In a thread about royal butt wipers, I am quite okay with you not having video!
I am surprised that no one yet has shared the story of how Edmund II died.
Thus it happened: one night, this great and powerful king having occasion to retire to the house for relieving the calls of nature, the son of the ealdorman Edric, by his father’s contrivance, concealed himself in the pit, and stabbed the king twice from beneath with a sharp dagger, and leaving the weapon fixed in his bowels, made his escape.
Talk about being a pain in the ass!
I have the same question. What can they learn that would be useful?
Medical information is all I can think of. DNA would be easy enough to get in other ways.
I also recall reading that those nice big galleries in Versailles were originally filled in with wood construction, two stories of apartments for the thousands of courtiers and their servants, etc. With a lack of indoor plumbing and a long distance to go to outdoors, apparently for some of them finding a quiet corner for a one or two was par for the course. After all, it wasn’t their place.
Even today, driving the highways of India, you can see where huge rows of almost standard-sized discs of cow dung are left to dry in the sun after being shaped. It’s a fuel for cooking. After all, it’s more available, less work and cheaper than any alternative.
There’s a scene in Road to Wellville where Dr. John Harvey Kellogg boasts about only eating whole grains, “My own stools, Sir, are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit”
Medical information, in general, is supposed to be extremely private information. I cannot give a factual answer about DNA, but the DOD has always been keeping track of research on next-gen bioweapons. Also, would you go around giving DNA (+ stool) samples, for unknown purposes, to people who do not have your best interests at heart?
I might fling some shit at them
I believe Kim Jong-Un and his sister also travel with their own commode so that their waste can safety travel back to North Korea with them.
Um, yes? I mean, I do it all the time, as does anyone else who’s not head of government for a nation.
Right, you had to be pretty high ranking to get the job, and there was competition for it. Even though it was not pleasant, the Groom of the Stool had the monarch’s undivided attention for at least several minutes every day. The Groom could talk to the King about relatives who needed jobs or money, or put in an argument for one side or another in a dispute, etc…
At all events, I suppose wiping it would be a little better than kissing it, which I’m sure went on all the time at court.
I have a book, THe Lisle Letters which is a condenstation of a six volume compilation of the letters of Lord Lise. He was one of the last of the Plataganets, administrator of Emglish Calais. Henry VIII was well aware of his dad’s tenuous claim to the throne and paranoid about possible contenders. He had Lisle arrested and all his letters seized and they sat in the royal archives for centuries.
The letters demonstrate a massive giftocracy, where nobles contended for royl favour by assorted gestures, including rich and exotic gifts. (Eel pie, unusual furs, jewelry and other notable baubles, etc.) IIRC Jack Horner, for example, earned his place in Mother Goose rhyme by stealing a deed for some prime property, which was the “plum” baked into a pie to be presented to Henry VIII.
When it comes to wiping the King’s arse - and I say this as a most loyal citizen of His Majesty’s kingdom - or eating eel pie…
… that royal rectum is going to be exceptionally clean.
Offices under the Crown could be lucrative for their holders - indeed officials were expected to supplement their meagre official salaries with scams and rakeoffs of various kinds, which was why they were sought after, and anyone would have been thought a fool for not looking out for his own interest.
Samuel Pepys bought the office of the previous Clerk of the Acts, and received an offer of £1000 to be bought out himself within a few weeks, which he seriously considered.
That hits the topic I was going to mention. Consider that kind often lived in a world where they had to be worried about literally being stabbed in the back. Now consider how vulnerable you are when you take a seat to relieve yourself. You’d want anyone around to be very trustworthy, too.
A strange foreshadowing of what’s said to have happened to Edward III (albeit that wasn’t to do with his toilet habits)
I’ve heard two versions - a red hot poker, and pouring in molten lead; in both versions, a funnel was used so no external injuries were obvious.
Wasn’t it Edward II that allegedly died by hot poker? I probably have it totally wrong, but I thought he was (allegedly) killed that way in reference to his (again, alleged) homosexuality.
Also and more importantly, the Monarch Song confirms it:
“Henry Three built the abbey, Ed One hated Scots
A red hot poker killed Ed Two, that must have hurt him lots”
It seems that even Egyptian Pharaohs recognized the value of a good poo tender