The purpose of this thread is to take a book, and destroy it by (theoretically) adapting it into a movie using a standard “hollywood” style.
Examples:
“The Road, The musical!”
The overiding disco soundtrack MAKES the story come alive!
“Stranger in a Strange Land - the silent film”
Anyone who has ever read this Heinlein masterwork knows that the book is 90% dialogue.
The Stone Angel- a muppet movie
Miss Piggy’s casting as the aging, decrepit and dying Hilda…
So I have gotten you started…
FML
Nineteen Eighty-Four
Announcer voice: “Steven Seagal IS Winston Smith…” (And whatever starlet is currently boffing the producer as Julia.)
Lots of car chases, explosions, people heroically outrunning explosions, and gangs of “Thought Police” taking on Seagal/Smith one at a time and getting their asses righteously kicked. At the end of the movie, the hero kills Big Brother (who is of course a real-live flesh-and-blood person), complete with some suitable quip (“Hey, Big Brother–Watch this!” BLAM!!!), then rides off into the sunset to live happily ever after with Julia.
Tagline: “One man…can change history.”
WOW! I can Hardly wait for 1985 - Next Year! (the sequel)
The Scarlett Letter - Starring Demi Moore and Gary Oldman…no, wait. They did that.
How about
Atlas Shrugged - Starring Adam Sandler. John Galt (Sandler) and everybody like him go on strike. No-one notices.
Gravity’s Rainbow - Directed by Quentin Tarantino. 'nuf said.
Charlotte’s Web - Directed by Oliver Stone. It was a conspiracy no-one would acknowledge. It was a death that shattered a nation. The CIA, the Mafia, Farmer John Sausage…they were all part of the web of deceit and lies.
A Confederacy of Dunces, Starring Matthew McConaughey.
You know “A Confederacy of Dunces” was in the works as a movie… Will Ferrel as Ignatious. Love him or Hate him… that would have been just WRONG casting…
FML
The best part about it was the explosions during the *getaway scene * at the end!
Not kidding. They really did that.
Blood Meridian - The entire surviving cast from City Slickers!
Billy Crystal - The Kid
Daniel Stern - Toadvine
Patricia Wettig - John Glanton (rewritten as The Kids love interest)
AND
an Animatronic Jack Palance as The Judge!
Oh, and Ridley Scott directing.
Exodus: The Movie, complete with a high-speed chariot race with Moses and Pharaoh fighting hand to hand in the back of a chariot across the Red Sea.
StarShip Troopers: Spend oodles of money on the SFX, but omit the powered armor suits.
Podkayne of Mars - Age Pod to be 18, and throw in a couple of sex scenes with all of the main characters getting away unscathed after the final action scene in the Venusian desert.
Isaac Asimov’s Foundation Trilogy, starring Chuck Norris as Hari Seldon: “Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent?” (The proceeds to kick empire rep’s butt).
Love, Phil