Diabetes Does Not Equal Death, Dumbfuck

The BBQ Pit
1

I was diagnosed with Type One (Insulin Dependant) Diabetes at the age of seventeen. Ever since, I have had the utter joy of dealing with the misconception that because my pancreas is on the fritz, I am teetering at death’s door.

Today, I horrified a co-worker when I hip checked my friend into his cube wall - he’s a stinky White Sox fan and had mocked my Cubs, so I had to. She said “Aren’t diabetics supposed to be careful?” When I explained that I play hockey and have taken/received much harder shots, she told me to “take better care of your health”. After all, no doctor recommends exercise for diabetics. Rather, we should shroud ourselves in cotton wool and lie supine at all times. :rolleyes:

Over the years, I’ve gotten used to a slew of inane questions/comments, like these gems:

I couldn’t give myself a shot

Well, Sparky, when the options are “slide a needle under the skin” or “coma/death”, it’s pretty clear cut. To paraphrase Eddie Izzard, “Hypo, Please!”

It’s not like I sat on Santa’s lap as a wee girl and said “I want a pony, a Barbie, and to poke myself with a needle twice daily until I die!”

Doesn’t it hurt?

No, it feels like pure BLISS. It’s a mini orgasm every time!

(When I say I’m used to it, or that as a result of it I’ve fallen asleep while getting a tattoo - they don’t believe me. Seriously, I’m not digging for gold here, it’s the same as a TB test in terms of pain)

You seem cranky/tired/pale - do you need sugar/something to eat/a doctor?

I was born cranky and pale, thankyouverymuch. I’m tired because I have a parrot who wakes up screeching as soon as light touches him.

And I can guesstimate my blood sugar within five points. I know when it’s low and will self medicate if need be.

And my personal favorite:
I saw Steel Magnolias…

Well, that was your first mistake, champ. Never get your medical info from chick flicks or your life knowledge from Julia Roberts. Guess what…the majority of prostitutes don’t land wealthy men who take them shopping! Want more? When I have an insulin reaction, I don’t weakly tug at my collar and bitchslap Dolly Parton either. I don’t need a kidney transplant or dialysis. I may someday in the future, but for now I’m fine. I take better care of myself than a lot of people do. Besides, I have a Jewish grandmother and mother - I have all my hovering needs filled for life.

I’m not made of glass. Please stop treating me like I am.

Also, if I find out who ate my stash of candy, I will show you just how strong a diabetic can be when I skate up to you at top speed and cross check you into the nearest wall. Never piss off a redhead or eat a diabetic’s Emergency Sugar Supply.

2

Well, on the upside, I heard something promising for diabetics today on the news.

Apparently Gila Monster spit does amazing things for diabetics. No kidding.

Some genius type was reading about how Gila monsters only eat like four times a year, and so he reasoned that Gila monsters must have some industrial heavy duty type mechanism for regulating their blood sugar.

Sure enough, they do, and it’s in their saliva. Apparently it works like nobody’s business. A miracle. Far better than anything else so far.

They’re working on deriving some drugs, but the gist is that injected, this stuff is like a couple of weeks worth of insulin shots. It makes you normal. Almost a cure.

Fast-tracked and should be about two years from a commerical product.

I wouldn’t go swapping spit with lizards just yet, but it does look promising.

3

…Wow. I’ve always liked Gila Monsters.

4

This one astounds me too. I get this one all the time, except I answer in about the same words you used here. It shuts people up pretty well.

How about “Oh! You stick the end of your finger 6 times a day? There’s no way I’d do that - I’d die first.” To which my normal response, unless they are a client or someone important, is “Bullshit. You’d do it and you’d thank motherfucking LifeScan Corp for making the meter too.”

Surprisingly, I’ve not been asked that since I was maybe 15.

I used to get upset at that, until I did need a doctor. When I went near-comatose at work, and was led out of the building by my own client.

Never get that. What I do get is “I know someone who is diabetic. They had their foot/leg/arm/wang/skull amputated. What have you had amputated?”

My new pet peeve is:

“Someone I know became diabetic because they were too fat. How fat were you? How come you’re still diabetic?”

and

“I know someone who became diabetic when they were 40/50/60, and all they have to do is take a pill. How come you’re so out of control that you have take shots and blood tests? You must really have problems.”

Oh yeah. How motherfucking stupid of me to choose to be Type 1 rather than Type 2. I must have been fucked in the head…

5

It looks like that Gila Monster spit is for type II diabetes though. It also seems when you google gila monster spit it also pops up new possiblilties for alzhimers treatments. Who ever thought I would be looking up Gila monster spit?

6

Not to turn this into some sort of,“Ask the …”, rant but after I had a co-worker diagnosed with diabetes, whenever we had office parties I always brought fresh fruit.

I thought that she should have something to eat that did not involve processed sugar.

Was I wrong? I didn’t want to put her on the spot, but I honestly did not know what to do.

Obviuosly. we took our office food parties very seriously.

7

I find that hard to believe, and I’ve been diabetic for a very long time. When you go into hypoglycemia, a diabetic experiences mild dementia. Not that it happens often, but unless you have some secret that is unknown to me, there are times when it is more apparent to others. The other thing is I take humalog, which works just as quick as human insulin, so, apart from pop, there is little I can’t eat. So what annoys me is when people say “can you eat that?” Well, just watch and see…but I also realize some really do care.

8

Girl, I am so with you. IANADiabetic but I did have cancer, once upon a time in 1996-97, and WHY do people instantly assume such inane shit when you have a serious disease?

On the other hand, I think I’d rather have had more Qs like “Doesn’t it hurt?” and fewer reactions like “OMG I just touched a CANCER VICTIM, isn’t that a gross misdemeanor? I am SOOOO SORRY!!! If I’da known I would NEVER HAVE COME NEAR ENOUGH to BRUISE YOUR FRAGILE PITIFUL SELF which SURELY I HAVE NOW DONE by simply TOUCHING YOU!!! FORGIVE ME PLEASE!!! I DON’T KICK KITTENS or ANYTHING, REALLY I DON’T!!” etc. etc.

I still bless my best friend for coming to visit and gossiping with me and saying shit like “Can I bring you anything? There’s nothing in your fridge. You gotta eat, girl, whatya want? What goes down good lately?” But then, she had had serious health problems herself by then. My friends who had been at the time wholly healthy were all like “Are you OOHHHKAAAAAY? I am SOOOO imPRESSSSed with how brAAAAve you are, I could NEVER DO THAT, you are my HERO, should I CAAAALLL someONE FOR YOU??” etc. etc.

But really, how would they have known any better? They don’t teach this stuff in the public schools, more’s the pity. It’s a crying shame you have to educate people, but who else will?

Maybe someone should do a “How to Talk to Your Colleagues who Have Serious but Not Lethal Health Issues” special on PBS.

Of course, if you’ve already told 'em and they still don’t get it, to hell with 'em.

9

Wait, so THAT was the big disease in Steel Magnolias? I figured it was some kind of cancer or Ali McGraw Syndrome.

But diabetes?

10

I agree. My mom is type 1 diabetic, and when she’s having an insulin reaction, “mild dementia” is a kind description. She will often persist in saying that she’s fine, when she’s obviously not, and will downright refuse to eat anything. Oh, boy, getting her to drink some milk is just a joy! I’m hypoglycemic, so I have some inkling of how this must feel, but when when I have low blood sugar, I know I have low blood sugar, and I do something about it. Mom can’t always tell, and it can get really bad. Like the time she left work one day, got lost, and wandered all over San Francisco (a city she lived in for ten years and worked in for many more). She finally managed to call my dad from a pay phone, and he drove into the city and picked her up.

Diabetes doesn’t equal death, but personally, I’m glad my mom’s friends and coworkers ask her if she’s doing okay from time to time.

11

I just started on insulin this week. I’m a type II diabetic, have been for 6 years now. I’ve tried several pill treatments and none seemed to work well, so my doctor sent me to a specialist who put me on insulin.

I’ve had a few people ask “can you eat this?” but no one so far has reacted in the way the OP mentions. If they do, I’ll tell them like it is… including how rude the questions are (and the assumptions behind them.)

I’ve been there with the dementia; some of my friends and acquaintances have been at the receiving end of rants brought on by this and slight provocation. Even if I had a point, it was lost in the tirade. My true friends have stuck with me; the fair-weather friends are gone.

My wife is a cancer survivor; it was ovarian cancer and she has been in full remission (I hope I have that right- no signs of further growth.) She did have a hysterectomy; we will not be having children together (each of us had one from the previous marriage.) She doesn’t advertise it; between us we take every day as it comes and hope for the best with both of our problems.

I guess we keep the nosy/misguided at arm’s length.

12

It’s funny, usually I have the opposite problem. My mother was diagnosed as a Type II diabetic several years ago, and my paternal grandfather is also diabetic (meaning, of course, there’s a sizeable chance I’ll develop it too when I get older).

Most people I’ve spoken to think that diabetes just means a person can’t eat sugar. “It’s just, like, you have to drink diet soda. No big deal, right?” Eh, there’s a bit more to it than that.

My mom’s boss also doesn’t understand that diabetes acts differently in different people at different times. One of her coworkers is also diabetic, and wears an insulin pump, so if there’s an office party she just adjusts her insulin level accordingly. Momblink, on the other hand, has been managing her diabetes through diet alone until very recently, so when they throw a party and it’s all cookies and cake and sugary sodas, all she can do is shrug and go back to her desk. Her boss thinks she’s just being picky ( :rolleyes: ). There was one party where someone made an effort to find something my mom could drink – she was handed a warm can of Diet Coke, still dusty from wherever they’d dug it up from.

13

Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?

(Sorry. Continue.)

14

What’s the the "You are buh-RAVE - I just couldn’t do it" thing?

Not just diabetics, of course, but anyone with a chronic problem.

I know a guy who’s bladder doesn’t work right. The only way he can pee is to catherize himself. When this fact is occassionaly brought out to the light of day it’s always “Ewwwww. I couldn’t do that!” Buddy, the first time you haven’t been able to pee for 24-28 hours despite the kidneys maintaining full output you will be BEGGING to be catherized.

Ditto for being in a wheelchair, or blind, or deaf, or missing a body part… cripes, it’s not like anyone wakes up one morning and say “Gee, I’d like to develop a chronic and unpleasent physical problem that requires daily, if not hourly, attention.” Shit happens in life and you do what you have to do to deal with it.

15

This has actually happened to me. Several times, my blood sugar has dropped without the ‘usual’ symptoms that I recognize. I actually lost the ability to process visual information. Letters, numbers and other symbols made no sense to me. I coudn’t recognize them. Then I couldn’t recognize my surroundings (I was in my own apartment). Oddly enough, when I was in this state, it didn’t occur to me that it was hypoglycemia I was experiencing. Thankfully, someone else was there who knew me and knew what to do.

My friends all know that if I seem confused and cannot respond appropriately to questions, they are to feed me sugar, STAT.

16

Or take the beer out of your hand?

17

Why not? It’s a great stress reliever, and Dolly Parton deserves it.

18

I understand exactly what you’re saying - my point was that if I am the teeniest bit cranky, people assume it’s due to low blood sugar. Sometimes I’m just having a shitty day.

I monitor myself religiously and have learned to recognize my signs that my glucose level is low. If I start to feel cold regardless of temperature, I check my levels. I haven’t had a bad reaction - complete with dementia (in my case crying for no reason) - in about six years.

19

I highlighted friends for a reason. People who know me can tell if I’m befuddled because of low glucose or just having a bad day brainwise.

It’s the people who don’t know me who see the medic alert bracelet and assume any mood swing needs sugar. There have been times where I have just eaten, had a bad call right after lunch and been verbally…umm expressive. It’s guaranteed at least one person will ask me if I need sugar.

No, but I could use a stress free life - have one of those around?

:smiley:

20

I’ve had people think it’s just AMAZING that I go to school or drive. :rolleyes: Ya do what ya gotta do. Hey, asshole, I DO have to do some stuff differently and other stuff not do at all, but I DO have a brain and want an education!

As for the needle thing, I’d think it’d be a bit difficult at first, but I’d get used to it. Certainly I think I could DO it.