Holy. Fucking. Shit.
There’s so much wrong in that story that I can’t begin to describe it. It says bad things about the Australian system that it got to the point it did, especially for her poor daughters. I’m glad she’s locked up for good though.
Enjoy,
Steven
that when I was younger, and fancy-free, that so many women with Borderline traits were so attractive and intense. (The intensity is part of the attraction, of course).
Luckily, my batting average hovered around the Mendoza line, and I only ended up entangled with one of them (lived together for several years.) I knew I was done when she suggested I try taking her Thorazine with her 'to see what it was like".
I was in the Navy, at Great Lakes training center, in the process of getting discharged (long story), and hooked up with a woman a few years old than I from Wisconsin. After we’d been together a couple months, she told me she was pregnant, then later she told me she lost the baby after we had an argument (verbal only, although she pushed me a couple times, I didn’t lift a finger).
Then her friend called me a few days later, and told me that it had all been made up - she’d been trying to push me away, then when I wasn’t freaked out by the pregnancy (I was plenty freaked out, but I wasn’t about to bail on her), she hoped the guilt would drive me away.
But when I finally got my military separation orders (after several months due to paperwork snafus), she called me wanting to talk - I went over to her house, and I stupidly reconciled. I came to my senses when I got home, and I broke up with her over the phone. Of course, I’d forgotten that on the bus ride back to California, I ordered some flowers to be delivered, and they’d arrived ten minutes before I called her - something I regret to this day, because it seems like such a douche move.
The kicker is I had left my guitar with her (a sweet customized Fender Lead II), and was planning on having her send it with me because I didn’t to haul it halfway across the country on a Greyhound. I’m pretty sure she sold it off, or maybe she burned it.
TokyoPlayer That is so interesting. I posted a while back about a friend who was having an affair with a nutty woman - named Deb. It’s all over now and he really seems to have recognized what was going on. When someone’s doing the crazy now we call it “Doing a Deb”, someone might be Debbish, or it was a Debsarster, she went all Deb on him etc.
Regrettably, I did a lot of bad and / or fucked up things in my life. Being committed to this marriage and having kids has saved a hell of a lot of drama. I think I would have gotten sucked back into Doing a Deb if it weren’t for the family.
I’m glad that your friend recognized what was going on. I’ve written about my former friend’s wife, I’m sorry I called you a bitch.
That friend always said he could spot the crazy. Put 100 nice women in the room and he’ll find the bitch. And he did.
Some girls with suck your dick like it’s a chore, some girls will suck your dick like they truly are happy to give you pleasure, some girls will suck your dick like they really like sucking dick. The crazy will suck your dick like she is the last living member of a secret government dick sucking squad and if she fails at her dick sucking mission then fucking Al’Queada wins.
Thankfully my crazydar is friggen’ dead-on balls accurate so I’ve avoided any ridiculous relationships. Had some friends in bad relationships with the crazy in my 20s, but I am baffled at how people can keep going back to the crazy stick well into their 30s and 40s. You’d think even the slow learners would pick up half a clue after 20 years.
Thanks in part to having a good wife, good friends, and a good job and co-workers, there ain’t any bad drama in my life, and that’s the way I like it. The only argument my wife and I have at the moment is deciding on a name for our little girl who will be born in the next 10 days or so - neither of us can come up with anything we like and we want the other to decide on a name <g>
And not, e.g. and for instance, the poor bastard that got killed, cut up and cooked? :dubious:
I should have remembered this clip on sticking your dick in the crazy, from Phoneshop (somewhat overlooked - but brilliant - British sitcom from a couple of years ago):
Carry on watching the clip to find out why Jerwayne isn’t getting his “tings”. 
I did and ultimately it was disappointing. Not sure what to vote, really.
How about An-Mire?
The producers should wait until the actors finish eating before starting filming.
Grown ups who stick their dick in the crazy tend to be lower on my sympathy scale than children who are born to the crazy and get dragged along through everything with no choice in the matter. Reading the Wikipedia entry it seems the Poor Bastard[sup]TM[/sup] had red flags aplenty and chose to ignore them. According to his friends he had taken out a restraining order and was afraid she would kill him. Yet when she turned up in his bedroom in new lingerie, what did he do? Call the cops and have her hauled off for violating the restraining order? Nope, had sex with her and then fell asleep next to her. This was at the end of February, a month in which they had numerous violent arguments one of which ended when she stabbed him in the chest.
If I’m ever unfortunate enough to fall for the siren’s call of the crazy, I hope a knife to the chest is enough of a wake-up call. And if it’s not, well, I won’t hold it against people who say it should have been.
Enjoy,
Steven
Oh, God, Phoneshop! Wonder Man and I stumbled across it a while back and ended up spending the next half-hour with our fists stuffed in our mouths because we didn’t want to laugh out loud in case we missed the next brilliant line. I’d forgotten about it. Thanks, jjimm - that’s one of his Christmas presents sorted…
This is actually well understood these days. Psychology has come a long ways since Freud et al started.
Many, if not most, people who come from abused or emotionally neglected and other highly dysfunctional home environments simply miss out on the emotional development which people from “normal” healthy home environments do. One of the things they (we) miss out on is learning to pick up even a half of a clue. You know the saying of the definition of insanity is doing the same things again and again but expecting different results? That’s it.
There are pretty standard lists of issues which people will have, and they have shown a correlation between the degree of abuse and the age when it starts and the degree of problems. It’s known why the correlation occurs and they are developing more therapies for helping people overcome this.
For someone like me, who was severely abused physically, psychologically, sexually, mentally, you name it, and the abuse starting as an infant, then the issues can make it hard at times to function in society, let alone simply not being crazy or not recognizing crazies.
A number of people seem to be able to overcome these issues on their own without therapy, but the majority of people who come from sever neglect or abuse don’t. My mother is 77, and there are areas of her life where she is still dysfunctional.
Fortunately, they do have treatments / therapies which are helpful, but it depends on the person recognizing they require help. One of the problems is that people from this type of background often don’t understand how different they are, and fail to get the right help.
That’s great. Congratulations. Also don’t forget to thank your parents for having a good environment. If you provide the same for your girl, it’s much less likely she will become the crazy or will tolerate the crazy.
Txs. Sadly I also had a pretty crappy childhood thanks to the step-dad from hell, so not much thanks to give there I’m afraid. Although from the look of it I probably had it easy compared to your situation, which sounds truly horrifying, although it sounds like you made it out OK.
Thinking that all of my daughters’ relationships with men going forward in her adult life will be based on her relationship with me? Yikes, that’s slightly terrifying. I keep remembering Chris Rock’s line: “They don’t grade fathers, but if your daughter is a stripper you f*&$#@ up”.
If you’ve done well without the support of parents, all the better. Remember how you overcame, and use that to help your daughter.
I’m fortunate, two of my siblings came out of the same environment and are unable to function in society. Another, my older brother (who also raped and abused me) was unable to make the transition to being a good father. His now adult children are a mess. Of course, it didn’t help that he married the crazy, but that again is entirely understandable in terms of how people cope. Since he won’t own up to his abuse, I’ve had to cut him out of my life, but there are worse things that can happen to a person.
I could have retired by now with the money spent on therapy, but you have to do what you have to do. I’m glad that it worked out that I didn’t have kids before.
It’s actually interesting to think back on the times when I was the crazy and was fucking the crazy. It’s interesting now, but it was very painful at the moment. One of the things you out on when you grow up in an environment with sever abuse (e.g. where is was touch-and-go if one of us were killed or not) is having a safety net of love. Apparently, growing up without love of a parent does terrible things to you psychic. Being terrified that the parent will kill you makes it worse, or so they say. It really fucks up your ability to have stable relationships. If you grow up knowing that you can die because you give you father the wrong spoon for breakfast, (seriously, that was one of many times when it could have gone the wrong way. He happened to beat the shit out of a 6-year-old, kick him across the room and throw him against a desk, without snapping a neck.)
If you can live to the age of four without developing the firm knowledge that you life can end at any moment, at the hands of the person who is supposed to protect you, and with the same conviction that the sun will come up in the morning, then things apparently aren’t as bad as being abused later. This is in no way meant to belittle the hell you went through, as I’m sure that what happened to you also sucked.
You see, it’s also the unpredictability which is the enemy to the soul. Growing up, doing one thing one day, and then getting the living shit kicked out of you for doing exactly the very same thing, the same way, the next day means that you grow up without developing a sense of stability. So, living with and fucking a crazy is nowhere as insane as simply being a toddler who learns to be afraid of crying because crying at the wrong time could mean death.
It sounds like you may have other children, so imagine what it takes for a 3-year-old to be forced to dissociate their feelings. Then try to project to what happens with that person as an adult.
Anyway, I’m probably the party pooper, and it’s a lot easier for people to laugh at the crazy or the people who fuck the crazy, and to poke fun of people who don’t learn lessons in life.
Sorry to crash the party, carry on.
I don’t think you’re crashing the party TokyoPlayer it’s very interesting. Creating or putting up with or being part of abusive relationships, being accustomed to fear and anger and confusion.
I’ve never married crazy, but she was great for sex the one time we hooked up. awesome, I’d do it again, but wouldn’t marry or carry on a long term relationship.
OK- I should have seen this one coming.
My nutty neighbor (from my post up-thread) has broken up (again) with her most recent boyfriend (the one with the messy house and that loaned her the money that she hasn’t made payments on).
The guy stopped by my house recently to pick up a forgotten kid item and deliver a forgotten kid item (we are all neighbors and have kids in the same age groups that hang around together). He was here for all of 5 minutes, but my kids and husband were at school. He talked a little about the bad loan and left.
I guess she saw his car at my house.
I got calls from her at 6:59, 7:00, 7:01, 7:02, 7:07 and 7:10. Three of the calls were longish messages telling me that I’m a “backstabbing bitch”, a “fucking bitch”, and suggesting I ‘get together with this guy because he makes a lot of money and I wouldn’t have to work so hard’, and that maybe I had sex with him, etc.
That is the last contact I will ever be having with this woman, and if she sends her kids down here to play, I’m going to politely send them home.
Wow.