I thought I felt something a little earlier, but I chalked it up to indigestion.
< swats burpo with rolled up newspaper >
It’s a fair cop.
Did you die when the earth lost gravity on 8-12-2026?
Yes.
Yes I did.
I would have been more concerned, but the Earth was not even destroyed:
I feel sorry for all the chumps and suckers who depended on their regular gravity service. See I signed up for the premium gravity back-up service (only $49.99/month). So when my gravity goes out I’m guaranteed to have a technician out to address the problem within the hour*
* Additional service and material charges may apply. Please see your terms of service for full details.
Relative to the Earth’s reference frame, it wouldn’t be a speed, it would be an acceleration, and the acceleration would be a small percentage of Earth’s normal gravity, so things would rise much more slowly than they ordinarily fall.
All the loose stuff on the Earth would rise up with a centripetal acceleration of 0.35 g at the equator, and less at higher attitudes. But with nothing to oppose this movement, the entire surface of Earth rise up and become less dense, and would liquify when the gravity returned. A bit like a gigantic soil liquefaction event.
No, but we did get a lot of rain and flooding, and I have water in my basement because the sump pump gave out. So not death, but almost as annoying.
Maybe that’s why we got so much rain. Gravity gave out, and we actually went up into the storm clouds.
You missed a percent sign there. It’s 0.35% of a g, or 0.0035 g.
While you were up into the storm clouds, here in the Midwest we went just a bit closer to the sun with no cloud cover. It was (and still is) damn hot.
You were a Rider On The Storm?
And next time he or someone like him posts something equally as stupid, people will believe it, and forget the last time. Unless they died in the Great Gravitational Hiccup of 2026.
But at least I learned about soil liquefaction.
Wouldn’t International Destruction of Earth Advisory Department (IDEAD) be a better name than IEDAB?
Actually it saved my life because I had just slipped heading down the stairs. It floated me back up and I was able to get my feet under me by the time gravity returned.
I thought I had superpowers but was unable to repeat the incident.
I’m not sure you people are showing the proper amount of gravitas.
There’s no such thing as gravity — the Earth sucks.
I didn’t realize the gravity of the situation.
I do believe that what people are not showing is the proper amount of anti-gravitas.
I wanna do that, what Doors do I need to go thru?