What surprised me is that they didn’t mention cramps.
“The blood comes out of my body from a hole between my legs, and while it’s going coming out I feel like somebody is squeezing my innards into jelly with their fists.”
That kid is going to be in for a rude awakening when the time comes if they don’t give her that little bit of info.
Women do not have to deal with the early morning paradox of “I have to pee so bad I have an erection and I cannot pee because I have an erection.”
Still…glad to be a man.
I first heard of it in “Harriet the Spy.” There was a line in the book which made reference to fallopean (spelling?) tubes. ( I believe the line was either “you wouldn’t know a fallopean tube if you tripped over one” or “you wouldn’t know a fallopean tube from a test tube.”) I asked my mother what a fallopean tube was, and you would have thought I suggested that she perform an unnatural act with the family beagle. Oy.
When I actually GOT my period, and asked my mother what I was supposed to do with the used pads after I was finished with them, she replied “What do you THINK you’re supposed to do with them? Eat them?”
Mom is a good woman, but used to be VERY uncomfortable with that kind of topic. So uncomfortable, in fact, that not only did I hide my used pads until I could find a way to get them out of the house rather than dispose of them in the only trash pail in the house (in the KITCHEN), that I became **desperately ** ashamed of all things female, and determined (at age 11) never to have children, because if I had a girl, I would have to talk to her about such things. (No, I am not kidding.)
That’s why I’m so impressed by Cartooniverse’s account (waaaaay back near the beginning of the thread) of how he discussed tampons with his daughter. You Rock, Cartooniverse!
Sorry for the digression, but shame-free teaching is more important than you might imagine.
We got that one too. The send away forms though were long expired.
Tenar, I’m sorry your mother made you feel so bad, but this:
[/quote]
“What do you THINK you’re supposed to do with them? Eat them?”
[/quote]
made me howl.
Nitpick: That was the sequel, “The Long Secret”. Beth Ellen had just gotten her first period, and Janie, the budding scientist, explained the whole thing to her and Harriet. Interestingly, she actually told them something I hadn’t known: the reason for menstruation. No baby = no need for nutrition = body jettisons lining of uterus. They didn’t tell us that in school.
The whole sequence was pretty funny. Harriet: “Falls right out of you?!” Beth Ellen (thinking) “Oh…why me?” Janie: “You get to skip gym when you have it.” Harriet and Beth Ellen, in unison: “Yeah?!” Of course, Janie, being Janie, was determined to “find a cure for this thing if it’s the last thing I ever do.”
My mom told me that when she got her first period, her mom gave her rags to use. She was determined not to keep her own daughters in the Dark Ages that way.
Nasty, I was going to eat spaghetti for dinner before I saw that.
Did anyone else find the video to be like a bizzare episode of the Teletubbies? I was waiting for a little sun with a baby face to pop up in a top corner of the screen somewhere. Possibly in the form of the hole between the legs.
Y’know those tribes where the Elder Women of the village chase away the menfolk from the hut where the mother’s a-birthin’, and throw sticks and rocks to keep the menfolk away until they come out with the baby?
Those are Wise Elder Women. 
Dear Lord, right when I thought we were finally free from this thread. Then again, if any thread is going to come and go on a cyclical basis, which better than this one?
That was my reaction as well! Before the pill, they were 7-9 days, and now on the pill they’re 5-7 days. I once had an 11 day period. Blah. Damn those lucky 3-4 day girls!!
Opal wishes. See my above post 
Man, those ancient Egyptians invented EVERYTHING!
That’s really nice of you to say ! I make a serious effort for nothing to be shameful. It’s their bodies, for goodness’s sake.
Dunno if anyone ever told me I rock before.
one month.
I win.
If I’d been eating or drinking anything, you’d owe me a new moniter and keyboard, Enola!
Five weeks. I win (for now) but I’m sure someone else will come along and top that.
:eek:
How much blood do you have in your body?! I start to get worried if any part of my body is bleedling for longer than five minutes!
Anyone see the commercial spoof on Mad TV of the One-Year maxi pad? It absorbs about a gallon of fluid, and you only have to change it once a year! Oh yeah, and the thing’s the size of a watermelon. BEFORE it starts absorbing stuff! :eek:
You just couldn’t let me have my moment, could you?
My girlfriend does. She was on the one period/3 months pills. It didn’t work. One long continuous period, for like 5 months. Then she switched off of them, which of course causes your uterus to apparently fall out, screws with your hormones, and provides for more continuous periods. She has a doctor’s appointment on Friday.
Holy freaking crap.
Note to self: don’t take the one period/3 month pills.