They’re awesome. They treated me as family immediately (even though it took 5 years for it to become “official”). They are retired and have minimal day-to-day expenses, so they are extremely generous with both their time and money, yet live far enough away that they are not all up in our business. When they are here to visit, they have lots of friends in the area so we don’t even have to entertain them. My BIL gave them a grandchild so there’s no pressure on us to give them one (and we never will).
Mine are also of the not-living variety. My husband’s mother was a charming lady in her dotage, which was when I met her, but suffered from severe alcoholism and chronic pregnancy when he was a kid. When his dad was home, which was not often, she’d get him drunk and have sex with him to distract him from beating on the kids so much, and then there’d be another baby shortly. After he died, she cleaned up, became an active member of AA and a social worker to assist other women alcoholics and survivors of domestic violence. I quite liked her the few times we met; just wish fewer of those meetings had taken place in the hospital. She died before we married.
My exes…well, you’ve seen The Sopranos, right? That was the family my ex-MIL grew up in, as the pampered, sheltered baby of the family. She’s a nightmare. Her husband is kind of cool, expect when he loses his temper. Since losing-your-temper is the default state in their household, I found it a profoundly unpleasant place to be. (And my husband learned all his worst habits from them, so I very much should have paid attention to that before we married, but I was blinded by twoo wuv.)
Strangely, most of the men I’ve dated have come from loving, warm supportive families. A couple of times, I had more trouble breaking up with the family than the man. But for some reason, the two I married came from shit families. Paging Dr. Freud…
Mine are vile. MIL snooped through my luggage the first time we stayed with them. FIL has issues because none of the kids are his biologically. They fall slightly to one side of speaking in tongues and snake-handling. They were appalled at the “waste” of my college education, since it’s no use educatin’ the wimminfolk.
We live halfway across the country from them for a reason.
Mine are great people! I’m seriously lucky. The only thing that bugs me is when they want to do home repairs at our house. They tell me, “No, this can’t possibly be done or fixed”, and I worry, and three minutes later, they figure out how to do it. Actually, it doesn’t bother me anymore because I expect it.
I forgot to mention that my brother’s present wife is a complete cunt. His first wife was like a sister to me, however.
On the plus side, my former MIL was a wonderful person who treated me like a son. And my present wife’s mother, despite having had a severely debilitating stroke, was also a lovely woman.
Mine don’t even know that they have a daughter-in-law, and I’m pretty sure they still don’t know my name; they were not accepting of their daughter dating me and are less likely to be supportive of our marriage. While we’ve only been married two weeks, I don’t see us telling them any time soon. (My mother, OTOH, has been kind and supportive to both of us. My father also does not know he has another daughter-in-law.)
MIL is awesome. Very nice lady, lot’s of fun to split a bottle of wine with. FIL I never found much common ground with. When he and I are alone its veddy quiet. SIL is 40 and still hasn’t found herself. She’s difficult but thankfully I don’t have to spend too much time with her.
My in laws are very strange people. My wife’s parents have both passed away, but her father was an abusive asshole and seemingly psychotic. Her mom was an enabler and perennial victim. Her siblings don’t act like they are even related. The family dynamic is like a group of strangers who were forced by the psychotic father to live together until each of them turned 18.
My more liberal and high society inlaws have found out a redneck son in law who owns a pickup truck, tools, knows how to fix things, and who is always available to help out is actually a pretty handy thing to have around. Their more educated and richer kids with their Phd’s and the fancy careers live far away and when they visit, never lift a finger to help out with things and treat their home as a hotel. My MIL says I’m the easiest to cook for since I’m not picky.
I had a short marriage, but a long relationship with my (ex) father-in-law as my daughter was his first grandchild. He was one of the most caring and generous people I’ve known in my life. A typical example - once my daughter and I drove from Houston to his house in Dallas for a Christmas visit. It was during a terrible ice/snow storm, but we made it. The morning we had to leave, my father-in-law had gotten up early, scraped the snow and ice off my car, taken it to the gas station for a full tank of gas, and then ran it for awhile with the heater on so we left in a warm car.
He got cancer when my daughter was 13, but was always upbeat and never missed a visit, even between chemo sessions. When he died, he had been making plans to take us to Branson, Missouri for a vacation together.
I miss him to this day, and I am so grateful my daughter has wonderful memories of her loving grandpa.
This. They’re every bit as wonderful as I could have hoped. My MIL was apparently taken aback when she found out I’m an atheist, but she got over it very quickly (unsurprisingly, since they are lapsed Methodists who haven’t been to church for anything other than funerals in decades.)
Never been married, but was in an eight-year relationship.
Only met his parents once, as they were ranchers and lived out in the country. FiL hated the city and didn’t like to fly and they weren’t very tech-savvy. Also, since the ex wasn’t out to them, it limited “reasons” for interaction. I’d talk to them on the phone now and then, and they were pleasant, but very conservative Christian. When I was there, I attended a church function with them, and there was “speaking in tongues.”
He’s the middle child with a slightly older sister and a much younger sister (to the point that it was almost like the youngest was an only child). Most of our big fights stemmed from the older sister, one way or another. I always had it tossed in my face that, since I was an only child, I wouldn’t understand why he couldn’t disagree or stand up to her.
The older SiL is a mess. A former drug addict who was irresponsible and an alcoholic. We threw a fairly big party one weekend where all the guests brought a bottle of wine to share. This led to dozens of half-empty bottles at the end of the night. She slept at our place, and I still remember waking up at 10:00 am and coming downstairs to see that she’d polished off 4 or 5 of the half-empty bottles over the 8 hours she was left alone.
She means well, but doesn’t think things through. We lived in a new apartment (with brand new furniture) and she wanted to visit, but she couldn’t afford dog-care for her rather large dog. Knowing how she “raised” the dog (very little training), I knew that damage would result, and we’d risk losing our deposit (as well as have our furniture ruined, as this dog is not an “inside dog.”
I kept stating that, if she couldn’t afford to board her dog, maybe she should save up before making the 250-mile trip. He made it clear that she was coming, regardless of how I felt, and said the dog could stay on the (very small) patio. This was July, in Texas. Needless to say, I protested that, seeing how cruel that would be. He said that the dog would then just stay in the guest room.
Knowing that there was not a chance I would win this argument, I didn’t state that I knew that wouldn’t be the case, and that the SiL would let the dog out and roam around the first chance we were both at work, I agreed. Sure enough, I came home and the dog was chewing on the furniture in the living room. This was also the trip where the SiL decided to surprise my ex by giving him a pug puppy as a gift. (He had one as a child and always wanted another) So, she gave him an obligation that we weren’t prepared for, and acted like she hung the moon. I won’t even get into how angry that made me.
The older SiL also wanted me to draft a Power of Attorney for her. It would state that (in the event of her incapacitation) my ex would provide for her financially, and the younger sister (still a minor) would be responsible for her day-to-day care. This was not a joke.
Thing is, I don’t think she is mean. I just think she’s clueless, short-sighted, and selfish.
My father-in-law is a full blown narcissist and exhibits every symptom of it to the Nth degree. When I have to deal with him I don’t know what disgusts me more: his behavior or my own lust to choke the shit out of him.
My mother-in-law drank herself to death about 20 years ago. I don’t blame her.