The Freedom from Religion Foundation (FFRF) newsletter sometimes includes stories of teachers and how they’ve handled situations like yours – perhaps you’d find some helpful advice, or maybe support for what you did, there.
For some reason I’m now envisioning an “It Gets Better” project for atheist kids. Start making those videos, people!
That’s actually a great idea! From your mouth to, uh, … anyway, I hope your idea takes off in a big way.
And you base this on what principles of best practices or tenets of professional ethics, exactly? I ask, of course, because it’s clear you’re making it up and rationalizing based on your personal views. Which is fine, people do that all the time, but then you’re obligated to say that you feel, or think, or in your opinion, or some such and not present it as if there was any objective justification for your views. As it happens, giving advice to students on how to behave is 100% within my job description, and I’m not sure what strange alchemy you’re thinking of, but being a state employee changes nothing.
The idea that I shouldn’t be “telling him what to do” is absurd. I wasn’t in the wrong when, during our unit on kinetic energy, I pointed out that it’s an exponential increase and they need to realize that small changes in velocity can have huge effects in terms of energy and they need to be careful driving (under our logic, I should have merely told them that, if they felt like it, they should perhaps consider not courting death behind the wheel). Same for when I’ve told them that they need to develop a strong work ethic and described how into college science courses most often work, and so on. The idea that “as a public school employee” I’m somehow prevented from giving advice is based on nothing and is, in point of fact, not just wrong but silly-wrong.
I mean, honestly, look at the dangerous levels of dumb contained in the idea that teachers can’t tell students what course of action to take. Do you think, before prom, teachers shouldn’t say “remember that drinking and driving is illegal and possibly lethal and you need to be smart and stay safe.” and should instead say “Ya know, you need to make up your own mind. Drinking and driving is danerous and illegal, but maybe you want to drink and drive, maybe you don’t want to. As a public school employee, I can’t advise you one way or the other.”
The problem with that, aside from the fact that it’s in contravention to pretty much all actual professional responsibilities and best practices, is that it’s shockingly stupid. Sex ed class taught on such ‘robust’ principles:“Well, sex without a condom does feel amazingly good, and sex with a condom does prevent most diseases most of the time, so, ya know, make our own mind up.”
Driver’s ed on the same wacky standards: “Hey kids, so, there are some benefits to looking both ways before you pull out into traffic or make a turn but, ya know, it’s up to you. I’m not saying you should make it a habit or anything, but if you feel like it, consider it.”
The idea that we’re not allowed to give students specific advice was, in this thread, evidently a rationalization for keeping atheists closeted to the point where it would be verboten to have a personal conversation with a student. There’s no actual pedagogical principle that’s violated by giving a student direct, explicit advice. No tenet of professional standards. The idea that I’m somehow in violation of some code of conduct or ethics if I tell a student “Ya know, college is going to be pretty hardcore and you need to get used to and learn how to start taking notes on the fly, since professors generally won’t stop their lectures and repeat their points multiple times until you copy them down”? It’s absurd. Nobody rational would claim that I need to say “Well, there are some who think that proper note taking is a valuable skill in college, so, ya know, if you feel like it and you agree, you should start learning how to take notes this year. If you wanna.”
Actually, I was going to suggest that you might have chosen to give him his options so that he could - if he chose the battle - step *out *of the closet. Isn’t the reason you started this OP because you were uncomfortable that you may have shoved him into the closet? I think that your instinct was correct.
I am not a teacher, so I am not familiar with the ethics and guidelines for teachers. I did get some straight up orders from teachers when I was a kid, yes. Being the kind of stubborn loudmouthed attention seeking kid I was, it tended to backfire, as it gave me a clear and unambiguous guidebook to pissing off the adults around me. (Hence my username.)
I am not a teacher, but as a parent (and I’m not saying teachers should follow the same rulebook as parents, just elucidating where my point of view is coming from), I’ve found it most helpful to give kids a sneak preview of their options, and then allow them to chose the main feature. As a nurse, I’m all about informed consent and teaching people the likely outcome of their actions and letting them choose the course of action. And as a(n agnostic) neopagan minister, I have had to counsel some kids on the “broom closet” issue, as well - none of whom live in Texas, but a few of whom live in southern Indiana and Kentucky, where they don’t take too kindly to witches.
I might have said something like “If you chose to be open about being an atheist in this town, people are likely to ridicule, argue and maybe even hurt you. It’s not fair, it’s not right, it’s not even legal, but it can and does happen. I wish we lived in a world where that wasn’t true and everyone could be open, but it’s reality. It doesn’t get any better outside the school doors than it was just now in this classroom, and it can get worse. If you chose to hide being an atheist, you may feel resentful and angry and have to bite your tongue a lot, but you may be safer. On the other hand, if atheists are never willing to speak up, they’ll never gain social acceptance. It’s a hard choice to make. I’d like you to think about what level of risk you’re willing to take, and what you’re willing to expose your family to by association. That’s something only you can decide. In the meantime, here are a couple of books that I think you might enjoy. You’re a smart young man. Don’t let the jerks get you down.”
But that’s just me.
Selfish Gene is the one on Memes, Yes?
In that case, I got an interesting aside to this.
I live in Atlanta Ga. It’s still ““The South”” but It’s apparently a lot more open than Texas is. [I still can’t fathom the fear you guys must constantly live in.] I digress.
My priest [Episcopal, and fairly well known in Atlanta] was very open in stating that **Snow Crash ** is his most favorite book he has ever read. [Monty Python and the Holy Grail is his most favorite ‘religious’ film]
I read Snow Crash in part on his behalf. I’m not saying it’s anywhere close to Selfish Gene, but it blew my mind on Memes nonetheless. [And since Iphones and Ipads have taken off, I’ve meant to re-read it]
So I indirectly got the introduction into Memes from my Religious leader. Try that one on for size.
On the academic side of things, I would have loved it if a teacher showed so much interest in me, as to forward non-fiction. I could have beaten a few of my Teachers in a battle of wits the first day I met them. [Leonardo GaVinci painted the Mona Lisa, The name of the fish has a prounced L sound in Salmon… and you can find second hand clothes in a conFinement shop.] To have had a teacher level with me, in effect by being on a higher level than me, would have done wonders for me.
The best teacher I ever had, defended and supported me in other ways, the least of them being [to my mom] “Your son has a great sense of humor, and makes a lot of jokes, the problem is, none of the other students get the references.” – The implication being that he did, and enjoyed it.
I think that you couldn’t have done what you did any better. There is perhaps an arguement to be made that you shouldn’t have done anything. I wouldn’t make that arguement, and I don’t think you would take heed of it. That is to say, I don’t think you [personally] could have sat on the sidelines here. I’m not the best one for Tact, but you stated that you would have fights over this, and know that you would win them.
You handled it correctly then, if you are this well prepared for the oncoming battle. Those battles will probably, hopefully go far in forwarding your cause. You will probably gain some traction. Perhaps not in the way you’d like, but I think it’s the best you can hope for.
It’s the book that coined the term “meme”, yes.
Thanks, and yah, I really couldn’t have remained silent.
Well, he’s always got the option to not take my advice, and he’s been quite vocal arguing with his peers through the year. It wasn’t necessary to explain his options because “there might be potential drawbacks to your views” was the only scenario he really wasn’t aware of.
That is a good point, and if I didn’t know the kid pretty well after butting heads with him for the school year, I might’ve chosen a different tack. But, I don’t know what exactly it was, intuition, experience, whatever, told me that I had a chance of getting through to the kid. The fact that he came later on to thank me makes me think I did manage to get something into his head on this matter.
I do like your formulation, for certain kids. For this one, I felt I really did need a sledgehammer to even make him aware that there was an issue. And since I gave him my personal email and told him to contact me if he has any questions, I’m sure I can followup on the discussion if he has any further concerns/ideas/questions.