Let’s recap the score so far:
Now I’ll take my crack at things-- how about “someone kicked in the teeth by love who was willing to try finding romance in an unconventional way?” And no, that’s not intended as a euphemism.
Fact: A couple of years ago, a guy in Washington State (I think), decided that he had had enough of the dating scene, and arranged a stunt by which he would marry, sight-unseen, a willing woman that his friends decided was right for him. Several dozen women applied, and the friends selected the one they though best. These two strangers wed, and as far as I am aware, are living happily together several years later.
So what is the major difference here? The fact that Rick Rockwell (nee Richard Balkey) was billed as a multi-millionaire? Has anybody heard Conger express that the only reason she participated in this was because the guy was a millionaire? The women agreeing to marry the guy in Washington did the same thing without the lure of dollar signs, so why is it a foregone conclusion that Conger was motivated solely by money?
I submit that it is entirely possible that Conger was motivated less by the idea of a financial windfall from this stunt-- remember, agreement to a pre-nuptual contract was a condition of participating, meaning that if the marriage didn’t take, neither did she-- than by a desire to get married to a stable, successful man. According to interviews with the other contestants that I’ve read, Conger came off backstage as being one of only a few women who actually wanted to get married, rather than just be on t.v. If she was some sort of transparent gold-digger, I’d assume that these women would be the first to dish that opinion out.
I’ve been in several serious relationships that ended painfully, and I can see how some people faced with that same situation-- as Conger had recently been dumped by a longtime boyfriend-- could throw their hands up in despair and decide to approach romance from an unorthodox angle. I see nothing wrong with the idea of marrying someone you’ve never met. Traditional wedding vows did not assume that the couple were already in love with each other, becuase in most instances, they were not. It was merely expected that the parties would agree to do their best to learn to love their partner. Who’s to say that that’s not the attitude that Conger went in with?
Sure, the big hook for most people was that Rockwell was a “multi-millionaire.” Certainly, if FOX offered a show called “Who Wants to Marry an Unemployed Guy With No Ambition,” it’d be hard to come up with takers. But who can say that if the show was billed as the slightly less pithy “Who Wants to Marry a Financially Stable Middle-Class Guy With a Good Job,” Conger wouldn’t have been there too? In this case, maybe “multi-millionaire” was a read as a proxy for “ambitious, hard-working, and successful,” not just “a bank account with a dick.”
We all know that this marriage failed, but is there any reason to assume that Conger somehow was to blame? Anyone who saw the last five minutes of the show saw Rockwell, within seconds of meeting her, planted a kiss on Conger that my parents, married for 35 years, would think is overly passionate. Clearly, the guy assumed that he was “buying” a shortcut to the physical intimacy that married people share. What, in fact, he was buying was the opportunity to get to know and build a future with a marriage-minded woman who appeared to share his interests. Had the guy behaved like a gentleman that night on stage-- like a peck on the cheek and some humble thanks to the woman-- who knows what might have come from all of this?
But hey, if it makes you feel superior to hurl vituperative, stereotyped opinions of this woman out, don’t let compassion or reason stand in your way. To those colorful folk quoted above, what’s your opinion of Rockwell?