Did your parents ever give you "the talk"?

I was watching Glee this week and there was a great scene where Burt and his son Kurt had “the talk.” And while Burt didn’t really tell his son about the actual mechanics of things, he gave him pamphlets to read and told him to come discuss when he’d read through them. And he told his son that sex meant something, and that he should only share that with someone he really cared about.

It got me to thinking that my parents never really gave *me *the talk. My mom is a nurse, and she toook me for a walk on the beach and told me all about the magic of ovaries, but never anything about sex, love, or relationships. I wish she had - I may have avoided quite a few pitfalls.

I’m not going to have to tell Baby Smaje about the birds and the bees for at least a decade, but I’d be interested to know what parents are telling their kids nowadays. And did *your *parents fail to give you all the info you needed?

Did your parents ever give you “the talk”?

No. I learned everything from friends, television, film and the internet (the last three including a fair amount of pornography). By the time I got my first sexual education from an adult I was taking a health class as a sophomore in high school and more or less knew everything that they were teaching.

No, unfortunately. When I got my period I thought I was dying. I mean, I’d heard about it from a friend, but I was only 10 and she said you had to be 12 or 13, so I thought I was dying. As for sex . . . I learned about it from the streets–the whitebread WASPY suburban streets of my childhood, but the streets nonetheless. That and occasional “racy” novels that I were passed around when I was a young girl. (This was way before the Internet.)

As a small child I had a computer program (Adam: The Inside Story) that was all about human anatomy. It included sections on pregnancy and childbirth, and did explain sex, but it all went over my head.

When I was 10, about a year after I had the first signs of starting puberty, my mom bought me a book that explained everything I might need to know. We talked a little bit about what periods were and that sort of thing, but we didn’t discuss sexual relationships.

I got a few actual talks a bit later on down the line. When I was eighteen and preparing to leave for college, my mom briefly talked to me about the early signs that someone was an abuser, and how to try and avoid these relationships. Just a few months ago (I was 19), since she’s now met my boyfriend, she gave me a brief ‘this is awkward but you know about contraception and avoiding pregnancy and STDs right?’ type overview.

My parents never gave me the talk either. This once caused me to fear I had impregnated my younger sister, because we had to share a bed while the house was full of company one night, and I had knew from Good Times that when a boy and a girl slept together, the girl might get pregnant.

I had already figured everything out from reading magazines (Redbook got pretty explicit), books, and reference texts, but my parents sat my brother and me down when we were eleven and eight-and-a-half. We first watched the Nick News special with Linda Ellerbee and Magic Johnson, about AIDS, which included a discussion of safe sex, and then my parents discussed mechanics and motivation (you love someone, it feels good, etc.). I wanted to sink into the couch and die, I was so embarrassed, but my brother was fascinated. None of this had ever occurred to him.

There weren’t any other formal talks, but my parents definitely made a point over the years of discussing what were good traits to look for in a partner, how to treat someone in a relationship, etc.

I also never got ‘the talk’…my folks bought some creepy book that had blocky tank-looking robots and left it on my bookshelf. Eventually the odd illustrations made sense.

Anyone else have that book? I don’t even remember what it was called, but the male tank-bot had a penis-like extension that reminded me of a slinky.

My parents had **The Joy Of Sex **and several other similar books in the bookcase in thier bedroom and that was how I learned the actual anatomical details. I was a voracious reader as a kid and had read a lot of adult oriented novels by that time.

I never had “The Talk” but I wonder if the sex books were for my benefit and left in thier bedroom and not mentioned… which pretty much guaranteed I’d read them.

no, not that I can remember. but I’m undesirable enough such that it never really mattered.

Sort of. My “talk” consisted of “don’t do it.”

Not really. No Dad around, but I did once ask my Mom what a virgin was. She choked out enough of a response for me to file it under ‘sex’. As for my boys, the sex talk started with getting them to say the word condom without giggling and going on from there. I’ve added supplemental information as the need arises ever since.

My mom never gave me The Talk, as in one big birds-and-bees lecture. She talked with me from a very young age, answering questions as they came up, and providing books that were age appropriate.

When I was very small, I had a copy of A Child is Born, the book with awesome in utero pictures taken by Lennart Nilsson. That provided a lot of questions for me to ask. About a year before I was expected to hit puberty (I maybe had breast buds), she gave me What’s Happening To My Body?. Before I started menstruating, she bought me pads to have when I needed them (I’d already watched her put hers on and change them, just because she never shut the bathroom door, and I was the kind of kid to barge in and talk to her when she was using the toilet.) When I told her I was sexually active (which she was NOT happy about, as my partner was 21 and I was 17), she came home with a bag full from the drugstore: condoms, spermicide and Today sponges, and took me to the gynecologist’s for a PAP and the Pill.

I have issues with some of her parenting, especially when I was a preteen and teen, but my education in matters sexual was very very well done. The only thing I think she really missed was discussion on the social/emotional impact of sex, but frankly, my mom’s not the most sexually healthy person herself (she’s…well, she’s frigid, honestly; not asexual, but actively loathes sexual contact in a pretty disturbing way), so I don’t know that I *could *have learned much from her on that front.

My dad (different household) had a stack of Playboys literally four foot high in the bathroom off the master bedroom. He and my stepmom knew perfectly well why we kids each occasionally spent some “quality time” in that particular bathroom - the one completely out of the way of the rest of the house! :smiley: No one ever said a word, but I got a whole different kind of education there!

My mother was a science teacher and not a prude so it wasn’t given in one fell swoop. I got age appropriate books and questions answered from an early age. The actual mechanics of such things came from various sources.

That does bring up a good question though. I don’t see how any non-Amish children growing up these days can not be exposed to porn much younger than I ever had it available. We had ratty old copies of Playboy and, if you were lucky, Penthouse but I didn’t see real porn until high school and that took some stunts to pull off. Now, you just hand junior a modern cell phone and he/she can see things that are illegal in many countries with just a few taps. There is no way to stop that. Even the teaser ads for pay sites are world’s beyond anything we imagined and I am not that old.

Nope. I learned the basics from a NOVA special on PBS, watched in the basement with the sound down low because I just knew that watching sperm cells bonk into an egg was a dirty, dirty thing.

Later, my school had a sex-ed field trip (those from the Chicago area, Robert Crown represent!) but I had it pretty well noodled out by then.

When my son was eight or nine, he asked how babies were made and I figured if he was old enough to ask, he was old enough to know so I explained it to him with the standard amount of embarrassment on both our parts. He thought it was the most disgusting thing he had ever heard of and announced his plan of finding a nice young lady who already had a child from a previous marriage so he could raise a kid without having to do all that penis & vagina stuff.

We’ve had talks since (both myself and the wife) about responsibility and relationships and teen baby-makin’ and that sort of thing. He’s 12 now.

On my own I checked out a copy of It’s Perfectly Normal from the public library when I was 10. That’s it. I’ve never had any kind of “talk” with my parents on either remotely sexual. Not even anything to do with puberty (Mom might have made a coment about my voice changing.

No talk. But no traumatic experience either.

I kinda blame the lack of instruction for turning me gay, for what’s it worth.


I loved those field trips. The Visible Man and Woman were so f’ing cool. :cool:

Almost my situation, except for a small age difference: I was 8, and neither my grandmother or my mother started until 16. My grandma thought I had several years to go. No such luck.

When I asked my grandma about it, she was too embarrassed to discuss it: but she gave me a copy of Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, but Were Afraid to Ask. She told me to read it. I did. If she couldn’t talk about it, at least she gave me the information herself instead of leaving me to learn about it in other ways.

My 11 year old daughter and I have already had the talk.

I did get “The Talk” but I was really too young to understand most of it, as I was only 9. 69 was very baffling to me, for example, and I thought penises hung under the balls. But I got the general gist, I suppose, and knew how babies were made long before my friends found out.

Yes. It was really boring too because I already knew I was gay so the vast majority of it didn’t apply.