I’m from the states but I’ve been traveling through europe for a few weeks now and there’s something I just don’t get. In the states I feel like a restaurant serves to accommodate me. In europe the restaurants constantly expect me to accommodate them. Didn’t order expensive enough food? Came at the wrong time? Wanted a glass of water or heaven forbid two and you get the stink eye or even shown the door. Obviously this is a generalization and not without exceptions but I have experienced quite a bit of it. From when does this custom arise?
Care to elaborate on where you’ve been, seeing as Europe is a continent of 30+ countries all with their own cultures/languages/food and dining habits?
San Vito, British with a second home in Italy who’s been holidaying in western europe her entire life and hasn’t a clue what the poster is talking about.
I’m not clear what you mean either. The service culture in Europe is definitely different to that in the US but it’s too large an area to make useful generalisations. If you’re eating out at a rustic family restaurant the experience is going to be very different to that of a chain restaurant in a city centre.
You don’t eat out because you’re hungry. You eat out because you want to dine. And you give yourself over to someone who wants to show you what that is. It’s like going to a doctor feeling kind of meh - that you don’t know what you want is a given.
If you strike a good place, that can be good. If you’re a tourist and you really *are *just hungry and you’ve struck a bad place, it sucks.
But if you “feel like a restaurant serves to accommodate me”, it’s possible you’ve never been to a restaurant before.
The only real differences that I recall (especially in Germany):
Diners are guests and are not expected to eat and run within 15 minutes. You basically are renting the table for the evening, if you wish. Waiters don’t hover, and in fact can be maddeningly absent.
Flagging down someone for the bill can be frustrating, as nobody is in a hurry and they don’t expect you to be.
If there are empty chairs at your table, expect strangers to be seated with you. I rather liked this concept, as opposed to the peculiar American territoriality. There have been numberless times here when I’ve stood waiting for a table to become free while single diners occupy a table for four.
For the OP: a glass of water is not normally served with meals in Europe. People generally order water as a menu item, since many people like it carbonated.
In the U.K., at least, tap water should be free for the asking.
In most places in Europe you have to mug the waiter for your check, so there’s that. And they don’t seem to drink as much liquids with their meals or something, because you better make that first drink last as you won’t be getting another one.
A thing you’d probably also have in the US, but that’s frustrating - when you’re in the fifth country of the week and you ask the waitress what the custom is on tipping, they always say “Oh, you should give what’s appropriate.” When obviously you don’t know what the custom is at all so you’re looking for some guidance, but I understand how wait staff would feel uncomfortable saying, say, “Twenty percent is standard” or whatever.
I thought that was so weird, when I moved to the States. You order a Coke with your meal, and they keep bringing you more when you finish it? Unheard of where I’m from, unless the restaurant specifically has a “free refills” policy.
Tap water was normally available, but you had to ask for it, unlike in most of the U.S., where it’s the first thing that’s brought to you.
I would agree that, at least in Germany, service sucks.
And I was a waiter there for a few months! (I always got far better tips than my German co-workers, but tips are not so great in Germany anyway…more about that in a minute.)
- In Germany, most wait staff gets paid a full salary, with benefits (health insurance, vacation etc.) and customers know this, thus they don’t tip particularly well. You are sometimes lucky to get anything, let alone a tip worth mentioning.
- Because they don’t “live off tips” like in the US, there is less inclination to put up with idiot customers. They take their time and if you aren’t happy about something, “too bad”. If you want something off the menu, or prepared differently, good luck. In other words, you get paid the same if there is a busy night or a slow night - now think how hard you would work if it is busy…
- Water is usually “sold” - meaning you get a bottle of bubbly water (or non-bubbly) if you wish, but water from the tap is not normal by any means. When I would notice a table of Americans, I would bring a pitcher of ice water and glasses and had people almost cry for happiness, “That is the first time we ever got water without begging for it!” (My tips went up dramatically at those tables!)
I have had lots and lots of Germans visit me in the US and almost every one is amazed at how friendly customer service is here…be it at the grocery store, or department store, but especially at restaurants!
That said, it takes some major arm-twisting to get my German friends to understand the concept of tipping adequately. They freak out when they see $5 or more left on a table, and once when I left a $20 tip (big tab that night) one German said, “You forgot your money on the table.” and about passed out when I told him it was a tip. BTW, I generally tip between 15%-20% for average service, and more if it is top notch.
I have to explain that in the US, people who work at restaurants generally get paid about minimum wage, and live off of tips. That is why they jump when you ask for something and why they are friendly and offer helpful suggestions and bring the bill to you with a smile.
Once they get that concept in their head, and realize that is why the food is also generally cheaper than back in the old country, they play nice and learn to tip well…it just takes some training.
We used to order our beers two and three at a time, because the waiters would never be seen again after the first round unless you chased one down. One evening, we could not get anyone to bring us a bill for our dinner, or even look at us. They were going out of their way to look anywhere but at our table, and I’m sure were having a great laugh at our expense in the kitchen: “Ja, you zhould zee za Americans wavink dere armz; hahaha!” After about 20 minutes of this, we all just stood up and headed out the door. Now THAT got their attention, and they came running after us.
The problem might be that there is no generally agreed on standard, contrarily to the USA. At least here, in France, there’s no such thing. Some people won’t tip at all except when they’re exceptionally satisfied with the service, others will always tip except when they’re exceptionally dissatisfied. Some will tip a given amount regardless of the cost of the meal or the number of guests, some will tip more only if there are more guests. Some will only leave loose change, others a large bill, etc… Some people will tip some % of the bill, like in the US, but it’s not really common, and the %age is whatever the person thinks is right.
Some French people might tell you “you should tip that”, but actually their answer is only based on their personal habit. They just assume, as it is often the case, that other people behave like them.
So, the waiter can’t give you any guidance, since there’s no norm.
By the way, regarding bringing the bill : over here, a respectable restaurant won’t bring the bill before you ask because doing so is considered rude. For instance, if there’s a shift, the waiter will normally apologize for bringing the bill and explain why he does so.
Most restaurants there have service compris, don’t they? Or has that changed?
If there’s a service fee (essentially always, except if there’s no paid waiter), it must be included by law.
However, the service charge isn’t the same as a tip, and it’s common to tip. In most small cafes, the 15% service charge goes to the owner, not the waiter. In others (for instance, typically, large “brasseries” in Paris), the service charge actually goes to the waiter. It depends on his employment terms, and basically, you’ve no way to know.
I don’t know if in restaurants, the 15% charge usually goes to the waiter or not. I would suspect not, but honestly I might be completely wrong.
Before a law was passed making mandatory to include it in the bill during the 70s, the service charge had blurry justifications (paying the waiter? giving you a plate and a seat?) and was added to the advertised price. I believe that if not given to the waiter, it’s treated differently than the rest of the bill for tax purpose. But I’d be unable to tell you what is or is supposed to be the service fee.
That sort of ambiguity would make me tend NOT to tip, and I don’t believe I ever did while in Paris. Living there, however, would be a different story, particularly if one frequents some restaurants often.
Yeah, but how do you get the waiter to come back? Is there a secret code? A Bat Signal? There’s no way to ask when your waiter has evidently decided to make a run for the border and is currently seeking asylum in Switzerland.
I found that clicking my fingers above my head and shouting “GARCON!” didn’t work. A lesson learned that customs are different in other countries. Fancy that!
Hmmm. I’ve eaten in a ton of restaurants in at least a dozen different European countries, and I’ve never really had the sort of experiences you describe. Bad overpriced food from a few tourist trap restaurants, definitely. Many comedy experiences across southern europe when trying to obtain a bill at 10pm (which is when most of the locals have just started perusing the menu), for sure. A few moments of puzzlement with the self-service in scandinavia. But no real bad experiences with hostile staff. Perhaps I am just inured due to eating out in London for years.