Dispose of any foodstuff where the packaging has changed more than twice since you purchased it.
- Dispose of any foodstuff that has its own website.
- Dispose of any food that is eligible to become part of the Geneva Convention.
Dispose of anything you refer to as ‘foodstuff’.
-
Dispose of any foodstuff whose name you cannot pronounce and which you do not remeber buying.
-
Dispose of any foodstuff that is at war with any other foodstuff.
-
Dispose of any foodstuff that is moving.
-
Dispose of any foodstuff that has commandeered the controls of the refrigerator.
-
Dispose of any foodstuff that is smarter than you are.
-
Dispose of any foodstuff that has been the subject of investigative reporting.
-
Dispose of any foodstuff that makes more money than you do.
-
Dispose of any foodstuff with more than one pet.
-
Dispose of any foodstuff that is not its archetypal color (e.g., green oranges, brown bananae, black lettuce; green bananae are a judgment call depending on when they’re green–if you buy them green, they’re okay, but if you buy them yellow and then they turn green, that’s bad).
-
Dispose of any foodstuff with footprints in it, then try and figure out what made the footprints. Get rid of that, too.
Along with anything called “Cheese-food product.” :eek:
- Dispose of any foodstuff that is dating another foodstuff.
And they’re dry and they’re soft and they moulder
Gettin’ sentient while they get older
Stinkin’ to the heavens above
It looks like foodstuff lo-o-o-o-ove…
“Ha ha ha”, chortled the bleu cheese formerly known as Monterey Jack. “This should make it awkward for them to dispose of me”, it muttered as it rewired the refrigerator to deliver a 3000-volt shock to anyone who touched the refrigerator handle.
-
Dispose of any foodstuff that is transcending into the planetmind
-
Dispose of any foodstuff that you catch masturbating to Greens Gone Wild!