Desperately need ideas to wrap up a story for my son (7).

Hi everyone. I hope I’m not spamming the Internet by x-posting this here and on Reddit, but I’m kind of in a mild non-emergency panic. The Dope harbours some powerful imaginations, so I hope someone here has the time to chime in.
I desperately need help coming up with the ending (and then some) for a story I’ve been writing my son (he’s seven). TL;DR: I wrote him a page a day last year in kindergarten. It worked out very well, and at its ending it broke the fourth wall. (I wrote about it a bit here.) I started writing him again this year, but my wife’s cancer, the loss of a pet and a million other things have numbed my creativity. I need help wrapping things up plot-wise in time for the end of school.

I don’t know how to ask for help without writing out a huge amount. I made a table of contents of sorts — hopefully that will make it easy to skim through and see if any of it interests you or if an idea comes to mind.

Thank you so much for looking.

The Very Basic Background
The First Story (from kindergarten
This Year’s Story
How do I make it all tie together?
What I have to work with
Constraints
The Very Basic Background

I need help coming up with plot points/an ending and then some for a story I’ve been writing for my son. It all began last year on his first day of kindergarten. I wrote him the traditional first day of school note. Due to circumstances, I ended up writing him notes the second and third day, then the fourth and fifth … and by that time it was a small ‘thing’, and I couldn’t just stop abruptly. No plan at that time, just a fun thing to do.

From the first notes, a bit of a pattern evolved — few lines of “We love you; wasn’t last night fun; have a great day; etc.” followed by a bit of whimsy. The whimsy started to connect from day to day, then evolved into a semi-plot and then a continuing sci-fi/fantasy adventure. The saga wrapped up right at the end of school, nice and randomly on Father’s Day.

It was rollicking saga, and though it was haphazardly written in the ten to fifteen minutes before we left for the bus, its rather convoluted plot really came together at the end. The ending (came on Father’s Day) had four major shoe-drops that blew his little mind: an out-of-nowhere but makes sense plot twist, actual came-off-the-page time travel (with special effects and everything), and the appearance of an ancient treasure map that led to a six-foot tall knight two hours into the woods. It was a beautiful day.

I’ve been writing to him every day again since first grade started. But with my wife battling cancer (stage IV pancreatic with gruelling chemotherapy and two major surgeries), the loss of a beloved pet and a million big things that are tiny in comparison, this year’s story has kind of meandered. I have no solid idea where it’s going or how to end it. I have thin ideas, hints of notions and a few elements to include, but have nothing to write to.

And I’m really, really stressed about it. He’s kind of anticipating that something’s going to happen, and it hurts to let him down. It would be like giving him beige socks for his birthday.

Further, he’s on the cusp of credulity. Next year he won’t believe like the little boy who takes the reality of Santa, the Tooth Fairy and Daddy Magic for granted. He still believes in what happened last year, but just barely — he’s been asking a few questions that suggest he’s starting to pay attention to that man behind the curtain. So this is probably the last year it’ll be fully real to him, and once that innocence is gone, it won’t come back until he’s a father.
The First Story (from kindergarten)

Given the nature of the help I need, I thought I should provide the details of the first and second stories. To keep things as concise as I can, I wrote them up in bullet-like format. If you’re curious as to what they actually looked like, I had scanned and PDFd last year’s story to here.

Welcome Home Old Friend: The still patient knight

[ol]
[li]The notes all ended with a bit of whimsy, etc.[/li][li]After the first couple days, I started adding simple drawings to the back of them. This becomes a bit more important later on when the story gets to the map.[/li][li](e.g. “I’m travelling to the Jurassic period today, I’ll see if I can pick up a pet dinosaur” … “sorry, there were no dinosaurs, but I’m headed to ancient China and I’ll see if I can find a suitable dragon”[/li][li]In a sci-fi setting, a general Zarthos had elicited my help/advice in his fight against the Banatarks (the Main Bad Guys)[/li][li]While doing so, a Strange Occurrence happened, and I found myself instantly transported to a pastoral fantasy setting[/li][li]Attacked by a giant spider, a strange knight comes to my rescue.[/li][li]I am told by a council that I must fulfil my destiny by travelling with the knight.[/li][li]I have no idea what’s going on, why I was picked, etc. Neither does the council; they just follow the prophecy/legend[/li][li]I travel with the knight, encountering adventures.[/li][li]When there is no danger, the knight is silent, unmoving and seemingly hollow; I have to carry him from place to place.[/li][li]Because he didn’t move unless there was danger, it was how I could tell when I was safe. The knight never spoke (okay, he did when I first met him, but that was before I got the in-story idea to keep him silent)[/li][li]I encounter Borrinanigar Velsuth (Borin). He has been waiting for me; he is to be my guide across the Lightning Sea to the Crystal Tower.[/li][li]He first challenges me to prove who I am. First two questions relate to the house (When I meet the kids at the bus stop I usually had a bunch of lollipops. When he got off the bus, my son would ask me if “I was armed with lollipops?” Hence the in-story question “what are you armed with every day?”[/li][li]Third question launches into a tale about my past — what was the fate Rancor the Destroyer?[/li][li]The Rancor the Destroyer sub-story takes place, ending with me and my allies having tricked him into miniaturizing himself and getting covered/frozen in magic amber.[/li][li]By about the time the substory ended, my son had made the connection to this. It’s a paperweight I had made when I was in jr. highschool out of a D&D miniature (even the crack was part of the story). That reinforced the first person nature of the story and planted the seed that all this really did happen.[/li][li]Back to the main adventure and its episodes.[/li][li]Satisfied that I am who I claim to be, Borin hands me a torn quarter of a map here’s the full map as I drew it).[/li][li]The incomplete map has strange writing on it. I have no idea what it is, nor does Borin; he only knows he was supposed to give it to me.[/li][li]Another side adventure begins on the ship.[/li][li]I am pulled overboard by Scylla, a tentacled, Scylla-like monster[/li][li]For the first time in this adventure, I’m beyond the help of the knight (who has been a constant, personal deus ex machina, coming to life and saving me whenever there was danger and remaining silent, still and immobile unless I carried him).[/li][li]As I’m underwater and dragged through the bones of its previous victims, my hand finds purchase and balance on the hilt of a sword.[/li][li]The sword buys me time to escape into its submarine lair.[/li][li]Only pocket of air is at the roof; it’s made up of a vast amount one of the most powerful magical ingredients; it’s the last breaths of innocent sailors who met their doom[/li][li]Because of its source, I wont’ use that magic to free myself (trope of using evil starts down the slippery slope of evil for convenience, etc.)[/li][li]Almost caught again, I remember the sword and use it to rescue myself. I’m subsequently re-rescued by Borin and his crew[/li][li]In telling Borin how I escaped, he is shocked to see the sword — it’s not just any sword, but one that belonged to Alphonso the Wise[/li][li]In sailing on, we are overtaken by a massive, heavily armed ship (pirates? danger?).[/li][li]Ship is piloted by Farknuckle the Red. She and Borin seem to know each other, though there is significant tension between them. Farknuckle, attempting to board: “You could’t stop me — your ship has no cannons. Besides, you don’t want to stop me!”[/li][li]Borin lets her on board. More tension, but they go into his cabin to discuss. Both crews smirk. Cabin door has a strange symbol on it.[/li][li]Tension is interrupted by our arrival at the Tower in the middle of the sea.[/li][li]Tower is almost windowless except for four octagonal crystal windows.[/li][li]Tension restarts: strange craft have bobbed to the surface and are attacking/blocking our path to the tower[/li][li]Borin and Farknuckle put their rivalry aside to work together (one ship was fast but weaponless, the other heavy but cannon-laden).[/li][li]We eventually prevail, but Borin is deeply wounded[/li][li]He tells me just a little more about what he knows: in his world there had always been monsters, but there was a terrible change. New monsters from another time/dimension. It was up to me to banish them.[/li][li]Wounded Borin: “Tell me … have you ever heard of the Banatarks?”[/li][li]I’m stunned and relate how General Zarthos had asked help defending against their attack for the Black Meteor of Power (called the Time Spark here).[/li][li]Black Meteor of Power is in pieces. Trope of if they get both pieces, they’ll rule and destroy throughout time (as-is, time travel is restricted to individual and small groups moving through time; with the regrouped pieces, entire armies will be able to cross through).[/li][li]Banatarks are causing havoc here too. Only way to ask for help was to leave hints and clues throughout time until thousands of years in the future (when time travel is developed), someone would understand and send the right person help.[/li][li]And that person was me.[/li][li]I’m incredulous. The Everyman, I have no idea why I was chosen. Borin has no idea either. All they knew was that clues and hints had been sent back in time — which is why they (throughout the story) had expected me and were helping me.[/li][li]I’m to travel to the top of the tower to grasp the meteor to get sent forward in time. But in doing so, I may end time travel forever.[/li][li]I was confused about the cryptic nature of it all, but I just wanted to get home.[/li][li]At the top of the tower is Borin, Farknuckle, Borin’s strange rope-friend (side story not included here) and the knight that I had lugged all the way up the stairs.[/li][li]Door at top of tower is sealed. But I notice a strange shallow impression in its surface. It’s sword-shaped.[/li][li]Realizations: finding the sword in Scylla’s lair was no accident and the door had been magically sealed such that only I could enter.[/li][li](Only I could enter as in Borin, Farknuckle and the knight stayed outside)[/li][li]KERZAP … scene change.[/li][li]Tower had changed. What was wood was now metal. Boxes were now instrument panels. I made it to the future.[/li][li]Borin walks in. Confusion ensues.[/li][li]Not the Borin I had just left, but his distant grand-grand-etc. child. He and his ancestors had been waiting for thousands of years for my arrival.[/li][li]Was it he who left all the clues and sent me to the past?[/li][li]No. Just like before, he had little information and would tell me less.[/li][li]But he did have another map section.[/li][li]We launched into space (Tower never moved; over thousands of years, repairs and replacements, it was slowly turned into a rocket ship)[/li][li]No time to talk; incoming attack[/li][li]Banatarks again.[/li][li]More adventures in space as we travel across the galaxy to a meeting place (mostly Banatark trying to stop us)[/li][li]Borin gives a few reasons why some things are confusing:[/li][li]First, over time, archaeologists and the like were able to decipher clues from the past, but given the timespans involved, figuring them out was imperfect.[/li][li]Second, after their own scientists and leaders had finally recognized what everything meant, that the legends had referred to the Banatarks, etc., they were limited in what they could send back (knowing the exact future leads to the trope of a universe-destroying paradox).[/li][li]Third, what they could send back message-wise had to be understandable to peoples of that time (i.e. they couldn’t talk of spaceships because the clues had to use culturally relevant iconography and the like)[/li][li]Fourth, this had been going on for thousands of years in both directions, so a lot was lost in translation, affected by past and future messages, etc. (It generally explains various inconsistencies in message and plotlines)[/li][li]None of that explained how it all started (cycle of future receiving clues from the past, so the future leaves clues for the past, who on receiving clues leave things for the future, who on receiving them …). Who left the first clue?[/li][li]Still don’t know why I was chosen. Don’t know what the map pieces are. Don’t know who was behind it all. All Borin could tell me is that it will all be clear and that I’d finally make it home.[/li][li]In crossing the galaxy, Borin tells me many tales from his adventures in space and his family’s past (not told in-story, just alluded to), reinforcing the notion that time travel is heavily interlocked.[/li][li] I meet up with higher and higher ranked figures. I am stunned at the insignia of the Clinston, Arch-general of the Planetary Forces: it depicted the knight (who I had left outside the tower door)[/li][li]More space battles. Pew! Pew![/li][li]We have to travel to the center of Banatark space where the other half of the Time Spark is.[/li][li]Armada is assembled, along with other characters, etc. Knight insignia is everywhere.[/li][li]Eve of the battle, General Al-Gebra (yeah, I know), keeper of galactic knowledge is supposed to answer questions. But he doesn’t.[/li][li]It’s not him who sent me on this quest and he doesn’t know/can’t tell if he did.[/li][li]But he did have the final map section.[/li][li]We don’t get to start journey to Banatark space; they attack instead.[/li][li]Battle is bad: thousands of time-holes open and Banatarks flood the area with armies from across time and space, from primitive craft to giant battleships.[/li][li]Battle ends grimly. Borin and I barely make it out in an escape pod.[/li][li]Grimness continues. All was lost. Fortress decimated. Entire fleet destroyed. The Banatarks have won.[/li][li]Our pod is captured by a Banatark ship with mechanical, Scylla-like arms.[/li][li]Everything is silent in the wake of destruction.[/li][li]Borin starts laughing (?!)[/li][li]Borin is laughing because he understands. Borin: “Trust me, he said.” Me: “Who?” Borin: “He did. I didn’t understand it at the time, but now I know. He said you’d understand. ‘Trust me’, he said.” Me: “WHO?”[/li][li]Borin related some backstory. “I told him this was a dangerous plan. But he said ‘trust me’, and so I did. So we all did. And the battle is over; the war is lost. But now I understand he was right.”[/li][li]I don’t know who “he” is, but he’s the key to everything and the one who would make it all come clear.[/li][li]By now I’m kind of pissed about all the crypticness that’s been going on, devastated by the loss, and still desperate to make it back home.[/li][li]And who the hell is “he” that started all this and involved me?[/li][li]Amid the destruction and new ship appeared; I was about to finally meet him and get some answers.[/li][li]As the ship appeared, more and more holes appeared in space and a continuous stream of Banatarks from every time period flooded through.[/li][li]All Banatarks focused on the new ship, but couldn’t touch it.[/li][li]In all my travels to the distant future (here and otherwise) I had seen a lot, but this new ship was from an unimaginably distant future (hence it was impervious to event the combined Banatark forces)[/li][li] It took me aboard.[/li][li]A familiar-sounding voice helped me out of things and told me to come to the centre of the ship where I’d finally understand.[/li][li] Core of the ship was a time-proof room where he was waiting.[/li][li]Finally started to get answers as I made my way through the ship[/li][li]Paradox trope (and its dangers) revisited.[/li][li]“But just this once we’re going to break the rules”[/li][li]I refuse. Doing so would end time travel and I’d never get home to my family.[/li][li]“Trust me” said the familiar voice.[/li][li]So I did.[/li][li]Why all the mystery?[/li][li]“If you knew what you were about to do without meeting all the people or going through so much, would you do it anyway?”[/li][li]I understood: Some decisions and some things are only possible when resting on a foundation of friendship and experience.[/li][li]Secondly, we needed to wait for the right circumstances. What’s different?[/li][li]We were defeated because Banatarks from all time periods had gathered for this one battle.[/li][li]Ah ha. If I ‘understood’ too soon or too late, causality would break but the Banatarks would still be a malevolence throughout time.[/li][li]My ‘understanding’ was all that was needed to trigger the paradox and end the Banatark threat — and end time travel.[/li][li]Double down on refusal — want to get home to my family.[/li][li]“Of course you must; it’s related to why you’re here.”[/li][li]When time-locked chamber opens and I fully understand who it was and why I was sent back, the universe will rip asunder.[/li][li]But once I know but before knowledge and understanding sinks in (thus ending time travel), he’ll send me back to the fourth day of school, exactly where I started.[/li][li]I’d be once again safe with my family, where I could write down the adventure one note at a time this is where the legend started.[/li][li]All I had to do was follow the map when we get to the end of the story.[/li][li]#@&![/li][li]Can’t follow the map if I can’t read it.[/li][li]“Code to the map is on the back.”[/li][li]#@&![/li][li]I only sketched the front.[/li][li]“Seriously?” said the by now very familiar voice. “I’ll see to it that the map arrives safely at the end of the story, else time will end too soon. Really, you never looked at the back?”[/li][li]Almost there, and I ask my final question: Why me?[/li][li]It’s not you.[/li][li]$#@&?![/li][li]The voice said “it’s actually me. Or rather, me-through-time … one of me really lives up to the family creed, the ideal of increasing global happiness. Whether it was one act or the sum of them all together, it so changes the course of history for the better that the Banatark threat never arises. And so this entire war was fought to me from doing that. And your journey was to make sure I could. I’ll need you to follow the map and return to a place you left long ago and left something standing, waiting for me.”[/li][li]I made it to the door. Just as it opened, I understood it all, fulfilled the paradox and was whisked away back to the fourth day of school. All be cause I saw who it was:[/li][li]It was my son.[/li][/ol][ol]
[/ol]
A six-year-old doesn’t expect that kind of shoe to drop (he’s a very forgiving audience). We talked about the story, ate some lunch, basked in Father’s Day, etc. A couple hours later, the second shoe dropped. BANG! BANG! BANG! from outside. I had rigged some fireworks and smoke pots on a five-minute fuse, so my wife could sneak out, light them, and be comfortably (and visibly) back inside before they went off.

Right in front of the porch was a silver bucket with coloured smoke pouring out of it. On closer inspection (and when the smoke stopped), it held a silver case. We took the case off to open it, and there was the third shoe: it was the map. Friends had carefully taken my map drawings and transferred them onto a weathered piece of canvas — complete with code key on the back.

We go back inside to decode the map. This was the fourth shoe to drop — it was a map of the house and surrounding woods.

We go out for the treasure hunt. The map has a few bits from the story (in a tangle of laurels, the map’s “Red Flag” is the Borin/Farknuckle crest from his door, “Yellow Wood” is from his ship, etc. Bits of coloured fabric are in everyone’s favourite colour, etc.). It takes a good couple hours to make our way through it all. Finally make it to the end of the map and there it is: the still, silent knight.

The knight now keeps silent watch over our parlour.
My post was too long for VB, so I’m splitting it off here and pasting the rest into the thread.

This Year’s Story

[ol]
[li]I’d been scanning the skies, but nothing going on (no time travel meant no spaceships or other things in the area). So I wrote him he’ll have to settle for one of Borin’s stories[/li][li]‘Boring Borin’ was sad because his family tree was filled with adventures but he was only a junior, junior officer, responsible for moving cargo around a freighter’s hold. [/li][li]To pass time he studied manuals and how-to books on running the ship and its equipment[/li][li]He liked to experiment; reversing the polarity of a cargo stabilizer turned things into goo.[/li][li]Boss caught him standing in what used to be cargo; he gets in trouble. [/li][li]While getting chewed out, raiders attack. [/li][li]They ship is rocked by an explosion; Borin and his chief get caught in very bouncy goo. [/li][li]Borin gets sick; it deemulsifies the goo and he’s free (but the ship is still under attack)[/li][li]The chemical had rendered Borin imperceptible to the raiders in the cargo bay.[/li][li]He used another piece of equipment he had modified to trap those raiders in a stasis field. [/li][li]Ship was still full of raiders. To move throughout, he had to use the cargo transport tunnels. [/li][li]He missed a jump in the tunnels, but instead of being ignited, he dematerialized into a void[/li][li]He understood a disembodied voice declare various pattern stabilization levels and visual cortex stimulations. [/li][li]The symbol of the Borin/Farknuckle alliance appeared before him. [/li][li]‘Tactile Sensation Initiation’ and ‘Final Materialization Process’ returned him to corporeality with a thud on the ground. [/li][li]Full corporeality was accompanied by a horrid, orange quantum foam.[/li][li]“Welcome aboard the Farknuckle 5000, the premier raider ship of the galaxy.” [/li][li]Incredulity that the Farknuckle clan had ‘attacked’. [/li][li]They were there to pick up Borin. [/li][li]They did so by testing their ‘Relocater Device’ prior to their big heist. [/li][li]They expected Borin to join their raid. [/li][li]Minor slapstick ensues. [/li][li]Boring was incredulous that they wanted him to go on a raid. [/li][li]He as “certain skills” they need. That piqued his interest. [/li][li]He couldn’t leave until they talked. Slapstick and grossness ensues (orange foam, green goo, vomit; little boy stuff).[/li][li]“We need your talents and your past and some of your future” was all they would say as to why he was going to go on the raid with them. [/li][li]He couldn’t think of what they wanted. He didn’t really have a past (well, not a traditional past). [/li][li]Borin wondered if they knew about what happened when he was ten years old. Was his great secret out? [/li][li]He starts reminiscing about being ten — three months past his tenth birthday. [/li][li]Minor incidents in a little kid’s life. Playing with and reconfiguring new toys, teasing his pet, having chores like cleaning out the sewage scrubbers, etc.[/li][li] Borin liked tinkering with his electronics and jr. engineer kits (with some accidents in the mix)[/li][li]He got a home mini-transporter kit/toy (transporters were a few hundred years old by then). [/li][li]This is how the trouble began (or how half of it began).[/li][li]Technobabble ensues (something something quantum teleportation violates Newtonian physics so you have to account for it at the subatomic/micro/macroscopic borders something something) [/li][li]Technobabble continues (The Very Expensive control crystal shattered at the subatomic level. [/li][li]Crystal shards were now atomically embedded in him. He flashed when the light was just right. [/li][li]That caused him to be teased a lot. Biggest antagonist: Farnie, a tall girl with bright red hair. [/li][li]There was no escape; Farnie is short for Farknuckle and there was a family bond of sorts. Generations of enemies/rivals, generations of friends/partners. At the time of this story it’s in transition. [/li][li]On a trip to a synthetic compiler, Farnie saw a maintenance hatch that had been left open. [/li][li]They go in, the door shuts behind them, and they’re lost in darkness. [/li][li]They were afraid of getting lost or falling down an unseen tunnel; they should have been afraid of spiders. [/li][li]Slithering spiders no less. [/li][li]Farnie let out a scream; Borin lit up; hundreds of eyes were reflected back.[/li][li]‘Regular’ yells didn’t do anything. Only scared shrieks make him glow. [/li][li]Much running and shrieking ensues as the spiders try to catch them.[/li][li]Borin is caught; Ranie screams even louder; Borin didn’t’ free himself so much as he moved through the spiders (but still got bit).[/li][li]They made to a ladder/through a hatch. [/li][li]They’re lost. Hours of screaming doesn’t make a light. [/li][li]Frustration ensues. [/li][li]All but giving up when a security bot patrol comes towards them (they’re in a high security installation). [/li][li]Running ensues (after they run into a wall).[/li][li]Chasing ensues. [/li][li]In a maintenance area, Borin grabs spare parts here and there. [/li][li]More chasing; mild technobabble (they reduce their heat signature, etc.)[/li][li]Arguing over what to do, bot finds them and attacks. [/li][li]Borin finishes his contraption (more technobabble, a graviton accelerator), but they can’t aim it. [/li][li]Trying to get a shot, Ranie gets caught in a stasis field trap; she yells in pain; Borin glows more intense than ever and walks through walls to get to her. [/li][li]More bots converging. Borin takes his shot. [/li][li]It works, but the result is an exposed microscopic black hole. [/li][li]Chaos as things fall inward towards the black hole. [/li][li]People in odd/custom space suits fill the room. [/li][li]People in suits each has a crystalline panel in their hands (panels etched with a geometric pattern).[/li][li]They approached the black hole from each side to contain it. [/li][li]Technobabble as quantum foam poured out of the event horizon. [/li][li]Borin somehow saw the past and future simultaneously (only affected him — tied to the crystal/teleportation incident). [/li][li]People in suits were relieved that they contained it but not fully relaxed: “temporal distortion spiked right before containment” “That’s impossible — time fields don’t just collapse like that without an absorption matrix.” “But those are housed in miles-long space stations.” [/li][li]Borin and Ranie realized where they were and why there was so much security: this was the office of Temporal Weaponry. [/li][li]But time travel was a myth?[/li][li]Suited people took notice of the kids. “When are you from” [/li][li]They try to run. See puzzling labs ‘Historical Fragmentation Research’, ‘Large-scale Quantum Phenomena’, ‘Timeline Segmentation Analysis’, etc.[/li][li]They ducked into ‘De-synced Artefacts’. [/li][li]Room full of carefully laid out risers with strange boxes. Boxes glowed but gave no light. Box panels were made of the same things as the crystal panels. [/li][li]Ranie bumped into a pedestal. Box tipped over, shattered into hexagons and inside was a jewel-encrusted sphere. [/li][li]Second later, sphere dissolved into green goo then shimmering purple mist.[/li][li]Borin saw more than Ranie: he saw the sphere’s history and future, from mining to smelting to its role as one of the crown jewels. [/li][li]All the objects in the room had complex histories with one thing in common — all had a gap somewhere in their timeline (spent here in the De-synched Artefacts room). [/li][li]Another box gets knocked over. Borin reflexively tries to catch/support it. One of the suited people yell to stop him (too late). [/li][li]Borin wasn’t supposed to touch it without special gloves. Crystal is a crystalline matrix of technobabble (tri-level superposition of entangled matter, antimatter and non-aligned tachyon particles). [/li][li]Matrix shouldn’t exist: scientifically created based on alchemistic legends [/li][li]As he caught the box, Borin got wrapped up in the temporal flux (which wasn’t supposed to exist). [/li][li]The people in suits finally caught up with them; Ranie is taken away and Borin is trussed up.[/li][/ol]
How do I make it all tie together?

I have to:

[ol]
[li]Shift the story back to the then-present, when Borin is older. [/li][li]Explain why his childhood didn’t really have a past. [/li][li]Explain what the “special skills” they needed were. [/li][li]Describe the raid itself and give reason for it. [/li][li]Explain why once he knows what’s going on he’ll want to join the raid. [/li][li]Work in some ‘real’ elements similar to last year. [/li][li]Explain what the crystals in the map container from last year are (see What I Have to Work With). [/li][li]End the story such that Borin lives happily ever after — or at least becomes a noteworthy member of his family.[/ol] [/li]I think I can wrap up his lack of past fairly quickly. He’s caught now, so he could go into detention and be on very strict probation for the rest of his youth. The blemish on his record is why he never advanced past junior-junior cargo handler. I kept the people in special suits at all times, so they can play a larger role if need be.

The embedded crystals, there effects and his touching the time-shield box with bare hands are my ins for why they want him in particular. Besides being childhood friends, the whole kerfuffle was her doing in a way (not that he had to follow her). Further, he put his life on the line to save her, so she has a high level of trust for him.

Since time travel is a myth to Borin at the time, finding out that it’s real and that he’s needed to send the map (from the first story) back might come into play. That’s kind of behind what the raid is all about. They need to break back into the De-synced Artefact room and do something something I don’t know yet. If they send the ring and sword back to my wife and me (ring plus the sword from the first story; see What I Have), the map could use those to temporally triangulate to find him. We’d already have the items though, which means what, just digging them out of a closet?
What I have to work with
I have two or three items that may come into play.

For the map’s appearance, I filled a silver container with medium-sized stones from our garden. Along with the stones I added some decorative glass shapes (red and clear squares and hexagons). The container and its contents have sat unmoved since last year ( I’ve told him that the rocks and ‘crystals’ still have “time residue” and the like and we can’t touch them). The rocks are ordinary, but the smoke stained them blue and purple; I don’t know yet whether the residue will wipe off (they’ve been rained on a lot).

Because he’s been asking me about these for a year, I need to find a way to work them in at least explanation-wise (it’s where I was going with the crystal panels and crystal windows from the firs story’s tower).

There’s the sword from the first story. It’s a MallNinjareplica I got about thirty years ago. Actually, I have two. One has the Alphonso Xengraving, the other is decorative. One of their pommels is broken. I’m pretty sure I have the piece somewhere, but can’t be certain. I may even have a wooden replica display crest.

This hasn’t played any real part in the second story. The closest I’ve been able to come is the activity in the De-synched Artefacts room. That gives me some freedom to include almost anything. I’d like to work it in because once he stops believing in the story, it’s much harder to work into life. I could, but it won’t have the same aura of magic.

If I can reasonably fit it in, I’d like to give him a ring from his maternal grandmother. It doesn’t have to be that ring per se, but I’d like him to get an artifact from his mom. The ring I have in mind is a simplish medium-sized rub or garnet stone. The ring originally belonged to her paternal grandmother. Other than it being hers, there’s no particular story or provenance behind it (i.e. it’s not her wedding ring or anything). Her grandmother came over from the Soviet Union in the 80s, but no one is certain if it was purchased here or there. Not that I can’t add details, of course.

A very special Dad’s Hat was present and played a small part in the first story (but didn’t play any part in the second story). The “Magic Hat” and it hangs on a wall in our foyer. Here is a random picfrom about twenty years ago (with a random friend from college).
Constraints
One major constraint (though it could work in my favour) is that this year we’ll be camping at the Clearwater Music Festival over Father’s Day weekend. That means I don’t have as much (if any) control over my environment (especially weather-wise), though if I can think of something I have no problem contacting the organizers.

Come to think of it, crowdsourcing might help. I don’t know how I would reach out to people in general, but I think the festival organizers would be open to suggestion — it was started by Pete Seeger and storytelling is a large component.

Oh, when we’re at festivals, there are usually a lot of kids around us. I pack his cart full of balloon animals and assorted gewgaws to give away, and our van is covered in chalkboard paint. Hiding things around might be a bit of an issue if there are lots of eyes.

His credulity (its fragility, really) plays a huge role in this. It’s hard to benchmark, but I have to be very careful with whatever comes off the paper. It’s not that he won’t eventually see through the veil of magic I’ve weaved for him, but I’d rather it not be because something was too over the top or unbelievable. It wouldn’t ruin the story per se, but it would really damper the spirit of the day.

What makes keeping his credulous eye in mind difficult is that this story took a radically different approach. Whereas the kindergarten story was first-person and had a direct reason to come to life on that specific day, this one was framed as a third-person Borin story I heard from him.

Time is a crucial factor; Father’s Day is less than three weeks away, and with weekends and other interruptions in storytelling. For the last day I wrote several pages at once, so there’s a little leeway. But the need to wrap up relatively quickly puts a tight hold on introducing major new plot elements. I have to, of course, but not sure how much I can fit in.

I’m considering giving a sword to a seven-year-old. It’s not sharp per se, but still. Parenting 101?

So that’s it in a nutshell. Even just writing this out has been very helpful. Any ideas will be greatly appreciated!

If you got this far, thanks;

Rhythm

If there ever was a time when a TL;DR summary would be useful, this is it.

The only point I’ll weigh in on: Do not give your kid a dull sword. Give him either a toy sword, or a sharp one. A dull sword has the worst properties of both, and is actually more dangerous.

No kidding. Spent way too much time trying to figure it out. Then realized it’s like the producers of a mediocre movie getting green-lit for a sequel. Halfway through production they realize it’s total crap and they need screenwriting help. How to ask without saying “here’s the first movie; here’s what we have for the second; and here’s where we’re most screwed.”

Since it was purchased in a mall when I was 14 or 15, I’m pretty sure “toy” is an apt description. Won’t let him cut vegetables with it. Or zombies. Okay, maybe zombies. But not zombie vegetables.

Oh, that’s probably a wallhanger, then. Made of metal, but if you tap the blade it just goes “thunk” instead of ringing? Just make sure that he understands that all it is is a wallhanger: It might look good hanging on a wall, or maybe even worn as part of a costume, but he should never swing it around, because it’ll be unreliable as a weapon, and is likely to break if he ever hits anything with it.

How much time do you have for this? It’s hard to really appreciate the story’s structure (or lack thereof) the way you have presented it, but I’m offering to read both of them in full and give you feedback. I’m not an expert, just an enthusiastic fiction writer who has been studying story structure lately. If you think this would be helpful and there is reasonably enough time to have me review it and take in feedback, feel free to PM me for my e-mail address.

P.S.: Your post made me cry.

Well, obviously, the Very Expensive Crystal that underlies matter transport is also the basis for Time Travel tech.

The “authorities” who captured Borin and Ranie (is this the same girl as Farnie?) place him into the De-Synced Artifacts storage area while they decide what to do with him*. The stress of the situation causes Borin’s crystal shards to activate and interact with the Stasis Field that stabilizes the storage area. The glow is seen by the guys in suits, who open the room again, only to find Borin missing (but the ropes that were binding him are still there). Panicking, the suits decide to knock Ranie out with an amnesia drug, and release her to her home sector. She returns to her normal life, not knowing what happened to her; only that Borin was a part of her life, and now he’s not.

Meanwhile, Borin’s stress-induced episode has sent him back in time to five years before he was born. His arrival then is accompanied by bright lights escaping the storage room. Guards investigating the disturbance open the room, and find Borin there. Believing him to be a mischievous urchin, they apprehend him, and turn him over to Orphan Services, an Oliver Twist-like workhouse affair where he grows up, destined to a life of labor not unlike what awaited him before his detour (this accounts for him not having a childhood). His “special skills” are the abilities he has to interact with fields related to the Very Expensive Crystals (including Chrono-alteration, matter transmission, and any other technobabble types that serve the story). He has developed conscious control over them while growing up, although it’s not perfect.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Hope you can use some of it. (Maybe Borin at some point was able to jump himself forward the same number of years he jumped backward as a kid; that way there’s no mismatch between his and Farknuckle’s ages.)
*The suits are actually a cadre of Banatark spies, intent on infiltrating the government’s Time Regulatory Bureau. Their degree of success is unaffected by their encounter with Borin – as far as they know.

I watched Starcrash the other day. It’s already better than that.

Oh, definitely a wallhanger now. Before, well, it was one of the most storied and important blades in history. But thousands of years and an intense temporal inversion have tempered its strength. Further, wielding it now would attract undue attention from things unknown or worse — unscrupulous artefact collectors. For LARPing or otherwise, a very old and close friend helped start Strongblade, so he should be well taken care of when the time comes.

Time is a critical factor here. First, the story bits themselves are written in the mad scramble post-scrambled eggs and pre-bus. The only exceptions I’d made are the few times when we travelled on a school night; then I left a note with his grandparents to add to his lunch. I did write a fair number of pages for the last day though.

Then there’s … holy hell, I just looked at a calendar. There are only nine school days left. I’d wanted to post about this earlier — and really should have — but other tragedies got in the way. (oh, terribly sorry about the crying thing. I so wish this could have been nothing but fun).

The bullet list actually smooths out a lot of minor/major inconsistencies and repetition/recapping (remember, fifteen minute clips. Plus, this year I somehow got it in my head to add a little colour to the drawings, which compressed the whole process). Then there’s the scanning. Sheesh, the scanning. They’re written on 8.5x7 sheets, folded and tucked in his lunch — do document feeder for them! Took days to get last year’s story in, and I haven’t gone near the scanner with this year’s diddy. If it helps at all, the PDF from last year is up HERE.

Of course, any thought is greatly appreciated. Even if it keeps me thinking and gets me any closer to how to tie it all together or what to do for the final read/fourth wall breaking.

Great thinking, thanks. Clients have come out of the woodwork in the past few days, then another late afternoon yesterday with an emergency project. I’m absolutely not looking a gift horse in the mouth or anything, but really guys? All at once? I was up through the night working on an inception report. At least the title have me something to think about.

So I put Borin in jail this morning (I tend to make sharper turns on the weekend). Somewhat open-ended though, didn’t commit to anything other than he didn’t get to wonder at the myth/reality blend for too long. “The stress of the situation causes Borin’s crystal shards to activate…” That’s really good. All along I’d been playing up the idea of her shrieks and the like being the trigger. But what if it’s not her but his reaction to her — especially his reaction to her in peril. Way back in the early bits I had him go invisible; what if it wasn’t the chemical reaction but the stress of the raiders that activated things? I can either have him figure it out on his own in jail or whatnot, or maybe hold it to the very end when they’re on the raid (more peril for her. Great peril. Terrible peril. Python levels of peril!). I’m loathe to go the “the power was inside you all along” route, but it doesn’t have to be so After School Specialish. It could be empathy.

Sneaking Banatarks back into it is good too. They could be threatening, scaring the bejesus out of him at first until he realizes they’re naught but clerks and accountants, oblivious to a history only he knows. Except that one Banatark from marketing. Something was different about him. He knew. He sets up the confrontation with the empathy-induced denouement.