There needs to be a: “I put my dick in the crazy, it was a disaster, and I don’t know if I have the willpower to never do that again” option.
I’m still not even sure whether it was worth it, but I lean towards, “yes, yes it was.” You see, perhaps regrettably, I enjoy the crazy sometimes, and find it to be a turn on, strangely.
But I think the real key takeaway is to never, ever, breed with the crazy. I’ve managed to dodge that one, thankfully.
Yeah, I agree with this. Even the most tumultuous, least stable, socially outside the bounds of “normal” relationship is a relationship between two real people and the feelings involved are no different than any other, far more conventional relationship. The manner in which these feelings are communicated, received, etc. may vary (greatly).
This makes better sense to me.
My ex-fiancee was completely off her rocker during the last few years of our relationship. Genuine psychological problems, not just “geez, this woman is crazy!” stuff. She ended up spending more time in “stress center” hospitals than out during our relationship, and I spent one memorable Christmas holding her hand as she lay in a coma following a rather massive suicide attempt that not only nearly claimed her life, but caused self-control-lessening brain damage after she survived, and caused so much damage to her home that it had to be gutted and refurbished during the months she spent in physical and psychological therapy.
She made my life a living hell, but I genuinely loved her. When she was lucid, anyone could have seen her appeal. When she wasn’t… well, I knew what lay underneath, what potential was there if we could get her back on track regarding her meds and her therapy. Plus, there was something about caring for her which stabilized me; together, we were still better than we were apart. We even became engaged after that comatose Christmas. It took even more drastic behavior on her part months later-- behavior which demonstrated that she was going to begin hurting me as well as herself-- before I cut things off.
As far as the whole “putting my dick in the crazy” thing… holy shit, it was several years of the most amazing, mind-blowing, envelope-pushing sex I’ve ever had, or even could have imagined. I learned that I was a lot more open and willing to experiment than I ever thought, and I learned that a lot of my “limits” would easily get tossed aside when I was with someone I loved. A lot of it was due to her problems of inhibition and self-control, especially after the suicide attempt. A lot of it was due to the fact that being with me gave her a “safe space” to explore some of her more primal ideas. I did learn a lot about myself, and how far was still not “too far” when I was with someone I loved, and it definitely has enhanced the relationships I’ve had since. It’s been an interesting experience being the “teacher” with more recent partners. At the same time, after having my mind opened to the possibilities of where I could go with a lover, it’s been frustrating because we did things that have been off-limits to newer partners. I miss my ex-fiancee… both in the relationship sense (despite the horrible pain and sorrow I experienced then) and the physical sense.
Brilliant explanation.
Yes I have, and it fucking ruined my life. But she was fifteen years younger than me and so hot. Oh so hot. The longest legs ever, amazing boobs, very pretty, long auburn hair. And the sex was incredible.
When the cracks started to show after the first month I should have run away, but… the sex. And she was hot! Mood swings, periods of silence. Anger that came out of nowhere and disappeared after an hour or two. She slapped me hard round the face one night for no reason at all. Then a couple of blatant lies that I caught her out on but dismissed because… the sex.
Then she disappeared for four days and - without having ended the relationship with me - re-emerged in another, fully-formed relationship. And acted as if there was nothing out of the ordinary at all.
It drove me out of my fucking mind. I ended up in therapy. In retrospect I’ve armchair-diagnosed her as Borderline. She fits the behaviour criteria as well as an ‘at risk’ background, and this description echoes my experience perfectly.
I would never, ever want to repeat anything like that again. And thankfully I’m now in a wonderful, committed relationship with a lovely - and sane - girl.
But man, the sex.
Where is the “I put my dick in the crazy, it was a disaster, and I look forward to doing it again soon” option?
Been there, done that, won’t do it again.
I think “Don’t put your dick in the crazy” should be a compulsory course during high school, for the damage done by the crazys to their spouses and children is exensive and devestating.
I’ve ridden the crazy dick a time or two. Always very short-lived, which is how those things should be. Wasn’t ever particularly amazing though. Just convenient at the time.
Absolutely: college girlfriend and then fiance. Manipulative crazy bitch. I was so relieved when someone else put his dick in her and got her pregnant so I could flee. 40 years later the crazy bitch finds my email on line and tries to contact me with a bunch of bullshit about being her first true love, etc. I didn’t answer, and haven’t heard from her again. Cripes.
Agreed, except towards the end I would put this way: “Don’t get sucked into that cloud on anything BUT a sexual level”.
{Broad generalizations incoming}
Maybe it’s a gender thing, but sometimes it seems men get waaay more sucked into crazy relationships than women do with their nutjob bangs. That is, it seems easier for a woman to take on the crazy, enjoy the ride, and then GET OFF. After getting off, that is. Men…keep going back for more, lol.
Gotta know when to fold 'em. 
Nope, I’ve barely dated so I missed the ‘crazy’ and never had a dysfunctional drama-filled relationship. I really can’t handle drama, fighting, and out-of-control emotions - I just shut down and/or run away. Though I do have some wacky friends, they are sane towards me.
Sure I did, many times. And if I were ever once again single, I’d probably do it again.
Cripes indeed. I recently received a fb message from the crazy who had an affair with my husband 20 years ago:
"*no hard feelings i hope!
Hi **Boo**, you may not even remember me and before you think WTF is this girl doing getting in touch its purely a hello and saw you on FB and wanted to say hi to you and **exBoohusband **and family- i did see **exBoohusband ** on FB and sent him a hi but think i may have scared him or you so sorry about that! - i fully understand anyway and its all water under the bridge surely- twenty plus years have passed i am thinking you and **exBoohusband ** are still together and i'm really happy to know that you are together and all well. I hope you will have found it in your heart to forgive a very young and naive 18 year old who didnt know her place all those years ago!
This message is purely just a hello and an apology for ever having made your life difficult in the past.
with many best wishes to you and **exBoohusband ** and your daughter-
god bless. ;-)*"
Shudder.
I’ll see if I can find the one she wrote to the old man, he forwarded it to me. It’s totally different, all one true love and maybe now we are older …
Yes. Yes I have. Repeatedly but I’m in recovery now. I am attracted to crazy or crazy is attracted to me or both.
I was going to say that the message you just posted seemed quite reasonable. Apart from telling you it was water under the bridge… Like she has any say in the matter.
But if there was a contrasting message to your hb, then it’s a completely different story entirely.
Ok so am I the only one wondering just WTF Student Driver and the crazy did in bed that was so wild? Is it stuff I’ve heard of (and/or done myself) or is it a whole other level of crazy?
Are you going to start a “did the crazy ever put its dick in you?” thread? 'Cause I might have a story or two to tell . . . Not that a lady *would *tell . . .
There needs to be an option that includes both.