There’s currently a threadgoing on about gorging one’s self on mini Reese’s Cups (you can make it to 65!). Only a guy would do that. So it got me to thinking that there are other only-male or only-female kinds of experiences that aren’t necessarily biological.
So I started thinking back to childhood. Every time I tell this story to a woman, it becomes apparent that a girl would A) never do this and B) put the kibosh on it when she had the chance.
So, a few doors down from me, when I was a little sprout, there was this double lot. This second lot was overgrown, and the neighborhood kids (there weren’t many of us then) would hang out there. We’d have a makeshift treehouse and all that crap. Well, one day, I was back there myself, pondering life and looking at a big, overhanging tree branch when a eureka moment happened.
If I put something heavy on the branch, tie one end of a rope to the weight and the other end to my ankles, I can hang myself upside down!
This is right about the point where girls start to veer away.
So, it was also the time where they had an ordinance saying that a large concrete wall had to be built between residential and commercial neighborhoods. They were constructing that wall. A bunch of cinder blocks could do the trick. So I grabbed a bunch of cinder blocks and hauled them up the tree and balanced them on the thick branch. I tied one end of the blocks and the other end to a pair of old Rollerblades (so I wouldn’t get rope burns around my ankles…I was thinking ahead!) and poked the cinder blocks with a stick. I learned real fast that if the rope was a little too long, it’d just yank the feet out from under me and knock the wind out of me. So I found out the right length and found how to hang myself upside down.
So I told a friend, Bob, about this.
This is the part f the story where a girl would have said “NO!” or threatened to tell.
I told him about the idea and what I had done. He, of course, thought it was a great idea. So we spent the better part of three days straight hanging each other upside down in a tree. So we told a mutual friend, Craig.
Yes, the girl would have stopped the Fun Express at this point as well.
Craig also thought it was a great idea. We kept this up for about three weeks, just hanging each other upside down. No broken bones, no permanent injuries, nobody dropped onto their heads (more than once).
Got any fun stories from childhood? I’m also convinced that boys dodge death about three times from childhood to adulthood and I’d like to see those stories as well.