weight won. So what would be the best strategy? I’m thinking general water is going to be more dense than most things, but I suppose food with some sort of high mineral content could theoretically weigh more. Putting aside the idea that liquids would be easier to consume quickly, what food is going to weigh you down the most?

It’s got to be something high in protein like steak or cheesecake.

Are you asking what is the densest food per se?
Hard Tack?

Or the food that will cause the most weight gain?
Sugars, starches, and fats.

Aldosterone is a food, right? A little dab of that would sure help pack on that water weight. Of course, if you didn’t kill yourself with the stuff, you’d probably fail the urine test and have to give up your winnings.

My vote would be cheesecake.

I’m looking for density as mass/volume here, not calories. The person is going to eat for a specified time period (although it may be more useful here to change that to person is given a set volume of food and gets to choose which food) and then immediately gets on a scale. I’m not looking for fattening foods lol. Which food of a given volume has the highest mass?

The thing you need to appreciate is that food density usually has more to do with degree of hydration than composition. Water in food is usually excluded/replaced either by air or by fat. Fats are themselves much less dense than water and so reducing hydration via fat will actually decrease the density of food. The same is naturally true of air replacement.

As a result foods like cheesecake and steak are actually fairly low density. Most cheesecake will float in water simply because of the fat content. The same is generally true of steak unless it is a very lean cut. Hardtack also has a fairly low density because the dehydration process simply replaced the water in the dough with air spaces. You can prove this yourself by soaking some hardtack in water. The amount it swells nowhere near equals the amount of water absorbed. IOW 500mL of water added to hardtack doesn’t increase the bread’s volume by 500cc.

The densest normal food I can think of is taffee or hard candy. The sugar itself is denser than water and the addition of a little water fills in any air spaces that would exist in crystalline sugar.

It would be possible to concoct a food with a lot of metal salts that has a higher density, but that’s probably cheating and would almost certainly result in dehydration, diarrhea or both.

An osmium burger I guess. With some iridium fries on the side.

That’s only given the fact that neutronium is instable in gravity fields less than that found in the heart of a collapsed star.

And I’m saying I think a traditional cheesecake would be literally quite heavy/dense. I’m not talking about those wimpy pseudo-cheesecakes with gelatin and junk in them. I’m talking about the three-packages-of-cream-cheese types of cheesecakes.

Then again, as I think my way around my kitchen, I suspect straight molasses might be extremely dense. But I can’t imagine eating lots of it. :eek: Then there’s fruitcake. Definitely denser than water.

[QUOTE=Quiddity Glomfuster]
And I’m saying I think a traditional cheesecake would be literally quite heavy/dense. I’m not talking about those wimpy pseudo-cheesecakes with gelatin and junk in them. I’m talking about the three-packages-of-cream-cheese types of cheesecakes.

[quote]

Cream cheese is largely fat, which is lighter than water.

I’m not sure you’re right about this, but if you are it is because of the water and sugar content of fruit

I think the densest “food” is water with as much salt and sugar as you can stand.

Unless you start talking, say, small pellets of stainless steel. (That would be reasonably safe to ingest, right?)

There are a lot of foods that are denser than salt water: think of all the things that sink to the bottom of a bowl of soup. Based on this density data, I would try thinking of things that will sink in blackstrap molasses. Pure glucose is a little more dense at 1.54 g/cm3; you could make rock candy ‘marbles’ and swallow a whole bunch at one time. Wash 'em down with molasses, honey, or sperm oil.

The density of cornstarch is apparently 1.55 g/cm3, just beating out glucose, but I would worry about intestinal blockage.

If you’re willing to accept a little more risk, try mixing some steel bb’s in with some of these.

Or, apparently, the stomach of a Mercotan.

Willie Wonka Everlasting Gobstopper.

My brother can testify to this, when he dropped one one his foot. :eek:

Great insight! Rock candy washed down with honey may be the way to go. You must be this high to ride.

Of course the densest food is the staple diet of the interplanetary dung beetle: Nibblonian poop.

Easy–the military MRE (Meal, Ready-to-Eat).

I swear those things are packed with a hydraulic press. :smiley:

Probably the densest thing that is safe to eat, and is a component of some foods, is gold – which is added in the form of smal quantitities of gold leaf to some foods.

Add lots of small gold nuggets to the food – and then reclain the gold from the feces to reciver ther cost of buying the gold. However, you might feel a bit uncomfortable carrying, say, 50 kg of gold in your stomacch and intestines.

What a great way to have good, safe fun.

I like the “water” camp. Adding sugar sounds pretty safe, unless you consume sufficient thousands of calories that your insulin can’t keep up with it and you go into diabetic coma. Adding salt sounds more dangerous.

Hard to imagine what could go wrong with a marble swallowing race…

Lead pellets?

For this, I think you’d want water with a bit of salt and a little sugar.