Did my wife make the right decision? Biological Clock or Sick Days?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Yikes, y’all are in your 30’s? I learned in, er, Psychology class (the developmental section) that after the age of 35: 1: Chances of getting pregnent go down, and 2: rate of birth defects go up.

(Is that right, y’all? It’s been a while.)

Also, my mom’s sister wasn’t born until my grandparents were over 30. Her memories of her parents? “They always seemed tired.”

So, if you’re gonna, get with the baby making! Hehe. You’re already gonna be near (if not in, I don’t know your exact age) your 50’s before your kid moves out.

22

Merry Christmas everyone! Mrs.Phlosphr checking in…

Hmm, I never knew my husband was such a prolfic poster :slight_smile:

Anyhoo, all of what you have said is very true and yes we are looking to start a family soon. My biological clock is tick tick ticking away and I believe we are ready.

“In other words, when she’s in the home office it’s still a solid, 8-hour+ day, yes? Executive level, huh?..”

Yes, after January 2nd I will be working 32 hours a week from my office in our home. I work for a publishing house here in Ct and they were gracious enough to allow me to work from my home bound virtual office. We are in the text book industry and I am director of affiliate relations, much of what I do can be done from a virtual office, including meetings, presentations etc…etc…you get the picture.

Starting a family is high on our list of things to do, and over the last 5 years has become a pinacle goal in our lives. I will take a leave of absence when we do have our first baby, and possibly make the leave indefinite. Mr. Phlosphr gets the picture trust me ladies. :slight_smile: He’s going to make a great dad!

“Daycare is not a Hideous Evil. The little tyke spending a few hours a day away from the parents can do the entire family good, and improves the chances of the little rugrat growing up to be a highly socialized executive him or herself.”

I understand this and he/she will be in some sort of daycare. Honestly, I am extremely excited, absolutely elated at the prospect of having children…I’m sure he will tell you the second we find out :slight_smile: From what I know of the SDMB you all seem like a very nice online community.
I must go now, I have a Porketta Roast that needs to go in the oven, and 15 people to prepare for!

Oh and I suppose I should ask hubby what:
“No more flaming pitch catapults, etc. for you.”

means…He better not be getting into another project, especially anything that has to do with flames!

23

Uh oh, I got Phlosphr in trouble!

24

I work out of a home office. I’m the mother of three children, whom I adore. I’ve had poncy titles such as ‘International Vice President’, and ‘Regional Vice President’. My husband has stayed home to raise our children since our youngest was born.

Having given my qualifications, I now give my opinions:

  • Children are wonderful. There is no right time to have children. Go for it.
  • Being pregnant and giving birth is a job for a young person. You’ll ask yourself why you waited so long.
  • It is nearly impossible to work out of a home office when you have very young children. As a mother, you will be unable to ignore their crying and calling for you. The emotional bonds you will have with your baby will make it impossible to ignore the little mite if you think he or she needs you. I was able to work out of my house only when my youngest was around four. Think about daycare. Or work at a desk at the local library for four hours a day.
  • The best piece of furniture for a home office, if you have children, is a door that closes.
25

We know why we waited so long…we were both extremely career minded and we wanted to have time to ourselves, to love one another as a couple for a few years (7) to travel etc…etc…

I know I’m going to be a great dad…I don’t really care that I’ll be in my 50’s when they are in their 20’s. I hope to be fit as a fiddle when I’m in my 50’s :slight_smile:

26

My parents were in their 60’s through the last half of my 20’s

I’m still happy they had me. :slight_smile:

27

One thing that I don’t understand is why your wife would ask the publishing house to go to the expense of furnishing your house with a home office – including equipment for video conferencing – when she is about to try to start a family and ask for an indefinite leave of absence. That doesn’t seem quite fair to the employer.

It sounds like you are at just the right age to start a family and that’s great. And I can understand why she would want to try to juggle both. But she can’t really continue to “be accessible by others in the House at all times during the day” and still give the child the attention she or he will need.

28

Trust me, from personal experience:

When it comes to keeping away Germans, ALCOHOL WIPES DO NOTHING!! :eek:

Hell, I think the alcohol even attracts them!! :eek: :eek:

:wink:

29

Mrs.Phlosphr has been with the House for quite some time, and has worked her way up the ladder with much heartache and toil. It is safe to say she loves her position, and does not want to stop working all together at this point in her life. This is a very big factor for her, she and I want deperately to have children, but being as career minded as we are it is difficulty to quit something we have spent years building.
The bottom line is starting a family. It will be the most exciting endeavor we have taken up thus far in our marriage. Just knowing it is close by makes the butterflies in my stomach stir up. I believe the main point here is fear. Fear of losing something which we have built. The home office was not a rash decision, it is merely a means for her to work for the same company out of our home. She is fortunate to even be able to do this…I wish I could work from home.
As a matter of fact, we were talking about the views presented here last evening, and we smiled at the fact that people are telling us about the finer points of having children: Pooping in the tub, drooling excessively, eating everything…and we got more excited than ever to start trying to have a baby…
Philosophically, I look back at my parents who had no one to tell them how to do to raise us, and I find my self thinking how fortunate we are to know what we are getting into…

30

Funny, I read my own words in retrospect and think: Yeah right! :slight_smile:

31

Little anecdote to let you know that you don’t really get it until you’ve been home with the kid for about a week.

In the hospital after giving birth to my daughter the change of shift happened and a new nurse came to introduce herself. She says ‘hello Mrs. Tanookie, I’m … and I’ll be your nurse today.’ I laughed and told her not to call me Mrs. Tanookie - no one calls me that, it makes me sound like somebody’s mother!’

She nicely pointed out that as of the other day, I now AM somebody’s mother. Even though I had years of trying and then 9 months of brewing and glowing and baby stuff assembly and then almost 2 days of labor and a couple of days with baby I still didn’t process the information completely. Heck with a 2 1/2 year old and a 3 month old I still shock myself with the realization that I will have 2 teenagers on my hands in a few years. Sometimes I’m still amazed that I am somebody’s mother. Hell, when they let us walk out of the hospital with her I was shocked… I remember thinking ‘that’s it? - sign a few papers and check the car seat and then have a nice life?’

Getting the munchkin girl home and sitting up with her at 2am while she cried for no reason we could solve and looking at her through sleep deprived haze I realized that for years everything this little person wore, ate, played with, watched, learned was my responsibility completely floored me. I knew all this before I even got pregnant but I didn’t KNOW it until we brought her home. I can’t explain the difference but once you guys make a little one and get that lightbulb moment you will understand what I mean.

Oh and don’t look to your parents for much practical advice. My MIL raised two kids quite well and yet she seems to have forgotten everything. Watching her change a diaper is a hoot! She pats the wipes on baby’s bottom so gently. I explain to her they are called wipes for a reason and if poo was involved she’d be in trouble. She also considers us pretty irreverant as we try and let the kids test their limits beyond what she thinks is appropriate. :slight_smile:

32

We’ll be the last of our immediate family to have children… my younger brother (27) and his wife have a little boy and her older brother (39) has teenagers. We are very ready to start! Oh and the grandparents sound very close to your MIL…especially my MIL, she say’s: " …I vowed never to change another diaper after having dealt with the cloth diapers we had YOU in…"

:slight_smile:

Cloth…I can’t imagine dealing with cloth diapers now…