For those who wish to discuss the current and hypothetical issues regarding gender and bathroom usage, please take that to another thread (there are several to choose from, or start your own). The OP here is asking about people’s past experiences with single-sex schools.
Thanks.
Much appreciated,** Asimovian**
Catholic boys’ schools, grades 6-12. Middle was sort of ruralish out-of-the-way and High was big city suburban. Fine education and not as uptight as what you’d expect on a whole range of issues.
The Middle School was a 30 minute commute away between small towns, and it was located “away from distraction”; that combined to how my own home was itself not in-town meant very scarce opportunity to socialize off-class with my classmates (we’re talking a time not every home even had a telephone) and reduced opportunities to socialize with my hometown age group. The High School was in the big-city ‘burbs and by then we lived in the city (and were older) so the logistics improved, thankfully. Plenty of girls’ schools around for organized cross-socializing and higher population density; but also, more intense social-class issues and a move away from hometown so having to rebuild from nothing.
As to social aspects, in hindsight I don’t think that all things being equal co-ed vs. single-sex, per se, would have made a huge difference for me. It is and was obvious I was not a “social” type to begin with – later in life we figured I had anxiety/control issues from very early on – preferring the library to the playground and seemingly sharing little common interests with the majority of my age cohort.
Religious v. secular/liberal, OTOH would have been a bigger factor – the congregation involved was of old-school Marian inclination so the indoctrination included a stupefying level of pedestalling of women, and that was hard to shake off. ( Worst part is it’s counterproductive because then even in casual situations you’d get assaulted by “OMG, will she think I’m trying to come on to her and feel assaulted” thoughts getting in the way of normal interaction.)
I went to a 100-year old boys’ grammar school in the 80s, the school was focused on hard sciences and sports and worked hard at maintaining a good reputation (that wasn’t entirely justified, IMO). Everybody called each other by their surnames, wore a full uniform including blazer with the school’s crest, and was a member of the school’s four houses. The teachers wore a black gown with mortar board and tassel during assemblies.
There was plenty of rough and tumble on the sports fields and even more at break time. We invented and often played a form of rugby that was actually even more violent with the rules mostly stripped away; punching in the face and crotch was not allowed, nor were clotheslines. As well as rugby we played cricket, badminton, track and field, swimming, cross training, weight training, and cross country. Never football (soccer). I played for the school’s first and second rugby teams but hated cricket.
Socially people generally kept firmly in groups they were comfortable in. As it was a selective school (and free) there was a wide range of socio-economic backgrounds but most were in the lower middle class range. That isn’t to say there wasn’t mixing, depending on the activity. Off the sports field, chess and bridge tended to have everyone mixing but after the match/game people would hover back to their group of friends.
As it was all boys there were probably fewer distractions in classes, and more social anxiety outside of them. It’s difficult to compare, though, as the years 11-18 are thorough and formative. Previously I went to a mixed school and after high school to a mixed university; both times there was very little in the way of a distracting or repeatedly disruptive element. It being a selective grammar (you had to take the 11 Plus to be accepted) was more of an influence than it being all boys, the jump from my previous school to it in academic ability was huge and I went from being an all ‘A’ student to struggling to stay in the top half. I suppose working hard and playing harder were good distractions.
Technically I went to a men’s only college but in practice it was mixed gender and I went to classes, clubs and events with lots of women. But strictly speaking,I was enrolled at the College of XY and my female classmates were enrolled at the College of XX even though we shared coursework, professors, and campuses. But not dormitories or administrations, good heavens!
All girls high school ('76 - '82) and it was hell for this baby dyke, absolute hell. I was forced to wear dresses and skirts and study “home economics” and typing when I would have vastly preferred woodwork and world history. We were required to be ladylike, something I never managed and students and teachers alike treated me as quite the freak. I responded by getting very fat, suicidal, self harming and pretending to have boyfriends. The school eventually called in a psychologist who tried to turn me into a real girl.
The message I was given at every turn was that I was wrong and needed fixing. I still feel bad about being better at using a drill than a violin. I was also the only student interested in computers and politics at a senior level so studied those via correspondence while my fellow students took more traditionally female subjects if they bothered to complete high school at all. Many left at 15 and very few went to university except for those who wished to meet and marry future doctors.
I cannot imagine a worse place for me. The teachers once revenged on me for some failure by nominating me, then a loud anti monarchist, to represent the school during a visit from the Queen, they dressed me in other girls’ uniform pieces as mine were shabby and did my hair and handed me a bouquet I was allergic to. I forgot the curtsey and was in detention a month.
It was just bloody awful.
They held combined dances with a nearby boys’ school but I managed to never attend.
I went to an all-boys school from year 7 to 9 (private), before and after that was co-ed (state). I absolutely hated it. I found the atmosphere to be hyper-masculine and uncaring, and I was quite delicate and sensitive at that age. So miserable was I that my parents took me out and put me in a local state school for my emotional well-being. I’m glad they did. My brother went to the same school and loved it, however, so I wouldn’t use my experience to make sweeping generalisations about single-sex schooling generally.
Single sex high school for a couple of years. It id no where near as much damage to my social skills with the other sex, as did the co-ed school I attended later.
I attended a women’s college for one year ('72-'73.) It was a rather pricey private school where the on-campus students were driving daddy’s year-old Mercedes and I was biking from home on a 3-speed, so I didn’t fit in socially at all.
I went to 2 social events - one at our “brother school” - where no one spoke to me all evening, and a dance at the Naval Academy, where no one spoke to me all evening. I can’t say if things would have been very different if I’d gone to a coed school. I was kinda shy in those days.
Not blaming the school - I should never have gone there. From the outside looking in, I was sure it was my school, but once I got there, I felt out of place. So I ended up dropping out and joining the Navy. When I finally went back to college, it was a large coed university and I was a older than most of my classmates, and I wasn’t as interested in having a social life.
I went to an all-female college for undergrad. This was presumably very different from going to a girl’s school in the K-12 years, as I was (more or less) an adult and it was entirely my choice to attend a single-sex school. I would absolutely do it again, although probably not at the same school – it was in a very dull town and I didn’t have a car.
Dances were organized by the social committee, and there were traditionally three a year (two open to all students, one for seniors that was like a college-level prom) although sometimes the committee arranged for additional dances. There were also other events like karaoke night, concerts, and comedy shows. Various student clubs also organized events for their members.
I’d say the major difference between our dances and those at co-ed schools was that while most students wanted to have a date for the dance, it was so common to just go with a group of friends that this wasn’t considered weird or pathetic. The senior dance required purchasing tickets (there was a fancy dinner as well as the dance itself), and the price for a couple’s ticket was a bit less than double the price of a single ticket. Again, the ideal situation for most students was having a real date, but seniors without dates typically paired off with a friend to save money. Some (including me) invited underclasswoman friends, which was exciting for them as this was the only way they’d get to attend before their own senior year. Not going to the senior dance at all was considered way sadder than not having a date.
When I attended a Maritime Academy the requirements for admission were Male between the ages of 17 to 22 an never married. As a Midshipman we were required to live on base and only the 1st classmen got liberty during the week and only on Wednesday night 5 to 12 midnight. The exception was 1st class officers could go on liberty every night they did not have duty.
In the 70s the male part of the requirement was dropped, and over time the age and never married was dropped. And the living on base was also dropped.
What was it like as male only. When we were in over sea’s ports there was a lot of interest as to the location of the houses of prostitution. When we had dances we called them pig pushes. And equator crossing happened.
Now that it is coed things have changed. Equator crossing is just a gathering not the full blown celebration it was. I could go on and on but I won’t.