The Doors of Perception.
When God closes doors, he opens windows — and it won’t boot up, dammit!
A woman once told me - after something horrible happened - that “God puts these obstacles in our path for a reason”. My answer was “Then he’s an asshole, isn’t he?”
That’s a legitimate theological discussion.
Just when I thought my diet was finally working… damn gravity and its practical jokes.
Didn’t you wonder why you woke up on the floor, and one of the cats was hanging from the ceiling fan?
I realised that later, but you caught it.
Something felt like the dog jumping up on the bed this morning. The thing is that the dog passed away a few years back. We did have an earthquake about that time, 4.1 on the Richter scale.
Probably not, sounds like a typical morning.
It was considerate of you to continue posting here while dead. We’d have missed you.
So were you resurrected already, or are you posting from the après vie?
Well, après moi, le déluge, so watch for rain
I was jolly sceptical of the claim, but (just in case) I ate a load of baked beans and lay face-down on my bed. 
The resulting volley of farts kept me securely in place. 
Not even death can stop me from posting in the SDMB! though a lack of internet connection would be hard to surmount.
So the next life has internet connections? That’s a relief to know. Is Windows 11 obsolete there yet?
Y’know, this isn’t the first time I’ve died, and the utter lack of sympathy and/or bereavement is rather unsettling. In fact, My Beloved has said that next time it happens she is just going to toss me in the Columbia River and marry the the first incredibly handsome and intelligent creature she encounters.
I dunno. Yesterday, at 8:33 AM I was working from home while YouTube videos were playing on the TV. You’d think I’d remember which video was playing during something like that, but nooo…
Come to think of it, didn’t something similar happen when Joshua was fighting some Canaanites or such like, or am I slowly forgetting my JW brainwashing too?
Of course or I wouldn’t been able to post, as for Windows 11 they were in the process of moving to linux when I was suddenly revived by the gravity thing.
No, I didn’t die . . . but I did find those missing truck keys I lost six years ago.
Tripler
Stupid things just were floatin’ along in the hallway. 
Not in the Southern Hemisphere, where everybody’s upside down.