Ditzy Darva, Ms. Millionaire

The BBQ Pit
41

Ah no. YOU’RE making assumptions (actually, you’re putting words in my mouth, but whatever). I didn’t say they “HAVE TO exist as a precondition to marriage.” I said marriage SHOULD BE about those things. And every successful marriage I know of started with, and still has, a healthy dose of those key ingredients. Maybe they do it different where you live.

Mmm-hmmm. And this “firm conviction to work towards building a loving relationship” was evidenced by Rick and Darva’s actions in what way? How exactly did you get this insider information that no one else seems to have heard about, that Rick and Darva discussed before the marriage - and agreed - that they shared a “firm conviction to work towards building a loving relationship?” I must have missed that. (Seems that purported “firm conviction” wasn’t very firm, after all, was it?)

Hey, if you want to grab the next babe off the street and try to get her to join you in your “firm conviction to work towards building a loving relationship,” knock yourself out! I think you’re going to need a lot more than luck OR money, tho. You’re going to need a stupid, non self-respecting, moneygrubbing, bimbo like our pal Darva.

Everyone I know would label such actions (agreeing to marry someone that you’ve never met, never laid eyes on, and know nothing about other than the size of their bank account) as “absurd” “crazy” “beyond stupid” “insane” “whacked” “greedy” “gold digger” etc. I’m guessing most of your friends and acquaintances would tell you the same thing. If not, maybe the people you know are a bunch of nutjobs.

Disputin
Stupid statements cheerfully obliterated.

42

wait! I have it! Nurlman is Rick Rockwell in disquise!!! Rick!! you dog…go on with your bad self now and quit funnin us…

“I’m the best there is Fats. Even if you beat me, I’m still the best.”
(Paul Newman in The Hustler)

43

Well, now we’re back to Darva being a complete moron, which is that initial question to which you have objected. “Manifestation of sexist stereotypes on the part of the initial posters” may be your agenda, and you may preach of reason and compassion, and that’s fine, but you continue to talk of an innocence and naivete on the behalf of Ms. Conger that just doesn’t wash.

There is an underlying assumption I’ve made in the case of Rick Rockwell, that, generally speaking (and yes, this is a grand stereotypical assumption on my part) that the average garden-variety millionaire is not a “nice” person. A “nice” person is not what was being advertised. A “millionaire” was being advertised.

Fox dangled a wallet on a string in front of a crowd and Darva jumped for it. Fox made no promise that the million dollars had a respectable person attached to it, instead of a sleazeball. Conger didn’t bother to ask, but acted the part of the surprised victim when appearing on every tabloid show she could, milking the situation for all it was worth, working diligently to grab every photon of the spotlight whenever she could. So, “publicity hound” is, IMO, an accurate assesment.

Darva didn’t back out before the wedding, but after, so she could fulfill her contractual agreement to go through with the sham marriage and keep all the stuff (the ring, the cash, the trip, whatever). That doesn’t smell like someone in this for the romance, or someone in a situation they wanted desperately to avoid, but someone who qualifies for “golddigger” in my book.

There are manny players in this story. Fox, Rockwell, and Conger in particular. That a millionaire bachelor is a jerk isn’t surprising. That Fox aired this shambotic spectacle isn’t that out-of-the-ordinary for Fox. The fantasy about the innocent, romantic dreamer that was made a victim by everyone is the one story that just doesn’t fit, at least as I see it. Sexism doesn’t enter in to it, no matter how hard you try to make it an evil sexist plot, perpetrated by those awful nasty male subhuman creatures. Sorry, I still don’t buy it.

Excuse me…I should have added “not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

This sig not Y2K compliant. Happy 1900.

44

Just adding murk to roiled waters…arranged marriages are not rare. Marrying a total stranger, with wealth, status and social connections building networks between families as the goal is the accepted norm even now.

BUT the essential difference is the context. We don’t celebrate the principle behind the practice, even while we gloss over the realities. C’mon, how many marriages have you seen that are more familial mergers than unions based on affection? IMO, the morality depends on the viewer; with love based marriages crashing around the 50% rate it’s hard to diss solemn contracts based on social factors.

But the difference w/ WWTMAM was that it dragged fantasy, media and common practice into the same cesspool. The only “plus” of the groom was his purported riches. Any decent matchmaker would have reseached the brag and found out he lived in a tract house w/ 2 broken toilets in the backyard.

The whole ballyhoo unfortunately illustrated the tawdry underside of some social practices. People (male and female) choose mates all the time based on wealth and status–is this really a shock? How many women OR men rush to date and make official alliances with those of “different classes”?
Damned few.

The “millionaire wedding” TV circus just blew a lot of comfy preconceptions into atoms. It blatantly pandered to the class, wealth and Cinderella thing. It exploited some unspoken realities and crossed the many matches based on love, loyalty and devotion.
What La Darva and La Dick did was break the rule of tasteful silence. Marriages for money are common as ditch water–but always tactfully gussied up and never openly presented as such.

How was Anna Nicole Smith, the voluptuous blonde married to the geriatric gazillionaire, so different? If he’d married a horse-faced nymphet sprig from a suitable family tree few outside the immediate (rarified) circle would have commented.

Situation ethics in action, folks. It’s amusing if viewed in a detached way.

The action wasn’t new; the mistake was televising in for the masses.

Veb

45

What I find hilarious is that this guy wasn’t much of a multi-millionaire at all. If I recall correctly, he’s worth about $2 million, but only because he’s a cheap tight-ass, not a daring entrepreneur. There are plenty of really boring millionaires out there (pick up a copy of “The Millionaire Nextdoor”). Somehow I bet Darva was expecting a bit more.

46

That’s probably the biggest difference between those that thing Darva got a raw deal, and those that think Darva is something less than respectable. I can’t speak for others, but I stopped believing in Julia Roberts as the sweet, virginal hooker and Richard Gere on a white horse a long time ago. “Let the buyer beware” and “You shoulda known better” come to mind, as does “I bet you really did know better, so what’s your scam?”

This sig not Y2K compliant. Happy 1900.

47

Oh please, Opal. If you’re going to argue by analogy, at least pick an analagous one. Try this one on for size: if the thread was “women are terrible drivers,” and I responded with “wait a minute, men are responsible for more accidents than women are,” would you tell me “but we’re talking about women here, not men. If you want to talk about men, start your own thread”?

People were slagging Conger[women] about her questionable motivation[driving]. I accused them of stereotyping, on the basis that Rockwell[men] was even more culpable for the mess, but that no one was slinging acidic cliches at him. See how my analogy above fits this template also? See how yours doesn’t?

If all you want is to sit around and tear Conger down for degrading herself on t.v., that’s fine. But if I call you on what I perceive to be a sexist bias in choosing to focus your anger at only one of the two culpable parties, and you wave that criticism off with “but we don’t feel like talking about the other person,” I’m going to write off your conversation as petty trash-talking.

Fair enough. If you start from that assumption, then yes, Conger could only be said to be participating because of the money element. But if you don’t make the assumption that millionaires cannot be “nice” people, my position might have some validity.
For the record, FOX executives have stated that they made an effort to select the most personable candidate from their stable of eligible millionaires. That may be making a king out of the one-eyed man in the land of the blind, but assuming Conger didn’t share that same cynicism, wouldn’t she be able to rely on FOX not to pick some obnoxious asshole? (Remember, FOX had an interest in seeing this first marriage work-- both for the sake of future wedding episodes and for follow-up specials on the happy couple.)

I don’t purport to know exactly what was going through Conger’s head, but I think I’ve presented a plausible scenario that defends her actions from being whorish or mercenary. I don’t dispute that it’s possible that she was motivated simply by greed. But I’m willing to admit that it’s also possible that she simply made some naiive but innocent assumptions about what she might be getting into.

48

If she wanted to just get on TV or some good publicity she could have simply said “NO” to his proposition of marriage. I think that would have been hilarious.

49

Help me out here. It was on the news here in Holland when mr. Millionaire married his money-horny whore, but what happened after that? She didn’t put out, I read. Meaning she didn’t have sex with him? Does she want to get out of the marriage? Can somebody provide a link or an explanation please?

Coldfire

"You know how complex women are"

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
50

Coldfire,
After the wedding, it emerged that Mr. Rockwell had a restraining order placed against him by an old girlfriend because of alleged physical violence and threats. About the same time that that hit the media, the pair returned separately from their honeymoon, and Darva appeared on television to say that the two of them had barely spoken during said honeymoon.

She reported that she did not sleep with him, and in fact had a chaperone with her at almost all times. She claimed there was no chemistry between them. She was also apparently offended that he kissed her so enthusiastically when he appeared on stage and chose her.

Darva has also said that she wasn’t really thinking clearly about the ramifications of “winning” or of marrying a stranger. Rick Rockwell maintains that he really thought the marriage could be the beginning of a normal relationship, and through mutual interest and commitment the two of them could get to know and love one another. Meanwhile, his financial status has been shown to be somewhat less impressive than earlier implied.

51

I forgot to say that, pre-wedding, they both signed an annulment agreement that allowed either of the parties to get out of the marriage at any time for a year(?) afterward, no questions asked. She is now going to exercise this option, but as you probably gather from the above, she gets to keep the $35,000 ring and some kind of car, as well as having enjoyed a trip to Vegas and a honeymoon trip.

52

Please show me where I’ve done this. Seems to me I haven’t said much about it one way or the other. Not that I’d expect you to pay attention to the facts or anything.

I think my analogy is fine. This is a thread about Darva, her motivations, etc.

–
“it’s all real”
“I KNEW IT!!!”
O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com

53

Thank you God (DavidB, Cecil, Allah, JHVH, Mithras, Rodan, take your pick, or add your own), for making me too broke to afford to have the TV fixed.

54

SO Nurl-
The fair and good assumption would be to assume that this guy is cool? Even though he’s loaded and can’t find a woman interested enough in his money??

The only thing she knew about this guy was that he was rich. and single. and That was enough for her.

And if she wouldn’t have gone around to every media outlet that would elt her dumbass on the screen bitching and moaning and crying about what a victim she was? The whole thing would’ve blown over by now…

Poor fucking stupid bitch! At least rockwell was a multi Millionaire…which was the only thing he said.

-Frankie
I’m a wholesale dealin papa, but I retail on the side.-Brownie McGhee

55

Sorry, Opal. I was flustered by the lack of a suitable second person plural pronoun in English. Yes, you personally haven’t been one of the ones slinging insults around. You have taken the position that discussion of Conger’s “ickiness” relative to Rockwell’s is verboten–which, as I’ve mentioned, I also have a problem with-- but your posts have been free of acidic Conger-bashing.

56

Is that so far-fetched an assumption? A shy computer geek who just hit it big with an IPO but has no real dating experience? Some guy who got off a neurosurgery residency and spent a few years building a successful practice which is now stable enough to allow him to worry less about his business and more about dating? Some good-hearted rich kid that just got dumped by a longtime girlfriend and who hasn’t been able to shake an ensuing crisis of self-confidence?

I’m not saying that at 9:45 pm that night, the smart money was on a self-effacing charmer walking out from the wings, but it wasn’t unthinkable either. If you’re willing to admit that having some bucks doesn’t automatically make you an asshole, then it’s not too much of a leap to think that there may be some shy, mildly eccentric but otherwise well-meaning guy willing to play along with a “Who Wants…” scheme to meet a good looking, well-educated, marriage-minded woman without having to deal with the singles scene.

I’m not saying that it would be everyone’s cup of tea. But I think there are a good number of people out there who would participate in it without exclusively mercenary intentions.

57

Noooooooooo, I’ve just said that as this thread is about HER then it is stupid to jump on people for not attacking HIM. Can you see the difference? You’re expecting people to focus on them equally, when the thread is about her. I never said people SHOULDN’T talk about him, just that you can’t EXPECT them to or accuse them of sexism when they DON’T.

–
“it’s all real”
“I KNEW IT!!!”
O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com

58

Late reply to Wendell Wagner: regarding your statement about people going home with strangers in bars, I think the point here is that there was quite a lot of sober decision-making that must have happened over several days, not in one evening in a drunken haze.

If she had signed up one evening in a bar after one too many cosmopolitans and regretted it the next day, I’m fairly sure we wouldn’t be as hard on her. But this took planning, travel, and several days to put together.

Regarding Darva herself, I say she’d score above 75 IQ points and knew damn well what she was doing. It’s typical of our society that her first response, after having strenuously recruited herself for this very event, was to cry “victim.” WTF? I mean, would YOU rely on someone’s publicist or whoever for full disclosure on this asshole’s background? Of course you wouldn’t; you’d want some independent research to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer or a mobster.

And I totally agree with whoever said that FOX is perfectly happy with the outcome. Where would the copy be in a happy coupling? Booo-ring! I bet they’re in hog heaven; more slop to report every day!