I just visited Bro 2, whom I’ve mentioned here before has a 3-year old from Uganda. His BIL also adopted a boy from the same “baby cottage”, so now they’re adopted cousins. Adam is now stringing together sentences, but of course sounds like a muddled little kid with the wubba-wubba kind of talking. You can’t detect much of an accent when he’s so bad at it so far. His getting this far, though, got me again into my worrying about what he’s going to encounter later.
Does someone have experience first or second or third hand in what he might go through? He’ll almost certainly have people assuming he’s white on the phone, and probably have more black guys trying to talk to him about rap albums than the punk he’ll probably be into (knowing his dad). We have a joke that he’ll come home numerous times and say, “They thought I was taller.”
Smokey and the Bandit
Buford T. Justice: Hey boy, where is Sheriff Branford at?
(black) Sheriff Branford: I AM Sheriff Branford.
Buford T. Justice: Oh, pardon me. For some reason you sounded a little taller on radio.
Did the person you know (or you) feel the need to hang out with more black people on purpose, seeing as how America is less likely to see past all this than it is with, say a Chinese “white-talking” person (my college buddy’s wife knows almost no Asian people, and I’ve known people, including me, who mostly subconsciously think of her as white). Did you feel pressure to hang out with a black crowd, or listen to this or eat that? Did you have dual behaviors at all, like people who move out of the American south but go back to visit family? Was there some kind of rejection if you did/didn’t? Was there any kind of attraction to doing that or not doing that? Did you feel any other expectations? I expect he’s got to expect quite a while of “You’re so articulate” and “Uh oh, chicken, make way for Adam” from people who think they’re either being complimentary or clever.
I didn’t grow up black in White World, but I was the only Indian kid in my entire boarding school for three years. He could “act white”, as you seem to be assuming, but it’s equally likely he’ll find something that appeals to him in black culture and become a fan of hip hop, the NBA, UPN comedies and shiny wheels (or whatever) regardless.
Yes, but I’m too tired to go into it right now. For your consideration, may I suggest the book Acting White: The Ironic Legacy of Desegregation. I haven’t read it - only saw a couple of reviews. But it caught my eye because I have certainly been accused of “acting white” and it is definitely a derogatory observation.
Not me personally but I have known some young people that have. Eventually they of course get to know some stereotypical black kids in high school or earlier. And from being around them, they learn the usual mannerisms and voice. But they retain the “white” style as well. It gets freaky hearing someone you know switch from typical white kid speaking to typical black kid speaking when they are among black friends.
And it seems if they don’t get exposed to black kids by high school, then they really don’t later learn “urban youth” speaking style.
It can also go the other way. I’ve known black people who start off with an urban accent and then later learn the generic white accent. They switch into it for business purposes and such.
I dated a black guy who was adopted by a white–very white–family. Now he’s a “rapper”. I don’t get the impression that he’s trying to act black or anything though. He does what he wants regardless of racial connotations, as far as I can tell. And he’s close with his family.
Now that I think about it, I guess if you just heard him talk you wouldn’t necessarily think he was black, although he doesn’t sound super white either. I really don’t think he has any big racial issues at all.
The other white couple I know who adopted black kids intentionally moved to a more racially diverse area so that their kids WOULDN’T be “black in ‘white world’”. Which I think is what such a family should do. (Their daughter bullies my daughter though, so I don’t like them! Interestingly, my family assumes she bullies her because she’s jealous that my daughter is light-skinned [she’s biracial], and the girl isn’t…but they have NO basis for thinking that.)
My niece married a black guy and they had a daughter.
Although since divorced (amicably - and dad visits his daughter several times a week and lives nearby), the daughter is going to a large high school and I believe there are only four or five other black kids in the entire school.
From reports from my niece, there seems to be no problem. She was always a straight “A” student and still is, she is one of the best softball players in school (11 years of playing softball on tournament leagues since she was a little kid) and will most likely get a college scholarship out of it. She is quite popular in school and has lots of friends. It helps that she is also drop dead gorgeous - and that is not just a proud great-uncle speaking - she turns heads wherever she goes.
We can only hope this doesn’t change (hey, kids and hormones and who knows what), but she is well-grounded and has a great relationship with both parents and they keep lines of communication pretty open on all subjects. As they live in a fairly upscale suburban neighborhood, neither she, nor her friends, have had much contact with the urban element - black or white - other than the music they listen to, and films they watch. Pretty much like any kid growing up in the 'burbs today.
So at this point, she has had no problem adapting. Don’t know if having a white mother has made the difference, but race doesn’t seem to be having a huge affect in her day-to-day life.
Agreed, and in my experience, the kids around me listen to all different genres of music, and embrace different segments of lots of American culture - with all the different music channels out there, kids are exposed to more than their parents’ music, and it’s not a rarity to be a black kid who likes Alternative, and hip hop, for example. The family’s best bet is to get him out there, amongst other black people, early and often, so he doesn’t grow up thinking that there’s only “a” way for blacks to be, and that if he doesn’t like what the blacks on tv like, or speak AAVE, that he’s ‘not black enough.’
Depends on where he lives and the people he encounters. If he grows up in an environment that’s pretty segregated (white folks do their thing while black folks do their thing), well, yeah, chances are he’ll feel a little weird. But if he grows up in a racially diverse area (especially one with lots of mixed families), then he won’t be that much of an oddball.
You know how white people tend to have diverse musical tastes? Well, so do black people, believe it or not. I can count on one hand all the rap songs I have in my mp3 player; most of my playlists are dominated by classic rock, white women singers (Sinead O’Connor, Annie Lennox, Natalie Merchant), and 80s techno pop. (Prince is a no-brainer, though. Gotta have some Prince.) I’ve actually grown to appreciate “black” music more as I’ve grown older. The very first album that I ever owned was “I Don’t Want What I Haven’t Got” by Sinead O’Connor. And I didn’t grow up in a “white” world. My parents are black, my mother is quite the Afro-centric type, and I grew up in one of the “blackest” cities in the country. So there’s no predicting what a kid will gravitate towards.
He might go through an identity crisis, but if he’s an independent enough person, then it will be short-lived. I went to a pretty integrated high school, and no one (black or white) gave me shit for loving the Black Crowes while other black girls were swooning over Jodeci and Boyz to Men. There were black Goths or “techies” that went to my high school, and they probably didn’t get picked on anymore than their white counterparts. If he goes to a school that’s diverse enough, then he’ll find his niche with no prob.
And as long as he’s cool towards everyone (i.e., he doesn’t go out of his way to disassociate from black people), then he’ll also be fine.
Yes, but my parents & siblings were also black (which will probably make a difference), I was a girl (which also makes a difference), the area I grew up in was overwhelmingly non-black (things are different in an environment that’s 30% black than they are in an environment that’s less than 3% black), and it was 30 years ago.
I have no idea what your nephew will go through. So while the answers for me are not really applicable, not really applicable/no, i don’t really think so, not applicable, I don’t understand the question, and that’s far too vague for me answer, his answers could very well be different. Chances are, he’ll be fine.
Monstro, I think you’re right that I’ve been doing a bit of stereotyping myself.
That’s a good point. I think my real fear is that he’ll feel bullied to be into one thing or another. I’m glad that we’ve reached the point where Eminem can just be good instead of “the white rapper” as a curiosity. I’ve just ordered a Fishbone CD, too (yesterday, not just now to make a point).
