Tomorrow we attend a memorial for the wonderful wife of a dear colleague. We both know him professionally. I’d met her a few times - the last time their then newborn son was sleeping on her bosom, happy as a clam.
She died last Monday. Immediately after giving birth to their second child, a somewhat preemie daughter. ( She is apparently doing pretty darned well. )
I know that there are no guarantees and that childbirth is- even in 2017- sometimes a very dicey thing.
But damnation.
I didn’t even know what forum to place this in. It’s hardly Mundane and I don’t feel like cursing and ranting.
Hug your S.O.
Tickle your kids.
This fellow has a 3 year old boy and a 7 day old girl. And a big loving family and literally hundreds of friends and colleagues.
I hardly know what to say. I’ve known people who lost young spouses, but I can’t imagine how they really feel.
Does this person have religious faith? I’ll pray he and the kids get through this.
I know a minister who had a wife and three kids. Returning from and out of town medical appointment for one of the kids, their car was struck by another, and he lost his wife and two of the kids. Their graves are in the same cemetery where I plan to be buried.
Has there been a schedule set, if needed, for folks to come in and help deal with your colleague’s housekeeping or child care needs?
We will learn much tomorrow. The word got passed quickly once he made it public on Wednesday using social media. Someone rapidly got a private fundraiser going to assist him. ( I did NOT know that GoFundMe take a heck of a slice from all $ ). PayPal - Friends and Family - charges no fees. The amount is as yet unknown, but since they were both freelancers, this may be a bit of a freefall.
I believe he and the family were religious. Are religious. Oh man. When does one use past tense here?
Sternvogel, that’s a chilling piece of news I did not know of.
As to the how - obviously childbirth is extremely strenuous on the human body. Under the strain, she could have blown a blood vessel in her brain, developed a clot that caused an embolism, or any number of other causes of sudden death. Current medical practice would not be able to do anything.
That’s sort of an inherent risk to being a fragile creature made of living meat. I’ve expressed my opinion a few times around these forums. Her death may have been inevitable, but we as a society did not need to guarantee it was permanent. If she died in a hospital, her brain could have been carefully preserved by licensed professionals, and as soon as we develop the tech far enough, she could be brought back to the living through some form of emulation.
There is no scientific evidence to say you cannot do this : all credible knowledge as of 2017 says that if the information was in fact preserved, she could have been restored once society has the means to emulate brains from that information.
Much of this is due to - what else - drug addiction.
Sadly, there are a few very rare obstetrical complications that can kill a woman no matter what anybody does. The most common are HELLP syndrome and amniotic fluid embolism.
I lived in a “board-and-care” home (essentially, a “rest home” for the elderly or otherwise moderately-dysfunctional people) for about a year, about 10 years ago. On the same property was a so-called “convalescent hospital”, which as everybody knows, is primarily a nursing home for the much-more-severely (mostly elderly) dysfunctional people – mostly people with severe strokes, dementia, etc. – people who are NOT “convalescing”.
There was a youngish (maybe early 40-ish or not even that) female there who was fairly severely brain damaged – wheel-chair-bound, could move but only just barely, couldn’t speak but an unintelligible mumble, no idea how mentally acute she was –
– because of a stroke or embolism or some such disaster while giving birth.
I am in awe at what humans are capable of enduring and surviving. I hope that his large, supportive family will be his rock as he struggles through this. I’m glad his baby girl is healthy and I also hope his love for his children will ultimately be the force that carries him toward healing.
It must be noted that the infant mortality comment is slightly misleading. The US has improved there but infant mortality improvements are still slower than in comparable developed countries and rates remain “behind most European countries as well as Japan, Korea, Israel, Australia, and New Zealand.”
I never fail to be aghast at suggestions like this.
What “licensed professionals” do you think do this? What makes you think we have the tech to do anything like this?
Cite. From a reputable source.
Freezing causes cell rupture, leaving you with mush when you thaw it out. Chemical preservation is likewise damaging. This is the real world we’re talking about, with a real woman who is really dead, not whatever science fiction thing you recently saw/read/imagined.
Saying “sorry, your wife is dead but you COULD have saved her if you did X” is not comforting, it’s actually pretty goddamned cruel.
SamuelA, please take a step back, recognize that your comments aren’t really about or helpful to the OP, and note that you have ample opportunity to bring this up in a more relevant thread (or, preferably, start your own if you haven’t already). It does not belong in this thread.
This is an instruction for all thread participants to cease that hijack, and to take it to a more appropriate thread if you wish to continue discussing it.
