Did I hear this right?

I heard from someone in passing today, that President Bush wants to ban masterbation. Is this true? I don’t have a cite, because I’m asking you guys if this is true. A simple yes or no will do… Honestly, I don’t think this is happening, but with Dubya in the driver’s chair you never know…

I think this would have to be an emphatic no. Gimme a break…not even the most diehard bible thumper could seriously consider such a thing even if they would like to see such a thing happen. Exactly how would you catch people doing this and how could you see your way to filling an already overcrowded penal system with people whose only crime is playing with themself?

Probably just someone trying to create mass hysteria.

Um… how would he enforce this ban?

I guess mastubation affects the hearing now.

I thought it just caused blindness and hairy palms.

Oh yeah, the notion that Dubya can ban chokin yer chicken, is ludicruos.

Just checking… I mean it’s Dubya after all… He can’t even put together a complete sentence. It’s really quite sad.

:Sigh: :rolleyes:

Easy. Collect daily sprem counts and arrest anyone whose count drops noticably.

One more typo and I’m going to call the spelling police.

Yeah, but what about the people with demanding SOs? :smiley:

Alien2022, i think somebody’s yanking yer chain.


Yes. Yes, it is.

Oh, for god’s sake. www.whitehouse.org is a parody site.

And the other whitehouse site would just be too perfect for this discussion.

(gov … org … com?) (not work-safe ;))

Alien2022, what you may have heard probably refers back to an older story when the Clinton Administration once recommended outreach programs promoting materbation in Health classes (I WAG) and the like - in lieu of the same old rhetoric of abstaining. The logic behind this proposal was seen as a compromise since preaching the same old gospel wasn’t doing much to stop teen pregnancy. However, the Republians (primarily) were quite outspoken against this, but I am not sure why…unless they were all Catholic Republicans?

I can only WAG this is what you may have heard a recent reference to? I don’t think he can ban it, carte blanche, but he CAN do things to ban such teachings in public health & social programs and classes. - Jinx

" Easy. Collect daily sprem counts and arrest anyone whose count drops noticably."

Yeah, right, how would they get a sample? By masturbating? Hmmmm.

A guy makes 1000 sperm everytime his heart beats. I saw that on Discovery.


They never actually recommended that. In fact, if you’ll remember, Dr. Jocelyn Elders lost her position as Surgeon General in 1994 for pointing out in a World AIDS Day speech at the U.N. that masturbation is a normal sexual activity and suggesting that educators would do well to include information about it in their sex education curricula. This page has a biography of Dr. Elders that describes the incident.

In an interesting side-note, when I searched Google for “Jocelyn Elders” + masturbation, this link came up on the third page of results: Will masturbation shrink the penis?

Actually…I heard the Bush Administration has proposed to start TAXING masterbation to fund Federally-run social programs promoting safe sex! :smiley:

Oh, yes… you are correct. However, I thought the Clinton Admin supported this philosophy. (Hmm…is the Surgeon General an appointed position?) - Jinx