My sympathy is also zero - sorry. 
Having pets or not having pets is kind of like having kids - you don’t want someone with pets, so for the love of all that’s holy, quit dating people with pets!
And quit dating people with pets who tell me that the pets will all be gone soon, too, I know.
I’m reminded of that line from ‘Coming to America’ - “Honey, I’m almost single. My husband’s on death row!”
Tell me about it - I mean, damn, there’s like 9 of them!
… or at least 7. That’s still a lot of pussy, you know? All packed into one place like that - like a dream!
nightmare
Ok, I don’t know you, nor have I seen any of the other ‘unfortunate cat lady threads’ but I do have to say that most of my relatives are crazy animal people, and the way you can tell them out is if they start rearranging their house to make sure the animals are safe/comfortable/kept out of x.
If lady had really been importuned by all these damn cats, then there is slim to no chance that they would not already be gone.
Magic 8-Ball says get the hell out of Dodge, because even if you get rid of this batch, she’ll adopt the next scruffy bit she sees on the interstate, or that some well-meaning friend gives her so they don’t have to be a bad person themselves.
Unless you’re subconsciously into torturing yourself with catladies, then I’d reconsider this nice single lady. Sorry to be a bummer.
Maybe you can go on a nice road-trip through the area instead? Central Fla - my husband grew up there. He says that Church Street Station is a nice fun tourist trap to wander through and window-shop. Lots of interesting thingummies.
He also suggests maybe finding a tour of the Everglades if you’re there. Maybe taking some of the cats with you to feed the alligators. (JOKING!)
Ugh. I’m actually very pro-cat and I couldn’t stay in a house with 9.
The solution is really up to you though - you don’t HAVE to stay there - you could go home.
However, perhaps you could suggest that she sends the kitties to a cat boarding facility for the duration of your stay - some of them are very nice. She’ll get them back when you leave and you’ll get to enjoy her company for the next 10 days rather than being grumpy.
Yup. They have pets or they don’t.
I guess she doesn’t have a basement to temporarily stick them in along with litterboxes? That’s what my parents do when my allergic brother comes to visit.
Just to echo everyone
I am an “animal person.” I have always been upfront about it, and it’s a dealbreaker for me also, so I know where you are coming from. I have pets, I have several pets! I pick up strays, I do it all!
So, I sympathize with your lady friend.
BUT
I understand where you are coming from. And I have to say, having nine cats? She’s an animal person. I would never have nine cats. That is a lot of fucking cats. I have had animals that I found that I liked and were wonderful, and the thought of them going to a shelter made me cry. But I did cry, because I sent them, because I had enough pets and couldn’t keep them and knew it. If she has nine cats, she will always have pets. Maybe not so many, but yeah, some. And if that is a dealbreaker, leave- now.
There are no basements in Florida.
Besides, that wouldn’t get rid of all the hair and dander. I second someone else’s suggestion to look for a campground, but TBH they are probably full too. Maybe somewhere an hour or two away?
Two statements that should be taken with a grain of salt:
- It’s okay, Baby, I had a vasectomy
- I swear, Baby, the cats are only staying for a little while
She might not have meant to lie to you. The mother of one of my friends fosters a lot of cats. She means to find them good homes, and she mostly does. But only mostly. For every group of cats that moves in “temporarily” one stays. Cats are really insidious that way.
Pretty much this. I mean seriously here you are suffering the heebie jeebies in Ms. Dolittle’s house, and you think some how, some way there’s really some future point where she’s not going to be covered up in animals in some form or fashion. Sorry for being harsh. but you’re being a fool.
Anyone who has allowed her residence to become home to 9 cats is doing so very voluntarily. The cats are not going to be adopted and she refuses to subject them to a shelter where they will be euthanized. This is a decision that she is entirely within her rights to make.
I’ve dated multi-cat rescue women living in stink filled houses. They were great people, but the cats owned the house. They were her kids. This scenario is idiotic, and a no win for you. In the end you will be judged to be selfish and heartless if you push her on this topic. You know this already. You need to go home.
Heck, I’m an animal person and even if I were a dude there is no way I would live with someone who had a stinky house and didn’t even know how many cats they had. I mean, good god, it’s not like they’re ants that all look alike and come by the hundred. What are the chances they are getting good care if she doesn’t even know how many she has? For all she knows, #9 could be sick and slowly dying in the basement. There is also no reason for the dog to stink unless there is some medical condition that needs to be treated (ear infections can stink and are painful!). IMO, regardless of your view of pets, people who take on living animals and don’t take proper care of them are, de facto, nutters/irresponsible/extremely clueless and intellectually lazy, none of which I desire in a mate. I have more respect for a non-pet-person who realizes they are not cut out for pet ownership and takes the responsibility to put the animal in an appropriate situation.
No, she seems to know each of them by name and personality, and spends a lot of her day taking care of them, feeding them, cleaning litterboxes, etc. She’s not neglecting them.
But the smell isn’t getting any better, either.
Yeah, no kidding. “I know you said no cats, but I have this one cat that I’m trying to find a home for” seems OK. “I have these 7-9 cats that I’m trying to find a home for…”
She’s a cat hoarder. Get out, get out, get out.
Honestly, unless the sex is amazing, I’d see about changing your return ticket to leave immediately. I can’t stand cat stench and I’d be tempted to stake out a tent in the front yard rather than live in a house like that. (I am not anti-cat in general, but strong cat smell is just revolting to me.)
And from now on, be serious about pets being a deal-breaker!
Oh, and I think she KNOWS how many cats there are, but she’s she’s ashamed to tell me the exact number so when I ask, I get vague stuff, b like"More than you care to know," and “A lot.” But I’ve seen seven in one room at one time, and I think there are a few more around the house.
To Ludovico: purely an accident, I assure you.
Regular people with pets don’t have nine cats. I mean, I have one. I would happily have two if I had the space, but I don’t see going beyond that.
If she has the house arranged around the cats there is no way she doesn’t want them around and is just trying to find them new homes. Dedicated bathrooms? You have yourself a genuine Crazy Cat Lady. She may well be awesome in other ways but if pets are your dealbreaker, get out now, because she will always have them.
Nine cats would be a dealbreaker for me, and I love animals dearly. Yikes!
Well, I’ve been considering my options, and for now I’m going to try to stick it out–I’m a fiction writer, and this is great material. (That’s my rationale pretty much every miserable experience I have, and it sometimes works out. I’ve gotten some pretty good stories about crazy stuff I’ve tolerated, but nine cats is a new one.) I’m NOT allergic, just unhappy at the stench, so I’ll be okay physically.
Well, I’m in Central Florida, so he could come stay with me . . . except I have a dog. That and PRR’s a complete stranger and all.
(But my dog’s cool; he doesn’t smell or shed. Honestly. I’ve only had him a few weeks and didn’t realize that when I got him, so it’s a bonus to add to his sweet and non-barking personality.)
But this isn’t right. I could totally date a guy with one dog or cat. I am not really anti-pet, though I come off that way sometimes.
I could not date a guy with more than one dog or a cat. So I guess my dealbreaker is “one pet per person, unless they are tank or aquarium critters”.
I am sorry, OP. That sounds positively nauseating. Cats are the worst - good cat owners are good cat owners but bad cat owners are terrible. You good cat owners should be pissed at these people who make you look bad, letting their cats walk all over the clean dishes, on the counters, nose through whatever food they want. Bleh.