Dear Malignant Melanoma:
Fuck you.
Yes, you, motherfucker.
Because of you:
-my husband has been in and out of surgery, hospitals and doctors offices for the past year
-my husband is on Interferon and is a shadow of his former self
-my kids have been robbed of a father who has the energy to play
-our relationship with each other and our kids is strained
-whenever my husband has a doctor’s appt. my daughter asks “Will Daddy be coming home?”
-my children know way more about injecting meds and changing dressings than any child should ever know
-we lost a business that my husband busted his ass to create
-we are on the verge of bankruptcy
-we have lawyers and creditors haunting us
And that’s not even all of it.
Because of you, you dirty bastard, the bravest man I know is terrified. My husband is the kindest man I’ve ever met. He doesn’t drink, smoke, gamble or whore around. He gives money to charities as well as homeless people on the street. He has a kind word for and about everyone. He has always put me and the kids first. This is the person you want to pick on? Fuck you.
He only has until August and his treatment will be over. All of his Derm.checkups were clear. We thought the fight was ending. Then we had an X-ray last week. We got the call today. There is a “spot” on his lungs and he now has to have a CT scan. It might be nothing but it might be you again. I’m sure you’d be really fucking proud of yourself. If you’re in there, all of his suffering over the past year was for nothing. All of the injections, IV’s, puking, everything…wasted.
I’m sure it really pumps your nads to know that we’re probably stuck at this shitty facility rather than going to the Comprehensive Cancer Center. Who cares that survival rates are higher when treated at one of these centers? IT’S OUT OF OUR FUCKING NETWORK!!!
So in conclusion, (yet again) fuck yourself you cunting son of a bitch. You’ve bent us over for the past year and now you’re trying to do it again. I don’t know how we’re going to make it through this. I really don’t. I’m tired of all the bullshit. But you’ve got another thing coming if you think you’ve beaten this family. We are going to fight to the end, whatever that end is. He’s not just my husband and the father of my wonderful children; he’s my true soul mate. Be. Warned. Fucker. It would be a good idea to get out now and not look back. You are barking up the wrong bitch because you are fucking with the wrong man.
Wow. I’m so sorry. It certainly sounds like you’re doing what you’re supposed to do. I hope you have someone who can spell you occasionally, because I know being caretaker to someone with cancer can really take its toll.
Hang in, sister. We’re all pulling for you.
My thoughts are with your family, Granuaile. It’s a frightening enemy, all right.
I hope your husband will be back to his old self, soon.
Meanwhile, this one’s off to the Pit, though. You know - for strategic cursing purposes and all that.
My prayers are with you and your family.
My mother and father have both been stricken with cancer in the last five years. They’re fine. Your husband will be, too.
You’re not alone, we’re with you.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Granuaile, keep your chin up and fight the good fight.
Back in January I had to have one of my fingers amputated because skin cancer had invaded the bones in it. I was sick and out of work for three months. My wife and kids were scared shitless. My oncologist called me this morning and told me he didn’t need to see me again until next year. I am so fortunate to be in the clear, at least for now. I sympathize for you and your family and wish nothing but the best outcome.
Cancer can’t read.
Melonoma killed my old man, too. I thought about him on Father’s day.
Sorry for the cussing Coldfire. Thanks for moving this to a more appropriate forum. I wasn’t sure it was Pit material.
Thanks to everybody for your kind words and thoughts. We’re a little better today, as the shock seems to be wearing off a bit.
I made the Doc move the CT scan to next Monday, rather than their pick of two weeks from now. Hey guys, don’t rush or anything! It’s not like he’s your Dad/ Husband/ Brother!
It’s really hard for me to stay positive for my husband and children. I can’t really vent to anybody because I am always expected to be the “rock.” If they see me freaking out then all hell will break loose. The survival rates aren’t as high as some other cancers. My naturally pessimistic nature then takes charge of my brain and I find myself thinking of eulogies and locations for the memorial lunch.
E72521’s story has given me some hope. Thank you so much for sharing and I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. (if that’s the sort of thing you’re into 
)
Any advice, stories, good wishes/vibes are gratefully accepted. We are going to need all the luck we can get.
P.S. to gatopescado
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my dad 13 years ago to Diabetes. Father’s Day, his birthday, hell all holidays have been rough for me. My mom hasn’t put up a tree for Christmas since he died. The only thing she decorates during the holidays is his grave. Whenever my kids have a birthday I wish that Dad was there to help them blow out the candles. They will never know how much he would have loved them.
I’m very sorry, Granuaile. I was diagnosed with melanoma two years ago, at age 26, just as I found out I was pregnant with our first child. Thankfully, we caught it pretty early, but believe me, I know the terror and shock you’re going through. I wish you and your family the best. To everyone else: buy you and everyone you love some sunscreen and USE it.
How awful for you, I hope everything turns out alright.
Would you mind if, while I’m here, I told strokes to go fuck themselves, too?
Granuaile,
This is such a timely thread. I had a biopsy on a thyroid nodule yesterday and the doctor called me not two hours ago with the happy word: “benign.”
I was so relieved. I lived in hell for three weeks, wondering if I was going to have to face the “c” word. It sucks so badly that people live with it every single day. I will be making a big donation to the American Cancer Society in the next few weeks in the hopes that your family’s ordeal will be a thing of the past soon.
My thoughts go with you and I hope you’ll be hearing the words “cancer free” very, very soon.
And since this is the Pit - I hate fucking cancer too.
Oh Granuaile, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Your husband sounds like a wonderful person. It’s not fair that this is happening to him and to your family, but it sounds like he has a pretty wonderful wife to help him through it. I know what it’s like having to be the strong one and not being able to vent or just feel scared, but you’re no newbie so I’m sure you know the SDMB is here for you anytime you need support. Your family will be in my thoughts.
And from now on, I’m boycotting all products associated with that fucker cancer! I’ll burn all my cancer cds. I will not buy any clothing made in cancer. Cancer’s Greatist Hits? Out the door! Cancer Cola? Down the sink. My special Cancer Brand stapler? To hell with it! What a fucker!
Oh…and brain tumors, too. My cousin’s kid was just diagnosed. Brain tumors can blow me.
Granuaile, please tell me you’re getting support. You have to be the strong one, but that doesn’t mean the strong one doesn’t need to vent once in a while.
Can your friends and family organize some sort of fundraising drive to help with the bills? Does the hospital or doctor offer any sort of caregiver assistance?
We’re here if you need us. My thoughts are with you and yours.
My thoughts are with you and I am hoping you and your hubby can beat this thing. Try not to worry about the “spot,” it may just be something minor and dumb. I’ve had one oncologist tell me that if he really looks hard he can find mysterious lumps and bumps on almost anyone. Most of them mean nothing but it is still scary as hell.
I’m in the same boat as yourself and every time I hear of someone beating cancer I run to tell my wife, it gives us both hope and renews her determination. If there is anything I can do, my email addy is testy_1 AT hotmail.com. We can swap chemo stories or radiation stories. We haven’t tried interferon yet but it sounds almost as bad as chemo.
The financial burden sucks. We’ve blown through 20 years of savings in the last three years and the end of treatment isn’t in sight yet.
I could ramble and bitch about my wife’s cancer for hours but for now please accept my sincerest wishes for your husband’s speedy recovery and future well-being.
All the best.
Testy
My paternal grandmother had brain cancer. It can kiss my sweet ass. As can Parkinson’s, which my aunt now has – her father had it, so we know about it, but hers is progressing downright weirdly and disturbingly. Fuck you, too, Parkinson’s. Fuck you very much!
And goddamned fucking strokes.
Stroke…the same word is used for gently showing affection to a cat as for a devastating brain attack that robbed my mother of the use of her entire right side as well as the power of speech. And she’s been living with that for five years.
May I chime in with a heartfelt yet generalized “Fuck serious illnesses”? Especially including the ones that run in my family, such as glaucoma, high blood pressure, diabetes, and breast cancer? Seems thematic enough.
Sorry I haven’t been back to this thread in a while. I had to get my mind right, so I took the family to Tahoe.
Og forbid a Pit thread turns into a love fest, but thank you so much for all of your support.
I have absolutely no idea how to go about getting any fundraising. It would be so wonderful to be able to alleviate some of my husband’s worry. He is so upset about not being able to “take care” of me and the children, I’m worried that he’ll make himself sicker. If anybody has any advice, please feel free to share.
This is the third time I’ve had to act as primary caregiver to a loved one. I took care of my Dad before he passed away due to a textbook case of Diabetes. My aunt had Senile Dementia and I had promised her I wouldn’t send her to a nursing home. So I was her live-in caretaker for a year before a stroke took her.
It’s heartbreaking to have to change Depends and spoon feed formerly active, vital people. It is so fucking hard to watch somebody you love die slowly. I hope to Christ that I don’t have to do that again. And even more importantly, I sure as hell don’t want the kids to see their Dad go through that. They’re all under the age of seven and if, God forbid, something did go wrong, they would remember their Dad as an invalid.
So:Cancer, Diabetes, Alzheimer’s, Strokes, Heart Disease and any other serious, soul killing illnesses listening, you are cordially invited to…
BLOW ME!!!
And Testy, thanks for the offer. I just might take you up on it.