It’s weird that almost all the positive reviews of her book on Amazon sound like the trite and generic cookbook blurbs of some publicist. The only ones that sound genuine (except the vegan’s weird review) are the negative reviews.
Nah, it’s not weird at all. Amazon reviews are full of shills. And the people who have complaints are the most likely to bother writing.
That’s consistent with the results of a recent comprehensive study on prostitution in New Zealand, where it was decriminalised a few years ago. It’s probably generally true everywhere.
The research all supports statistics at around this quantity.
But it doesn’t really matter what you think “abuse” means because the study that was mentioned presumably defines the term the same way for prostitutes and for non-prostitutes, so the point becomes that whatever it is they’re calling “abuse” it happens more often among prostitutes than non.
I suppose an additional question is: if childhood abuse is correlated to prostitution, does that mean that childhood abuse causes prostitution, or that childhood abuse is correlated with other factors – poverty, say – that, in turn, are correlated with prostitution?
If a broad definition of ‘abuse’ is used, we don’t know how the results for prostitutes and non-prostitutes might differ. For instance, the abuse of prostitutes might heavily by in the category of rape, while others are reporting lewd comments. This would tend to support the idea of abuse as a causative factor in prostitution, and meaningless definition in other cases.
As I mentioned previously, many of these studies are seriously flawed because they are based on very subjective self-reporting, where people tend to be ‘inaccurate’ in their responses. Studies that include ‘verbal abuse’ may not distinquish between sexual comments from a parent-figure as opposed to comments from peers. You could include both if you wanted, but if they are not distinquished, the results would not be useful in establishing even a correlation, much less a cause and effect relationship.
There are studies that had detailed categorization of ‘abuse’ incidents. I don’t have any to cite, or know how they compare with simple surveys, but those could at least be examined to determine their validity. The subject of surveys, and polling, or even more comprehensive evaluations reminds me of a story from an old book on law, which related this anecdote (rephrased):
When a group of seminary students were asked if it was allowable to smoke while praying, they responded unanimously that is was not. When the question was reworded to ask if it was allowable to pray while smoking, they responded unanimously that it was.
Just as a prosecutor can use a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, a clever or negligent survey can skew the results based on the way the question is asked.
Maceration of the abdomen? That would mean soaking it in a sitzbath?
I was sexually abused in childhood, repeatedly. I have never done any sex work. Instead, I grew up to be a librarian and language geek. But then I was raised in socioeconomic privilege, as a white middle-middle-class suburban American, which, as** matt_mcl** said, economics definitely has something to do with it.
Throughout my life, at times, I’ve felt the temptation to act out sexually, although I don’t act upon it. I connect this with my experience of sexual abuse, and for me it’s a feeling of wanting to reassert my own autonomy of my body and my sexuality—which others who have no right to them have laid a claim to—and I want their grubby little fingers off my autonomy, so to speak.
Even though I don’t act out, the possibility of my doing so is a sort of psychological release for me to feel that I’m in control of my own body and sexuality. The long-term aftereffects of sexual abuse have had some impact on my adult relationships, and I’m determined not to let that get in the way, that I have the power to choose precisely *where *and *when *and *how *and with whom I engage in erotic stuff, without anyone exerting any coercion over my choices. To feel secure in my own sexual autonomy is crucial, and it’s a neverending battle. If I ever did act out, or if I had become a sex worker, my very conscious motivation for it would be to satisfy myself that I’m in control of my own self. This cuts right to the core of my essential personhood itself.
This. Yes. Exactly this is a **hugely **important consideration at the core of the whole issue. I have spent my whole life rebuilding my self after that.
You story seems to be repeated often in the sex industry. Congratulations on surviving, and avoiding further pitfalls in a landscape someone else forced on you. If it’s not too difficult a subject for you, could you tell us your opinions regarding the definition of ‘sexual abuse’?
FWIW, IMHO it’s for each individual to know when the abuse she’s been subjected to is sexual. In my own mind in my own experience I have very clear boundaries of what’s sexual abuse and what is nonsexual abuse, and I know when that line has been crossed.
This has not always been so clear and conscious for me, sadly. I’ve arrived at my present clarity after years of reflection and learning from experience. For many years I was totally in denial of the fact that I’d been raped, and it was only after relating the incident to others (here at the SDMB, in fact) that someone pointed out to me point blank: “You were raped.” Then I was all duh, how could I have stayed in denial of this obvious fact all those years? Reflecting on not only the abuse but my history of denial of it led me to become much more conscious of the dynamics of sexual abuse survival. I’ve been reading The Courage to Heal, and while it’s often too overwhelming to get through, it has been very helpful in making sense of whatall has happened to me.
Again, I place my trust in each individual to know when the abuse they suffered crossed that line of being sexual. The complication with this principle is when we block out the awareness from our own selves.
Please don’t http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maceration_(food)"]macerate yourself** Johanna**
I’ve been doing it wrong 
Thank you for your response. You sound courageous.
lol
There’s also a selection bias in a lot of these studies, because many sex workers don’t even come to the attention of researchers unless they’re on the street or involved in some sort of program designed to “help” them (and which ones are going to get involved in those programs?). Melissa Farley’s stuff is notorious for this, and since she’s one the most quoted sources for statistics about the mental health of sex workers, well…
I don’t know about the stats, but I do know a bit about what makes incest survivors tick. I was molested by my stepfather from the ages of 10 to 12. (He stopped only when he literally dropped dead in front of me as he was about to do it again.) I spent many, many, many years in therapy and learned a lot about my life response as well as the opposite extreme. The underlying issue is that the abuser totally destroys your boundaries. The younger you are, the more effect it can have if you didn’t have a chance to form proper boundaries.
There’s a sort of set up process that goes on before the actual abuse starts. The abuser tears the child down and makes her feel worthless. Then when he shows her this unwanted attention, she begins to think it’s a good thing because it makes her feel loved and like someone wants her. It’s a very sick mind game to play with a child because you’re left with this feeling that you wanted it somehow, even though you certainly didn’t. You just wanted love from this person but it gets all mixed up with this physical stuff you don’t understand but you know you don’t like.
Lots of girls go one of two ways with this (with lots of in-betweens): They can become sex addicts or they can shut themselves off entirely. Before my stepdad died I constantly thought about running away. I even thought that being a prostitute wouldn’t be any worse than living with him. I imagine that’s part of it for some girls who take that route. They might also be looking for that feeling of being wanted and loved, and sex is one way they were taught to find that before. I’m not saying these are even conscious choices. Most of the time, they probably aren’t. Part of it also is about not believing you have any autonomy over your own body.
Me, I went the other way. I refuse to let anyone have control over me and I always kept myself very tightly reined in and in control of myself. Lots of defenses built in there…
I’d like to put in here, I know a family who has a mid-teen, I think about 15, who they say has been ‘molested’ by someone in their mid-20’s. The victim was absolutely livid when the parents called an abrupt halt to the relationship. Now, is this young person at age 15, who was undoubtedly preyed upon by an older predator, is this person going to be screwed up in years to come? Is age 15 still a child, or is it more borderline?
I can only extrapolate from what I think I would have done at that age, but I think it would be a little different than if she were younger. I can see it messing up her future relationships with guys, but I don’t think she’d need as much therapy…
The facts of the situation may be slightly skewed by the parents perspective. Suppose the girl is actually 16, and her boyfriend was 20? The laws may vary for that situation, but it doesn’t seem impossible that there could be a morally justified relationship there. I’m not defending what sounds more like a case of predation though. But there are many young people who voluntarily enter sexual relationships that are unwise. That is not the same thing as using force, or coercion where there is an unjustifiable imbalance of power.
scm1001 said:
ouryL said:
Check out the links provided by alice_in_wonderland and sciam1001. (Well, the first and third by alice, anyway - the other two didn’t work for me. Also, the links don’t work until you delete the colons at the end.) They define their terms fairly clearly.
They are also well aware of the problems many of you mention.
With references at the end.
Alice’s third link is the same paper as sciam’s.
http://www.mja.com.au/public/issues/jan20/fleming/fleming.html
Again, nothing about mere lewd comments, “KISSING” song, or even sexual activity between peers (within 5 years of age).
That’s 20% had sexual contact involving genital contact, and ignoring consensual activity with peers.
ShibbOleth said:
If you read closely, Cillasi had ticklers in quote marks. I think the point was not to say that tickling per se is sexual abuse, but rather that some abusers use tickling as a cover for groping.
Gary T, your link doesn’t appear to go where you think it does. I see no definitions or discussion of abuse on that page, and can’t figure out where it might be located there.
matt_mcl said:
That’s a very valid, if not the most important, question.
The problem as I see it, and as ShibbOleth mentions early in this thread, is that sexual abuse victims can be notoriously poor self-reporters due to the seeming “normality” of their childhood experiences. As many of us do, we tend to think how we were raised is the norm.
Awareness of sexual abuse and it’s many layers of degree often only occurs after an intervening experience.
Just as a parent who beats a child and considers it discipline, a prostitute in denial may describe her early experiences as “his way of showing me love” and her current experience as “having a good time” or “making money.”
It makes sense. It would be pretty hard to work at a job if you were aware that you are being taken advantage of for any length of time.
The sex workers with whom I’ve been acquainted carry many of the markers for early sex abuse including self-destructive behavior. And their early death rate is high. (Not a statment of blame but rather of circumstances which accompany the work.)