Disconcerting Puddle Under Car

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Last week, I walked out to my car, only to see a very disconcerting sight: a foamy brown liquid was oozing its way out from underneath.

I stood there a moment, wondering where the hell it came from. Engine? Radiator? Was it some strange muffler fluid I didn’t know existed?

I approached worriedly, only to find there was a tipped over cup from Starbucks hiding under my Prizm. Was glad to know that my car is not leaking vanilla latte.

But that led to a fun little game that my friends and I started. The object: what’s the most disconcerting liquid/substance that you’d be startled to find seeping out from under your car?

Some starters:

Spaghetti Sauce (Chunky, from Ragu)
Cottage Cheese
Melted Velveeta

2

Rhino sperm.

3

A three-foot diameter circle of melted slugs. (You know, the snail-like things that prefer not to have salt sprinkled on them.)

4

Another favorite:

Pepto-Bismol

No wonder the engine wasn’t running smoothly…

5

Blood

6

lava

7

Beer, just because it would be such a waste to see it there.

8

Once a fellow from a neighboring office came in and told me my car was leaking something - a lot of something. I went to look and saw that there was a huge puddle around the car and I could hear liquid splashing.

I looked under the car and saw a pencil lead thick stream coming off the bottom of the gas tank! Yikes!
It turns out the weatherstripping on the trunk had worn and it had filled with rainwater.

9

I once had a plastic grocery bag break, leaving a lovely pool of pinot grigio underneath my car.

Luckily, it was cheap pinot. However, it was cheap pinot; the garage smelled awful.

10

At least once a summer, I come out of a store and see a large and swiftly-growing puddle under my car. I freak out, flop down on the pavement, stare at the drip, wonder who I should call -

touch it -

realize it’s just water, condensation on my air conditioner.

I’m a dork.

11

Pistacchio ice cream

12

Most disconcerning? Probaly the time I changed out my oil pan gasket and took the car out for a test drive. Stopped by my friends business to say “hi” and came back to a large puddle of fresh 10w/40. I had blown the timing cover gasket. So I drove home (still had a couple quarts left and I lived 2 miles away). Changed the timing cover gasket, and any gaskets in the general area, started it up again to discover a frothy, milky, green, oily liquid dripping from behind my flywheel cover. Stupid rear main seal/head gasket. So I bought a new motor.