I’ll let you in on a secret – Obama’s grandmother did not exist until a certain Time Paradox created her.
On 10/23/08, Barack Obama’s Hawaii-bound airplane actually crashed and burned in the Mauna Loa volcano. As a result, the Earth was plunged into a 7-years-long Tribulation from which several heroes emerged – Buck Rogers, Luke Skywalker, Ender Wiggin, and my pet ghost named Nathaniel Thorne. All of us (except Nathaniel) experienced the Tribulation, until it was “reset” by opening a wormhole in 2015 and travelling back in time to 10/22/08 (where they met me, KGS, who was trapped in a parallel Time Zone and therefore didn’t experience the Tribulation either) where I led them to defeat the dragon atop the mountain, saved the future president’s plane, as well as the fate of nations. (You might have seen a glimse of the mushroom cloud swallowing Hawaii whole, if you looked in the right direction.) The Time Paradox also gave Barack a new grandmother, albeit one dying of cancer, sadly.
In other words, everyone on Earth (except myself and Nathaniel) experienced the Seven Years Tribulation from 2008-2015, but you don’t remember, because we traveled back in Time to save the President-elect and all your stupid consumerist asses as well. You can all thank me now.