It’s important to be able to get in touch with ones emotions and ones thoughts. If one denies reality for oneself then one is lost. So therapy can help with that, if you do not understand from where things come from. Unless its some wacky austrian therapy in which you are feeling depressed because you touched your poo when you were 1 year old.
But after that it’s about solving what happened. And maybe some things aren’t possible to solve. Then you need to decide whether or not it’s still worth living on or not.
Life is shit (at least currently, in 100 years life will probably be good but that will require a lot of medical and neuroscience advances). I admire people who are happy and think life isn’t shit, but for many of us that isn’t the case. I mean what do people expect? We are fragile creatures created by amoral natural selection in a world full of competition and threats. Is life supposed to be fun and safe? Just because people want it to be that way doesn’t make it true.
Well some people either get lucky, are really smooth and perhaps a bit amoral or simply have few demands. They set things up quite well. I’ve met people who are genuinely really bloody content with life. They tend to be people who are concerned with their more immediate surroundings, have a sense of independence in life and few other problems like health.
Many others faking their emotions and suppressing their feelings like the sales industry. These people often think that they are tricking their customers a bit but they are tricking themselves too. The pitches before they go out selling are crazy, manic almost and there’s a corporate culture that reminds one of a sect.
These people tend to satisfy themselves with material wealth. They equalize happiness with progress and there they are. I mean just look at all these self-help gurus telling people to ignore reality and thus change it!
Lose a job? No, YOU gained an opportunity to find a better one.
Lose a girlfriend? No, YOU gained a chance to find a sexier/smarter/funnier one.
Lose your house?! No, YOU gained freedom to settle anywhere.
Then you have people who are partly or fully in denial.
People who will go about things as if nothing happened until they really hit a brick wall.
Most people I think are a little bit sad and a little bit happy and find comfort in the good moments of life while trying not to look at the bad ones.
All of these subgroups tend not to see the greater picture. They are unaware of what disasters could strike and what disasters are indeed striking other people. Terrible diseases, violent crimes, wars and famine are distant to them and so not a factor. When it happens to them they live on hope, whether or not it is empty.
I don’t know about you but I can’t simply live on hope nor do I think that things that have happened should be disregarded as I concentrate on the good things in life.
I think that this mentality is just creating more problems and this is evident in the increase of people drugging themselves down and going to therapy. As they become more and more ignorant of their own feelings for the sake of being able to survive and “continue on” they also create the illusion of that there isn’t many of them and so our ability to recognize and relate to problems is diminished.
“Oh I must be insane, because I am depressed and sad”
“Oh something must be wrong with me, because I lost my job”.
And again instead of acknowledging the problems they only look for a way out and nobody becomes wiser to as why more and more of us need to look for a way out.
I refuse to jump on this. Ill struggle a bit longer and then rather kill myself in recognition to my inability to deal with everything than to ignore it and move on.
Well I don’t want to out myself too much but in general I failed at my very high expectations and the world failed my modest expectations.
I probably could never succeed in my expectations because they were conflicting. Such as material wealth with high moral and ethical standards. Maybe had I invented a very good product that revolutionized the world or filled a gap nobody else saw.
About the world, I feel it is petty and that people in it are defensive and protective of their status, social and financial. This hurts progress for hierarchy brings benefits whom one is not willing to give up even if someone else is more competent to do their job.
Upon the realization that the fictitious speculative economy is many times larger than the real economy I realized the only way to truly succeed was to exploit others or be ten times more effective than those who do.
I never liked the mundane social games that people play. The fake smiles, directed at those they seek to gain an advantage from. Social mannerism* was painfully obvious to me and I always refused to participate. This led to a social situation where I generally was well liked by everyone for my honesty and integrity but rarely formed those crucial personal alliances that are important in my field of study and work.
I’m also a bit lazy and rebellious, in the sense that I do not see purpose of doing things only for the sake that regulation demands it. This has led to some very serious problems in my life.
One could say I refused to play the game anymore. And I shut down my mind and my life.
My only hope now is to find enclaves of real humanity.
I’ll quote from the revolutionary Marcos:
“It is not only in the mountains of southeastern Mexico that neoliberalism is being resisted. In other regions of Mexico, in Latin America, in the United States and in Canada, in the Europe of the Maastricht Treaty, in Africa, in Asia, and in Oceania, pockets of resistance are multiplying. Each has its own history, its specificities, its similarities, its demands, its struggles, its successes. If humanity wants to survive and improve, its only hope resides in these pockets made up of the excluded, the left-for-dead, the ‘disposable.’”
*Perhaps mannerism is the wrong word. Social rules, the social game, “the game” in general, etc.
This is out of line. You know by now to take it to the Pit…so this is a warning for you.
Report insults, please, don’t reply back in kind, it’s against the rules here. This is just a NOTE now, since you’re new and might not have known, but it may be a warning next time like the poster above you received.
I was naive about the world and my abilities to succeed in it and still be happy.
I think that alot of people who are depressed are good people.
Sociopaths lack regret and empathy and so they have a harder time becoming depressed.
I actually don’t just think that medication and endless therapy is bad for the person in general.
I think it’s bad for the world, for it creates a situation where good people can’t relate to each other.
We must start to relate to each others despair, hatred, love and so on to be able to do something about it.
So nothing external changed, your internal attitude towards the external world did. Does that sound like situational depression? Or chronic, endogenous depression?
So how do you explain what happened to me? I had real, concrete problems in my life (low-paying bad job, obesity). I was unable to resolve them through direct methods (searching for a better job, diets, exercise). Once I had some therapy to resolve my emtional issues, I was able to resolve some of the other problems in my life (got a good job, lost weight). How did that make therapy bad for me or for the world?
It doesn’t really concern me but the symptoms do fit with endogenous depression though for I have no care about the mundane things of life anymore.
I do not believe in the splitting of depression into these two categories except in extreme cases. Endogenous means biological and it’s clearly not biological but logical!
It’s also not that nothing external changed. External things happened for me to be able to conclude something new. I think that most people suffering from endogenous depression are those who simply have concluded (after having encounters with or being told of patterns in life)that certain things are depressing.
Someone may have experienced several bad relationships and refuses to engage in any new ones, gets depressed and concludes that since one can’t have any relationships with others then one is screwed. This instead of re-evaluating ones possibilities.
I probably should’ve picked an other path in life that would have led to less conflcits with established norms. A simpler life would have probably suited me. An argument for not going back to my normal life is that my depression has caused the destruction of all that I had built up earlier. So trying to rebuild it wouldn’t make sense, as that would invalidate the reason for being depressed in the beginning. I know, circular logic but the reason itself still ringed true when I got depressed.
I don’t know exactly. I think that therapy can be good if you’re in denial about yourself.
But the question is perhaps why you had a low-paying job and why you were obese and what changed.
Has your personality changed? Is that a good thing? Do you still feel like yourself?
Alot of people deny a part of themselves to succeed. I could’ve done that myself without going to therapy but I refused to.
“Is the world sick or are you?”
Also sometimes people just need someone to talk to, to reflect, bounce ideas, see where in life they can go. Maybe you tried to exercise but never found the energy to stay on scheduele because you didn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.
After talking to your therapist you found it.
A therapist can often act as a really good friend who gives you sound advice, like a priest too. Could you have spent the money on a career coach and still succeeded just as well? Maybe …
And it’s something I’ve always suffered from, going back as far as I can remember (and I can remember back to the age of 2). Also, it’s a condition that afflicts both my sisters and my mother, and afflicted my grandfather as well.
But please keep telling me how we all just need life coaches - your views are fascinating.
People suffering from depression aren’t logical. They think they are, but they aren’t.
Look at it this way: who’s telling you that the source of the depression is external? Your brain. But isn’t that exactly the kind of thing a messed up brain would tell you? How can you diagnose yourself if your key diagnostic tool - your own brain - isn’t working properly?
So, OP, you say you "probably should’ve picked an other path in life…"and “A simpler life would have probably suited” you.
What are you doing to make that happen? Why aren’t you putting your effort toward that other path and that simpler life? What is stopping you other than you?
I’m not trying to come across as being mean. And I ABSOLUTELY am not bashing or attacking you, OP.
But you are coming across (to me, at least) as someone who wants to throw out his opinions as (erroneous) facts about depression and mental illness and then attack and criticize anyone who dares to disagree with you. Forgive me, but it’s kind of “Lena Dunham-ish” on your part, kind of saying “hey look at me!” while at the same time saying “WHY are you looking at me!!!”
OP, there is no one who can change your life but you. There is no one who can decide for you what is acceptable or meets your expectations, etc. in your own life but you. It’s your life. It’s yours to do with or not as you please. It’s not someone else’s right to change your life, neither it is their responsibility. Nor is it “the world’s.” It’s yours.
Your life doesn’t meet your expectations? Then change your life or change your expectations. You “should’ve” picked a simpler life? Then go pick it now. Again, this is not meant to bash you. I’m simply pointing out that you have all the power in this situation. You. No one else. And not the world. You. All the power. All of it. You.
Just because your life isn’t working the way you want it to now doesn’t mean that it’s over. It’s doesn’t mean that you’ve somehow “failed.” It doesn’t mean that the world (and you) should see you as a permanent, never-to-be-seen-as-anything-more-than complete and utter failure. No one (except maybe you) has written down anywhere that you haven’t lived up to your potential. Do you remember how in school they would warn you that if you were “bad” it would go in your permanent record? Well, I’ve got some news for you. There’s no permanent record in life.
You seem to be offering up a “problem” for us to “help” with and then attacking us all for daring to offer “help.” You seem to be blaming the world as well as yourself. But the world didn’t make your choices, you did. There’s no shame in the choices you made, no matter what you or anyone else has tried to convince you of. What I’m saying really all boils down to this: you don’t like the results of the “life experiment” so far? Simply change the experiment.
Or not.
This post of mine is not any kind of attack on the condition of or people suffering with depression. Nor is it an attack on therapy or medications or any other treatment for depression or mental health illnesses/issues. I’m just trying to make a point with the OP, who may or may not be depressed and who may or may not benefit from therapy or medication.
And one other thing I feel the need to express, OP. You’ve talked about or referred to killing yourself at least three times in this thread. Please don’t do that.
Mods, if I’m out of line in my post, please let me know so I can apologize and bow out of the thread. Thanks.
:smack: Fucking prejudiced bastard.