This, squared. Not just because she’s a crazy cat lady but because she’s a liar. You told her in plain English “I can’t stay in a house filled with cats” and she hid the fact that that’s exactly what was in store for you. I would be pissed off that I didn’t get a heads-up call saying, “I tried to get rid of the cats like I promised but I haven’t had any takers and/or changed my mind. I hope you’ll come anyway.”
But I’m an exceptionally well-mannered, and totally housebroken, complete stranger!,
Meanwhile, I’m taking notes on all the lunacy around me–my laptop was missing this morning. It was taken out of the living room, where I left it for the night, because of expected mayham that the cats might perform on it. I’m unaware of what cats might do with a closed laptop sitting on the table, and will inquire what I was being protected against, though maybe I don’t want to know.
Well, they could knock it onto the floor, I guess.
PEE ON IT! Cats pee everywhere if they don’t have clean litterboxes and I can’t imagine she does. And cat pee reeks to high heaven.
Don’t see what you are complaining about. You were looking for pussy and now you have more than you can stand…and a dog too.
On first read, I thought you were suggesting that I pee on it.
She does seem to have litterboxes in abundance for the cats.
Pussy jokes stopped being funny about twelve posts up. But thanks anyway.
Uh. I suppose that might stop the cats from doing so. Or, they might all pee on it, as sort of an alpha male thing. 
Cats can and will pee on stuff out of spite; mine have.
C’mon, it’s a bit tasteless to use this lady and your time in her home for material, don’t you think? It sucks that she wasn’t honest enough w/ herself to be honest w/ you, but still…she thinks you’re staying for her and if you’re not, that’s just cruel.
If I was on a date w/ a guy I really liked and at the end he said, “I hated this but it will make a **hilarious **blog post to amuse thousands of people!” you know I’d be hurt enough to consider leaving his parts in more than one county.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. I think people have been caught by this trap for decades - if not centuries. “Honestly hon, next time you see me I will (have gotten a divorce/quit drugs/gotten rid of the cats). Really!”
Never believe that they are going to do something, until they have actually done it.
Hmm… Well, despite my best efforts, and having only two pets, I managed to find myself in the same situation. I might mop my floors 2-3 times a day, but I have not been able to get rid of that awful pervasive stench of pee.
So I started seeing a guy recently, who, without ever making me feel like a failed piece of shit about it, offered to help me with this problem. He didn’t blame my personality, or frame the offer of help in a context that suggested that I am a terrible person because I have been unable to get control of this problem.
He borrowed a sprayer from a friend and came over to my house one morning. We moved all the furniture out of three different rooms (one room at a time) and he sprayed everything down with bleach water from the walls about 1’ above the floor, down to the baseboards and every last nook and cranny. I have hardwood and tile floors. We let the bleach water soak into the grout for a bit. This was very much a team effort. It wasn’t like he came over to clean my house while I sat on the couch eating bonbons and calling out instructions. I could not do the spraying and mopping because the bleach fumes triggered my asthma, but I helped him move the furniture in and out and when he brought the area rugs out to my back porch for me, I took over the steam cleaning detail.
We worked together as a team for about three hours and got my house pretty much pee-smell-free. My suggestion is that you offer to help her. “You’ve probably gotten used to it because you live with it, but the pee smell is pretty bad in here. I’d like to help you out with that. Do you have a couple hours tomorrow at 2 so we can get started on it? I’ve got some ideas that will help you out.”
Believe me, my friend got L-A-I-D for his kindness. And he got a private pole dance performance to boot.
Think: gentle, loving, nonjudgmental. Don’t tell her “You need to clean this shit up!” I go deaf at any sentence that begins with “you need to” especially if it comes from a booty call, who doesn’t need to be tellin’ me what I need, if you can dig me. But if you approach it like “I’m your friend and I want to help you with this problem I’ve observed,” you just might be able to get her to work together with you to make the place tolerable during your stay. I’m sure that was my friend’s motive. (That and he’s 20,000 kinds of awesome.)
I think PRR with his pet problems needs to go cold turkey - no pets, period. He seems to have an unusually difficult time with this. 
You’re in Florida, the weather is beautiful right now, go out and do stuff if you don’t want to leave early.
It’s not like I planned on this great source of horrific material, or that I would ever tell her that at least I can use this stuff in a story sometime. Just trying to make the best of a bad situation.