You and your family are definitely in my thoughts.
I am so sorry to hear your news. Nothing that I say can make this easier for you, but you are in my thoughts.
Sending supporting thoughts your way.
I’m very, very sorry to hear this. I lost my father to lung cancer. But a few inspirational stories - my paternal grandmother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and the doctors just wanted to do palliative care (in part because she was in her 80’s). They gave her a couple months to live. She insisted on treatment, and her philosophy was that if she was well enough for chemo she wasn’t really sick. She lived for 21 more months, and even came back from a broken hip (falling on the ice outside the doctor’s office!). She had no pain until the very end, and frankly, her hair with the wig looked better than the fried-poodle-hair perm she always wore.
My uncle had colon cancer. He was given two weeks to live. He insisted on surgery and treatment, and 6 years later he’s still fine and is cancer-free.
Be strong, be realistic (but not too realistic) and be with her as much as possible. Take time off work, if you can.
Best of luck to your whole family.
StG
Sorry to hear this. Best of luck to you, your wife, and the rest of your family. I ain’t the praying type, but I’ll try to send some good vibes your way.
Peace be with you.
Thank you all, again, for the encouragement, suggestions, and support. I hope your holidays were happy. Ours, surprisingly, wasn’'t bad. Some gifts were exchanged, and we had a festive and happy meal with family.
Ye gods.
{{jsc1953}}
I’m very sorry to hear this. I’d just like to offer three pieces of advice from the very bad year of my uncle’s brain cancer -
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Make sure you take care of yourself, too. It’s very easy to be so wrapped up in what’s going on with your wife that you neglect yourself physically and emotionally. It’s also easy to feel guilty if you aren’t spending every single moment with her, or to feel guilty about the things you can do that she can’t. If you need to take a few hours off and go for a walk, make sure you do. Get a massage. Go to a concert or a movie. Go out to dinner with friends. You can’t do your wife any good if you aren’t also nurturing yourself.
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When people ask if there’s anything they can do, don’t just automatically thank them - give them something! Tell them it would be fantastic if they went to the grocery store, or took the dog to the vet, or if they could find the time to do a load of laundry for you? People actually want to help - they’re not generally just saying “if there’s anything I can do” as a social thing. The thing is, they don’t know what they can do, and most people won’t give them things to do. Make a list and decide that you don’t care if they get the wrong brand of paper towels. Asking somebody to take your car to the shop is not at all being “too demanding” in this situation. It’s a win-win - your friends feel wonderful that they can do something for you, and you can spend the time you would have spent at the car dealership with your wife, or taking a nap, or getting that massage.
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If you need help from the hospice people (in your home or at a facility), take it. Don’t wait until it won’t help much anymore. Having the hospice nurse around did a whole lot to make my uncle AND his wife a lot happier and more comfortable, and it allowed him to stay in his own home much longer. The word “hospice” can be very scary and too many people wait too long. I’m not saying you’ll need this, but if you do, these people will be there for you.
Re: Zsophia’s advice on hospice. Ditto, ditto, ditto. They are there for both the patient and the family. They were invaluable to me when I lost my mom. Take care.
jsc1953 I’m sending hope and best wishes to you, your wife and your family, cousin. Here’s hoping that “miracle” is right around the corner.
Peace.
I’ll keep you and your wife in my prayers.
I have a friend going through this now with her 23-year-old daughter. I don’t have the words to write about it. But I will hold you and your family in my thoughts.
And just in case you’ve not heard of this, there is a website called [Caring Bridge that provides space for people battling serious illness (and/or their families) to post journals and for friends and family to leave messages. It allows people to read updates as posted and correspond with the patient or a family member without feeling that they are intruding or bothering at a bad time. We have found it to be valuable for those at a distance who want to provide support.
I too have a 3-year-old friend with a blog at Caring Bridge. It’s a great way to keep in touch with distant family and friends.
Please accept the help from hospice. They are angels on earth. I can’t say enough good things about the hospice where my dad spent his last few days after suffering for years from COPD. I don’t know how they do it but am very grateful that they’re here for us when we need them.
This is a difficult journey for you and your wife. May you travel this road with the least amount of pain possible.
Remember, there are Teeming Millions of Dopers here who are here for you.
Thank you for posting here so you can know most here are pulling for both of you and please e mail us any time to chat, vent.
Am keeping hope for you two alive.
jsc1953 you and your family are in my thoughts. I wish I had something else helpful to say, but the others have covered it pretty well. Take care.
Sorry to hear. 
Check out www.caringbridge.org for a good (and free) way to start a web page for your wife. It makes it easy to update friends and family on her condition without having to make 50 phone calls every time something changes.
ETA: umm, yeah, late to the party on this one
So very sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis. I’m keeping both her and you in my thoughts.
We used caringbridge when my cousin Anita suffered and amniotic fluid embolism and went into a coma while giving birth to her son, Jarrett. She pulled through eventually, but we lost Jarrett. Having that site to go to for updates and to share well-wishes was a godsend for family and friends.
My thoughts are with you and your family. My mother had lung cancer and the only bit of advice I can give is to accept the help offered by family and friends. You’ll need the momentary respite to recoup yourself.
I’m sending positive thoughts your way.