I can’t see that I’m stirring up shit. I have not insulted anyone. I have not used profanity. I have not called anyone any sort of name. The nearest I have come to making it about me is to admit prior (and hopefully distant) misbehavior on my part. All I have done is wish Lynn well, agreed that she has the right to her privacy, granted that the board administration is not obliged to explain its personnel decisions, and suggest by the posts I linked to that any explanation would be disbelieved in some quarters anyway.
I thought about asking if you were wearing your mod hat when you called me a jerk. But I won’t, partly because I have often called myself a jackass and partly because I don’t wish to move you any further into a pother. Please forgive me if I have vexed you.
I am completely vexed by the interactions which have taken place in this thread. I mean I understand the words and the sentences seem to be grammatically correct for the most part, but the content and context? No entiendo.
I haven’t been an active mod for some time now. In fact, my admin title is mostly courtesy now. I can and do perform some mod duties these days…mostly to do with banning spammers and removing their spam. In mod email, I’ve let the other staff know some of my problems, and that I probably was going to be of even less help than usual. I was not removed from duty because of anything I’d done on here. Nor have I let the board’s problems drive me away. I am not as active on here because of things that are going on in my meatspace life. I do participate in some other online activities, ones that don’t require a span of an hour or two at a time in order to deal with.
As it happens, I have some pretty serious new medical issues to deal with right now. I have very limited time to spend online. Sometimes I might think that I’m able to spend a while online, and then I have to go and do something else. This might mean that I’m unable to read and respond on the SDMB for a few days at a time. Somehow, the board manages to get along without me. I do try to read the board at least once a day, and participate in some discussions, but I don’t always get what I want. I probably will spend the rest of my life dealing with these new issues. I have always had some medical problems, but I have some brand new ones now in addition to the old ones.
In addition, both my parents are in extremely frail health. My father is in and out of the hospital on a semi-monthly basis. My mother is also in bad health…and she has Alzheimer’s pretty bad. So when my dad goes into the hospital, we have to find somewhere for my mom to go, as he usually takes care of her. I think that we’ve persuaded him that they need to go into a retirement home, where someone can give them their medicines (both are diabetic, and my mother is on insulin, and both have other problems) and, more importantly, they can eat a proper diet and someone is able to check on them several times a day.
It’s best if I just consider my mother essentially dead. She has moments of lucidity, but for the most part, the woman that I once called Mama is dead and gone. However, I can’t grieve her and get on with my life, because her body is still alive and needs to be taken care of. And sometimes, she has these moments of lucidity, and my mother is back among the living for a few minutes or hours. Then I have to watch and listen to her go away again, to that empty lightless cave.
Take care of yourself,** Lynn** and my best wishes to you and your family. I have some understanding of what you’re going through, and it’s heartbreaking.
Sorry to have caused a disturbance and best of luck Lynn and I hope you get better soon. My parents are aging but I have been lucky that they are doing fairly well so far. So I don’t really know what you are going through.
I have been through this twice now, with both of my grandmothers; one of whom was basically a surrogate parent for me for much of my childhood. It’s a complete and total nightmare. You have this need to grieve the person that you lost, but you can’t really fully grieve because physically they’re still there, and you see little glimpses of the person they used to be, which makes it all the harder. My grandmother loved children and used to know the names, birthdates, birth weights, favorite colors, first-grade teachers, etc., of all her children and all her 30+ grandchildren. Now I go to visit her and she doesn’t know who I am.
Anyway, this is all to say, I’m sorry, Lynn. I can imagine that it’s ten times worse with an actual parent. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I wish I had helpful platitudes to share but I really don’t think there are any. It’s better if there are other family members to help share the burden, but even that only helps so much.
I hope you turn the corner soon, Lynn, and are able to return and give your full attention to the board of which you’re such a key and irreplaceable part.
