A bit of a poll, tangential to this thread wherein there’s some discussion about a parent’s right to know what their kids are reading.
I’m just curious as to how many dopers had parents that monitored their book choices, approving or disapproving their reading material, or, how many parent-dopers restrict their kids’ reading material.
I had a library card as soon as I was old enough to walk to the library by myself and sign the card. My dad’s office was right around the corner from the library, and I’d trot myself over there, get a huge stack of books to check out, take them home, read, return them all on my own. I don’t think my parents ever once questioned what I was checking out. I was reading outside the juvenile fiction section by the time I was about twelve, and I swear I checked out every book in that library at one point or another. My parents rarely censored anything, really, and I can’t at all imagine them telling me not to read a book. Any book. After all, just because your kid gets curious about alternative religions and checks out a book on Anton LeVay doesn’t mean she’s going to run out and become a satanist.
Correction, I was reading outside the juvenile fiction section pretty much right off the bat, and I swear I checked out every book in that library at one point or another. Sorry, “about twelve” is my generic phrase for “really young” but I was reading adult fiction and non-fiction books the minute I got bored with The BabySitters’ Club, which is to say, immediately.
My mom is a librarian, my father is a writer, and my stepfather is a librarian.
Um, no. I had a very similar experience to yours. I basically grew up in libraries.
The teachers at the school I was going to would take away books if they saw me with any. I wasn’t “socializing” Pah. The books were much better company than the little cretins that I shared a school with. Bitter? Nah.
Nope, not at all. Once, at a garage sale when I was about 12 or so, I got a big crate of paperbacks for $1.00. I bought it mainly for the mysteries, but there was also a generous sprinkling of Harrold Robbins. That was educational.
Same with me, except my mother WAS a librarian. If I was sick from school, I went to work with her and stayed in the back room, reading. Worked my way through large swaths of the stacks, until I discovered the books with the little yellow label with an atom on it. Hooked for life.
My mother’s favorite story about all that involves my asking my 2nd grade teacher what books she read over the weekend. When she asked me the same question, my reply was “Volumes 4-6 of the World Book, cover to cover.” I was a real jerk as a kid.
Come to think of it…I haven’t changed all that much!
Me too! Grew up in libraries…now at 34 my wife and I have an extensive book collection and would never think of restricting a childs reading…
Furthermore those who do restrict what their children read, are in my opinion, doing a great detriment to their children. * It’s my experience as a teacher that those who are well read have a tendency to excel in what ever particular field they fancy. This is not to say that those who are not well read do not excel, just simply those who are tend to.
disclaimer I do believe knowing what your children are reading is very important. For instance I would never allow my 10 year old little girl read Lolita.
Er, Phlosphr, didn’t you just say that first you DON’T agree with restricting children’s book choices, but they say that you WOULD restrict it if your 10 year old wanted to read Lolita? Which is it… you believe in restricting or not?
I also grew up in libraries, and my mother did restrict my reading. Not too badly, but she knew that given the choice I’d read whatever I found lying around the house, which was often her books. As her reading choices were adult books that often contained sex and/or violence, I wasn’t allowed to read them. Nor was I allowed to go to the library and choose such books. I was allowed to read age-appopriate books that dealt with sex (ie, the Judy Bloom books) and books that dealt with it on whatever level she decided was appropriate for me at the time.
Other than that, I was pretty much allowed to read anything.
My mother never restricted my reading. She did however like to keep an eye on what I was reading so she knew what (if anything) we needed to talk about.
My mother screened my books because I was a VERY precocious reader (my first “adult” book was Chrichton’s Sphere when I was eight or nine and recovering from tonsillectomy.) I passed the Ramona/Babysitter’s Club books at about six years old (after reading them over and over and over…).
The first time I remember reading something that my parents hadn’t read before I did was King’s * The Stand* when the rerelease happened in 1990 or thereabouts. I was 10 years old and totally fascinated by it. I’m a King fan to this day. Wolves of the Calla is calling to me and I’d be reading it if I weren’t at work.
No. My mother used the philosophy that if I was old enough to understand it, I was old enough to read it. But she did tell me to come to her and ask about anything I read which upset or scared me so we could discuss it. I’ve always admired her for that, and I’ve tried to use the same principle regarding what my children read. My son graduated from Goosebumps to Stephen King when he was about 8; he’s big on scary stuff. I love that I can discuss books (adult and children’s) with my kids, now. It’s another way for us to stay close.
Hey! Me too, with the Stephen King thing. I remember lugging around this enormous hardcover copy of The Stand and asking my teacher if I could do a book report on it, in maybe fourth or fifth grade.
Nope. As a matter of fact, I read the Straight Dope books when I was about 8.
Looking back, there were advantages and disadvantages. Advantages: I loved them, I still love them now and they were very educational. Disadvantages: I couldn’t sleep for weeks after the column on spontaneous combustion, and I knew the words “fellatio” and “cunnilingus” before I had even the slightest concept of what they were about.
Not. but would you mind if your 10 year old little princess was reading books about pedophilia? I guess in one token she’d know what to look out for, but on the same token…ER…I may be inserting my foot in my mouth.
It’s a difficult call. My wife and I do not have children yet. So my judgement may be skewed. What age would you let your little girl read Lolita?
My mom let me read whatever I wanted, and I’m still reading voraciously. I do steer my six year old towards the better written books. I did give in and let her get some Goosebumps, because she didn’t want to start reading non-picture books. The fact that they were ‘scary’ sold her.
I guess as soon as she was able to come across the book by her own investigations into reading material. Nabokov isn’t an author that a kid would generally randomly come across, pick up to read, or be able to stick with. I think if my kid were old enough to pick up the book out of her own choice, and understand it enough to read it all the way through, I wouldn’t have a problem with her reading it.
What I mean by saying “randomly come across” is that there are some books that I found as a pup just by wandering around the stacks and picking them up–I remember picking up John Updike’s Rabbit, Run because of the “Rabbit” in the title, and being a bit disappointed that it wasn’t about an actual lagomorph. But I liked it, so I ended up reading the rest of the Rabbit books and The Witches of Eastwick, and some other stuff. I don’t think most young kids are going to just happen upon Lolita unless it’s off a parent’s bookshelf. If my kid is a precocious reader and something leads them to start delving into Russian authors or something, and she’s is capable of reading and understanding Lolita then I can’t imagine I’d have a problem with it. I’d talk to the kid about it, of course, but I honestly can’t imagine many circumstances when I’d stop my kid from reading a piece of literature. Note: I don’t actually have kids, so actual parents’ mileage may vary.
I don’t remember my reading ever being censored, and if it ever was it would have been very very lightly. I was reading adult books as well as kid’s stuff by about nine, and I can imagine my mom at least wanting to keep an eye on what I was reading in case I had problems or issues with it. (She once tried to punish me by banning me from books for a week, I was such a bookworm. I still am. It didn’t work.)
When I turned fourteen, I was officially let loose to read anything I felt like without any supervision whatsoever.
I don’t remember ever being told, “You may not read that book.”
I understand…and trust me I want kids to delve into the deepest depths of imagination. The only reason I mentioned Lolita is because there are kids who can read it, and it is simply not the book I would want my 10 year old imagining about. Whether or not I would stop them is yet to be seen. Personally I was 8 in 1977 when I read Water Ship Down. That was my coming of age book about the horrors life had to offer, though not a horror book of course - very philosophical in nature even - but I cried when reading it. And it was the first book I cried from.
My experience was the same as the OP’s. I spent much of my free time in libraries and book stores. My mother didn’t monitor what I read and encouraged me to read about/research any subject I wanted.
The only person who tried to censor my reading as a child was my fourth grade teacher, and I deeply resent it to this day. Starting in about halfway through third grade, I began reading through the fairy tales section of the library. We had a good library, there was an aisle and a half or so of fairy tale and general ethnic folk tales to get through, and I wanted to get through all of them.
When fourth grade started, I was right back at my project. My teacher thought it wan’t good for me to be only reading one kind of book. She called my mother. My lovely mother said it was nonsense, that I was reading exactly the way she reads: read ewverything there is about a subject until you’re done with it, then move on. I would move on when I was ready. The teacher didn’t buy it. She made me read and do a book report on Johnny Tremaine, a book I loathe now and forever. She told me I would fail fourth grade unless I did it.
I still read the same way my mom does, but I almost never read a book someone pressures me to read, no matter how good they say it is. Even if they buy it for me. Even if they wrap it in chocolate and take me out to dinner when I finish it (which no one has ever offered). I am scarred for life.
