Dépanneur man - A performance piece by scott evil

FYI, dépanneur is what convenience stores are called in Québec.

O depanneur man,

I bring you so much of your business, what with the beer and the cigarettes.

We chat about reality shows. We dish over Big Brother contestants.

You know when my card is swiped, I have the money.

And still, you give me credit when I’m broke. You let me walk out of there with beer, my simply having given you my phone number.

But I pay you every time. Because you trust me, Depanneur man, and I am grateful for that.

Depanneur man - you are my friend. You understand me. You understand my needs. You knew today that I was unhappy. You were compassionate. “What happened?” you asked. “The worst night of my life,” I replied.

Thank you, Depanneur man. Your existence makes my life easier.

  • s.e.


Author, author.

more admiring applause follows

Scott, I’d give you flowers, but I don’t know if you like them or not, so will you settle for my heartfelt admiration?

I wish I was cool enough to know a Depanneur Man. But I’m just some boring Merde-in-a-can. :smiley:
But seriously, it must be nice. My corner grocery store won’t give me credit, unless it’s for the rock, which I never ask for in the first place.

I like flowers. But flowers can’t help me now. Your heartfelt admiration can, however, so bring it on.

Dépanneur man both saves me and enables me. But he understands, which is more than I can say for others.

  • s.e.

Things just got worse.


In the most brotherly and platonic way, of course (he said, watching for pbrtallboy out of the corner of his eye).


Oh, Scott… I’m so sorry…


I sincerely hope things look up for you real soon… if you want to tell us about it, dear, you can. We will be there supporting you all the way!

By the way, is this related to what happened earlier this weekend?

Yes. Completely. I have no idea how I made it into work today.

  • s.e.